therecanbeonlyone is offline therecanbeonlyone Post #1  August 23,2009, 8:37am
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What is the proper time frame to close someone out?I dont understand how you go from messaging someone three or more times a day in O.C.down to nothing.I had one match in particular I had previously closed out because of the distance.She requested that I reconsider with the "maybe you would think differently if we had met"option.I re-opened and we quickly moved to the O.C. where she sounded like a very promising match and that told me she was selling her home and would be open to travel.It's been a week now with no communication.I have a hard time believing that anyone outside of an on-call surgeon couldnt make enough time to leave a message.Why bother to request someone to reconsider then just play the vanishing game on you?The worst part is that in one of the messages that I sent her I expressed how annoying that was,and she completely agreed.Am I missing something here? Please leave your opinion on how long you should wait until you call it quits.Any personal experiences would be nice too.
 
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MelinCali is offline MelinCali Post #2  August 23,2009, 8:41am
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I usually assume someone could have a busy week, but after 2 or 3, maybe they have lost interest.

She is selling her house, but does that mean she is busy with it? She could have a tremendous amount of stuff going on if she is having open houses, or is in fact already at the packing stage. It might be worth a little wait if you think she is a good match.

I had a match poof on me and I suspect it was because I didn't reply quickly during the time that I was moving (and temporarily had my internet disconnected) even though I had given him a heads up about my move.
 
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waypoint_finder is offline waypoint_finder Post #3  August 23,2009, 8:42am

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I had a match like that. I closed her out as soon as I caught onto what she was doing.

She was basically collecting a flock and then going down the list slowly.

I don't know about you but I'm not sheep.
 
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BLESS77 is offline BLESS77 Post #4  August 23,2009, 8:57am
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If this situation was mine, I would give it a few weeks, maybe even a month simply because with the moving, many unforeseen things can come up. Her internet could be temporarily disconnected and she has to wait 2 weeks to get it transferred, her subscription could have come due at the same time and she isn't aware because she's not able to log in, she could have had something happen personally or any number of reasons.

If ya'll had a good connection prior to this week of no communication, I would just wait it out.
 
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therecanbeonlyone is offline therecanbeonlyone Post #5  August 23,2009, 9:07am
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This would be totally different if I was given some kind of heads up,but I was told nothing.She said the house was on the market,she made no mention of being busy because of it.She wasnt to busy previous to the open communication,so why all the sudden to busy?
 
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therecanbeonlyone is offline therecanbeonlyone Post #6  August 23,2009, 9:09am
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Waiting weeks to reply to someone speaks volumes to me,it basically says "I might be interested in case my other plans fall through"
 
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boccabum is offline boccabum Post #7  August 23,2009, 9:10am
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therecanbeonlyone wrote :
This would be totally different if I was given some kind of heads up,but I was told nothing.She said the house was on the market,she made no mention of being busy because of it.She wasnt to busy previous to the open communication,so why all the sudden to busy?
Maybe she sold her house and doesn't have Internet connectivity yet. And maybe her work Internet blocks dating sites like EH.
 
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stevex is offline stevex Post #8  August 23,2009, 9:13am
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Since it has only been a week I wouldn't panic yet. after 2 or 3 weeks I would move on, I might still leave her open just in case. I mean she might be out dating other people but still interested in you and maybe you and her will make a better couple than she guys she is out dating now. So perhaps you should go seek out other women, if things change and you meet someone else than close her. Who knows, in the end the two of you might end up together or you might not.
 
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MelinCali is offline MelinCali Post #9  August 23,2009, 9:14am
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therecanbeonlyone wrote :
This would be totally different if I was given some kind of heads up,but I was told nothing.She said the house was on the market,she made no mention of being busy because of it.She wasnt to busy previous to the open communication,so why all the sudden to busy?
I find a lot of people post on these boards with similar complaints...it's been X amount of time and no response. I often feel like the person has no patience.

It may be that she is done with you and has poofed. BUT, maybe something has come up that has kept her from communicating (an accident, unexpected work assignment, sick relative, etc.)-- you just don't know. That's why I say if you think it is worth it, be patient and give her more time. If not, move on. This is the way that on-line dating goes. The scenarios for waiting are that either she responds eventually and explains her lag in communication with a good excuse, or you close her in a couple of weeks instead of now. I think it is a no-brainer.
 
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JoyfulVA is offline JoyfulVA Post #10  August 23,2009, 9:20am
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I am a newbie too and it is hard to figure out when someone is no longer interested. But my vote is to wait at least one more week but also continue to see/search for other matches too. Life does get complicated sometimes when we least expect it and it would be a shame to close her out and wonder if she was just juggling too much. If she cared enough to ask you to reconsider then she may well be worth another week or so to see what is up.

Good luck!!
 
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