Dating Multiple Partners & Sex


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parakeetjordan is offline parakeetjordan Post #1  August 23,2009, 7:31am
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I really like this new internet dating thing because it allows me to find compatible people to date faster than I would on my own, and I like the idea of dating multiple people at a time until I find the right one; however, I am at heart a very conservative person with respect to sex. I don't feel comfortable sleeping with more than one person at once, and I always prefer to wait until there is some emotional connection/relationship before I will have sex. I think this makes it harder to date multiple partners because I started dating each of the partners at a different time. If I started dating X two months ago, and we are now at a point where I want to have sex with him, but I started dating Y one month ago and we are not yet at that point, but I like him a lot, and then I just started dating Z a week ago and he is a good prospect as well, but we are nowhere near that point, I don't feel comfortable sleeping with X and dating Y and Z, but what do I tell X? If I wait too long, I will lose X.
 
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IcecreamMoon is offline IcecreamMoon Post #2  August 23,2009, 7:37am
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I was going to say something else, but then the moderators would never release that out of their greedy claws

But have you considered cybersex, strictly in alphabetical order of course. And no, I don't think you are getting ahead of yourself at all - not with all those Xs, Ys & Zs all wanting to have sex with you at the same time.

Getting any ideas about the subject of my original unmoderated thoughts yet?
 
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simplemind is offline simplemind Post #3  August 23,2009, 7:39am
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Hope this answers the age-old question (insert other gender, as you deem appropriate...)


Lovin' Spoonful
Did you Ever Have to Make up your Mind Lyrics:
Did you ever have to make up your mind?
And pick up on one and leave the other behind?
It's not often easy and not often kind.
Did you ever have to make up your mind?

Did you ever have to finally decide?
And say yes to one and let the other one ride?
There's so many changes and tears you must hide.
Did you ever have to finally decide?

Sometimes there's one with big blue eyes, cute as a bunny,
With hair down to here, and plenty of money,
And just when you think she's that one in the world,
Your heart gets stolen by some mousy little girl,

And then you know you'd better make up your mind.
And pick up on one and leave the other behind.
It's not often easy and not often kind.
Did you ever have to make up your mind?


Sometimes you really dig a girl the moment you kiss her,
And then you get distracted by her older sister.
When in walks her father and takes you in line,
And says, "Better go on home, son, and make up your mind."

And then you bet you'd better finally decide.
And say yes to one and let the other one ride.
There's so many changes and tears you must hide.
Did you ever have to finally decide?
 
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jerzee is offline jerzee Post #4  August 23,2009, 7:44am
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I don't think you have developed a strong emotional connection with either X or Y if you are now dating Z as well. Sex shouldn't come into the picture until you are dating one person exclusively. If you lose them because you waiting too long for sex, they weren't the one for you.

Have fun and keep your pants on!
 
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boccabum is offline boccabum Post #5  August 23,2009, 7:44am
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I don't understand your conundrum. If you like X enough to start having sex with him and you don't have sex with multiple partners, then wouldn't you drop Y & Z?
It sounds like you want to keep Y & Z around as backup guys. You can:
1. Drop Y & Z and stay true to the values you posted above
2. Keep them as backup guys.
 
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waypoint_finder is offline waypoint_finder Post #6  August 23,2009, 7:50am

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I think you should stop internet dating. You're doing nothing but giving guys out there false hopes.

Also, if you're dating several guys at the same time... then what you're really doing is cheating on someone.
 
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boccabum is offline boccabum Post #7  August 23,2009, 8:01am
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waypoint_finder wrote :
I think you should stop internet dating. You're doing nothing but giving guys out there false hopes.

Also, if you're dating several guys at the same time... then what you're really doing is cheating on someone.
Well, I wouldn't go that far. I assume that any woman I casually date is dating other men. So unless we came to an agreement of being exclusive, there's no cheating. And any woman who isn't my girlfriend is free to to have sex with whoever she wants. It's none of my business.
But the OP is a sex-with-one-guy kinda gal.
Her real question is if it's OK to have sex with X but still date Y & Z. It's no-one's business who she's having sex with until she enters into an exclusive agreement with Mr. X.
 
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TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #8  August 23,2009, 8:12am
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parakeetjordan wrote :
I don't feel comfortable sleeping with more than one person at once, and I always prefer to wait until there is some emotional connection/relationship before I will have sex.
Umm...yeah, I'd say that's a wise choice.
 
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waypoint_finder is offline waypoint_finder Post #9  August 23,2009, 8:29am

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boccabum wrote :
Well, I wouldn't go that far. I assume that any woman I casually date is dating other men. So unless we came to an agreement of being exclusive, there's no cheating. And any woman who isn't my girlfriend is free to to have sex with whoever she wants. It's none of my business.
But the OP is a sex-with-one-guy kinda gal.
Her real question is if it's OK to have sex with X but still date Y & Z. It's no-one's business who she's having sex with until she enters into an exclusive agreement with Mr. X.
Since Y & Z are both dating her, its reasonable to assume that both Y & Z are not aware of the other. Nor are they aware of X.

How do you think X, Y & Z would feel if they found out that the OP was having sex with only one of them? Do you think they would stick around or continue pursuing the OP?

X, Y & Z all got played for chumps. All this time that they have been giving her attention (phone calls, txt msgs, email etc), spending money on her for dinners, movies etc, she's been having sex with someone else.
 
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waypoint_finder is offline waypoint_finder Post #10  August 23,2009, 8:39am

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To the OP:

I just saw your other post where you were worried about online matches cheating due to the avalibility of dates.

Umm... aren't you doing the samething?
 
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