Is it okay to ask a guy to get tested before I sleep with him?


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JDavid is offline JDavid Post #41  August 25,2009, 1:40am
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Some young men regard STDs as "affirmation of manhood" -- see the thread

http://advice.eharmony.com/boards/da...tml#post720569 (STDs as "affirmation of manhood"?)
 
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Seneca is offline Seneca Post #42  August 25,2009, 5:03am
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When a man asks YOU to get tested before he lets you sleep with him - smile, and then go get tested. After all, women are one of the primary sources from which men contract VD.

Last edited by Seneca; August 25,2009 at 1:01pm.
 
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saulgoode is offline saulgoode Post #43  August 25,2009, 7:10am
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It should be noted, too, that people with STDs overwhelming lie about it.

I agree, my methodology of "Are you clean?" is not all that scientific, but if you ask it just before you dock vessels, and then watch their reaction, you may get an honest answer, or at least an honest reaction.

As for people not knowing... they know. I don't think there are many folks out there who are surprised to find out they have an STD.

They know.

As for HIV, that's so 1980s. It's posh to have it, now, kinda boring, like cancer and herpes, so treatable... yawn. People may even kiss you, just to prove they're not buying into the myth that HIV can be spread by kissing, show their humanitarian Philidelphia side.

Nobody cares about HIV anymore, doesn't even pop up in the movies or our sitcoms anymore, not like it used to, and don't bother asking for grant money for research.

If you want a COOL disease, you're gonna have to get the Swine Flu, sorry, H1N1 strain. Now there's the latest STD! We're throwing grant money after that faster than we are the banks!

Maybe not that fast, but still.


- Saul
 
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WoolyOrl is offline WoolyOrl Post #44  August 25,2009, 8:22am
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DreamingOfJustice wrote :
About 232,700 persons in the US do not know their sero-status -that refers to their own HIV status. Those statistics are based upon a Centers for Disease Control and Prevention poster, presented at The CROI in 2006. The brief poster summary is hereCROI 2009 Abstract #1036)
That's a very scary statistic. I think I will never have sex again (okay, maybe I will... but it does give me something to think about).
 
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DreamingOfJustice is offline DreamingOfJustice Post #45  August 25,2009, 8:50am
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No Saul- 'people' do NOT know!

In fact, it's been demonstrated that knowing HIV status actually improves the percentage of time people use condoms. People who know their true HIV status tend to protect others, not lie about it. And even going by your faulty assumption here- if you 'know' people are going to lie about their status, asking someone right before youre about to have intercourse-is about the worst possible timing.

Having a discussion about safer sex in a neutral place- NOT the bedroom- and definately NOT after!- is the way to go.

You dont have to lie- just use a condom, every time. There's no need for drama whatsoever.

And HIV/AIDS is so 80s?

I guess you're trying to bait me. The epidemic is surely not remotely over...please, try educating yourself ... www.cdc.gov.. (The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention)
Or check out www.hivinsite.ucsf.edu (the University of California at San Francisco)..

I can't understand your attitude, Saul.
In fact, it's putting you at risk.




saulgoode wrote :
It should be noted, too, that people with STDs overwhelming lie about it.

I agree, my methodology of "Are you clean?" is not all that scientific, but if you ask it just before you dock vessels, and then watch their reaction, you may get an honest answer, or at least an honest reaction.

As for people not knowing... they know. I don't think there are many folks out there who are surprised to find out they have an STD.

They know.

As for HIV, that's so 1980s. It's posh to have it, now, kinda boring, like cancer and herpes, so treatable... yawn. People may even kiss you, just to prove they're not buying into the myth that HIV can be spread by kissing, show their humanitarian Philidelphia side.

Nobody cares about HIV anymore, doesn't even pop up in the movies or our sitcoms anymore, not like it used to, and don't bother asking for grant money for research.

If you want a COOL disease, you're gonna have to get the Swine Flu, sorry, H1N1 strain. Now there's the latest STD! We're throwing grant money after that faster than we are the banks!

Maybe not that fast, but still.


- Saul
Last edited by DreamingOfJustice; August 25,2009 at 8:56am.
 
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JDavid is offline JDavid Post #46  August 25,2009, 11:00am
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saulgoode wrote :
It should be noted, too, that people with STDs overwhelming lie about it.
I don't know what percentage of STD positive people lie, but it takes only one. My favorite brother died of AIDS contracted from a long-germ partner who claimed to be negative but was not and knew it.


Seneca wrote :
When a man asks YOU to get tested before he lets you sleep with him - smile, and then go get tested. Men catch VD from only one place.
"Only one place"????? -- dirty needles, male partners, female partners, blood transfusions, contact with body fluids -- one place????
 
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Seneca is offline Seneca Post #47  August 25,2009, 12:59pm
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Oooops ! I stand corrected on the "one place" comment.

But I stand firm on the "Smile and go get tested" advice, and that is the real point to my post.
 
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SierraMountainAir is offline SierraMountainAir Post #48  August 25,2009, 3:54pm
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DreamingOfJustice wrote :
You dont have to lie- just use a condom, every time.

You must love the feeling of washing your hands with gloves on.
 
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wordwoman is offline wordwoman Post #49  August 25,2009, 4:18pm
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parakeetjordan wrote :
I'm afraid of catching sexual diseases. Is it okay to ask a guy to get tested before I will have sex with him?
Absolutely. And, you should get tested too. No sense in asking him to do something you won't do yourself. If possible, go together.

And, even after both of you know the test results, insist on using condoms...every time. And, after six months, both of you should get tested again.

BTW, if he says "no" to the tests and the condoms, walk away.
 
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neardc is offline neardc Post #50  August 25,2009, 4:25pm
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6dle899 wrote :
You must love the feeling of washing your hands with gloves on.

According to the CDC, persons aged 50 years and older accounted for:


- 19% of all AIDS diagnoses
- 29% of persons living with AIDS
- 35% of all deaths of persons with AIDS

Those figures are from 2005, so they may be higher now...


Interesting, no?
 
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