Couple of Weeks of Emails Versus a Few Months


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parakeetjordan is offline parakeetjordan Post #1  August 22,2009, 11:01am
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Should a first date with someone one has been emailing with for just a couple of weeks or even a couple of days be planned any differently than a date with someone that one has been emailing with for three or four months prior to meeting? The latter feels more like a relationship already, whereas the former seems like a regular blind date. Should one allot more time to the date with the person that one has been emailing for 3 or 4 months because of all the time invested one has already invested in the situation?
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #2  August 22,2009, 11:10am
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In my view, the only reason to spend several months e-mailing is that you have a distance issue to deal with. I do agree that the longer the distance is between you, the more time you should spend together each time you meet.
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #3  August 22,2009, 1:05pm
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parakeetjordan wrote :
The latter feels more like a relationship already, whereas the former seems like a regular blind date. Should one allot more time to the date with the person that one has been emailing for 3 or 4 months because of all the time invested one has already invested in the situation?
That's part of the problem. It may feel almost like a relationship already...but it isn't.

+1 to what D_Lion said....spending several months emailing someone without meeting is a no-go.
 
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Mainah64 is offline Mainah64 Post #4  August 22,2009, 1:48pm
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I find that the more time spent sending emails, texts, and talking on the phone, the greater chance for unrealistic expectations, presumptions, and relegation to the friend category.

I wouldn't wait 3 months. I would allot more time for a meeting if considerable distance or scheduling difficulties are involved.
 
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last12C is offline last12C Post #5  August 22,2009, 3:02pm
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I agree, the longer you email prior to meeting, the more time you have to create a fantasy image in your head. By the time you meet face to face you're already in a relationship with someone else and you shouldn't even be dating.
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grneydldy is offline grneydldy Post #6  August 22,2009, 3:26pm
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Meet as soon as possible; otherwise, you may find yourself 'attracted' to someone with whom you have no chemistry and will then have to end the 'relationship' before it even begins.
 
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parakeetjordan is offline parakeetjordan Post #7  August 22,2009, 6:16pm
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I know, but this guy had to go away for work for a while and we met online just before he left. When he returns, we will be meeting for the first time after three or four months of emailing. What kind of date should I plan for this? I asked him where we should go and he asked me to choose. Would it be insulting to just go for drinks with a guy that I've invested so much time corresponding with? It doesn't seem right somehow. Help!
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #8  August 22,2009, 6:57pm
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[quote=D_Lion;717750]In my view, the only reason to spend several months e-mailing is that you have a distance issue to deal with. I do agree that the longer the distance is between you, the more time you should spend together each time you meet.
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #9  August 22,2009, 6:59pm
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parakeetjordan wrote :
Should a first date with someone one has been emailing with for just a couple of weeks or even a couple of days be planned any differently than a date with someone that one has been emailing with for three or four months prior to meeting? The latter feels more like a relationship already, whereas the former seems like a regular blind date. Should one allot more time to the date with the person that one has been emailing for 3 or 4 months because of all the time invested one has already invested in the situation?
Until you meet in person the only relationship you have is a fantasy relationship.
 
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