Your own little secret, or do you tell everyone?


Reply
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Ladyjuju is offline Ladyjuju Post #41  August 22,2009, 12:26pm
Ladyjuju's Avatar

......Coffee, Chocolate, Men..some things are just better Rich!

Unregistered

Joined: Aug 2009

The Great White North

Posts: 258

See profile

MelinCali wrote :
I agree with BFC here.

What exactly would her family not be agreeing with or supporting anyway? The relationship? They would wish for their daughter (that they supposedly love) the unhappiness and misery of breaking up a loving relationship with a man because of how she met him? That makes no sense to me and sounds like dysfunctional family behavior. Why would anyone adjust their behavior to that as the acceptable way to lead their lives?

Would they wish for their daughter to stop using online dating? Problem solved with the current relationship! They should be over the moon. I know my family would be if I was happy and in love.
Your obviously young, and to you and the way you have been brought up in this day and age of the internet, I can understand your point of view. However, there are some of us here that are a few years older... a little bit!.. and have elderly parents that have no concept of what the internet is, only what disasters they read in the paper! My Mom could and would never understand this, she is 89 bright as a whip, has all her marbles, but thinks differently about a lot of things. There is an old expression that you cannot change a Zebra's stripes and this is true when it comes to my Mom. I would never in a million years tell her where I met my boyfriend, ( when I have one!). And the reason why is because it is out of the respect and love I have for her. I would never ever intentionally hurt my mother. And I know this would hurt her, so there you go, I will tell a little white lie, that won't hurt anyone!
 
  Reply With Quote
shoopthedoop is offline shoopthedoop Post #42  August 22,2009, 2:38pm
shoopthedoop's Avatar

is happy with the way things are going!

Enthusiast

Joined: Jul 2009

Edmonton

Posts: 915

See profile

If asked I tell people eH.

Depending on who asks I sometimes follow it up with a jackass "What I'm supposed to go to (random meat market) and hang out every weekend?"

My brother knows I met my gf on eH. He didn't seem to have a problem with it.
 
  Reply With Quote
Shelby is offline Shelby Post #43  August 22,2009, 4:26pm
Shelby's Avatar

said what she meant; meant what she said.

Veteran

Joined: Nov 2007

California

Posts: 1,883

See profile

Certain members of my family know that I've been doing online dating, and they're cool with it.

Other family members (the more conservative religious ones) don't know, because they would have issues, and I believe they would be more judgmental.

Friends at work and my other friends are really intrigued about my online dating adventures and keep telling me to write a blog!
 
  Reply With Quote
CreolePrincess is offline CreolePrincess Post #44  August 22,2009, 4:37pm
CreolePrinces…'s Avatar

It is so complicated, ya'll, and it doesn't even have to be.

Virtuoso

Joined: May 2009

The Dirty South

Posts: 2,575

See profile

I think maybe 10 years ago, the attitude would have been more "don't tell". But online is more acceptable, and I think becoming more the trend, especially for people who have jobs that make it difficult for them to meet people the traditional way. So, I wouldn't have a problem with telling.
 
  Reply With Quote
D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #45  August 22,2009, 4:41pm
D_Lion's Avatar

- Ladies want to wring my neck - you have been warned!

Sage

Joined: Aug 2008

Posts: 31,659

See profile

Ladyjuju wrote :
Your obviously young, and to you and the way you have been brought up in this day and age of the internet, I can understand your point of view. However, there are some of us here that are a few years older... a little bit!.. and have elderly parents that have no concept of what the internet is, only what disasters they read in the paper! My Mom could and would never understand this, she is 89 bright as a whip, has all her marbles, but thinks differently about a lot of things. There is an old expression that you cannot change a Zebra's stripes and this is true when it comes to my Mom. I would never in a million years tell her where I met my boyfriend, ( when I have one!). And the reason why is because it is out of the respect and love I have for her. I would never ever intentionally hurt my mother. And I know this would hurt her, so there you go, I will tell a little white lie, that won't hurt anyone!

Okay ...

Say you and I are dating (hold the jokes, please), and we are at dear Mom's house for some christmas dinner or something, and I say "we found each other online."

How do you respond, now that the truth is on the table?
 
  Reply With Quote
MelinCali is offline MelinCali Post #46  August 22,2009, 4:42pm
MelinCali's Avatar

is moving!

Power Poster

Joined: Nov 2008

Earth

Posts: 8,113

See profile

Ladyjuju wrote :
Your obviously young, and to you and the way you have been brought up in this day and age of the internet, I can understand your point of view. However, there are some of us here that are a few years older... a little bit!.. and have elderly parents that have no concept of what the internet is, only what disasters they read in the paper! My Mom could and would never understand this, she is 89 bright as a whip, has all her marbles, but thinks differently about a lot of things. There is an old expression that you cannot change a Zebra's stripes and this is true when it comes to my Mom. I would never in a million years tell her where I met my boyfriend, ( when I have one!). And the reason why is because it is out of the respect and love I have for her. I would never ever intentionally hurt my mother. And I know this would hurt her, so there you go, I will tell a little white lie, that won't hurt anyone!
LOL! I am obviously young? I will be 40 next year, so I was not brought up with the internet--it pretty much got going around about the time I got married. I am new to the concept on online dating since my divorce, and all of my friends are pretty much happily coupled off and didn't go through this either (because of our age).

I would think it would be more hurtful to my mother for me to lie to her than for her to share the story of how I met my love! That is my opinion and point of view (not the point of view you came to think with your assumptions of my being young). I can trust my mother to be supportive of the choices I make in life and to listen--if she was concerned about the dangers of online dating, she would hear the other side of the story that doesn't make the 11 o'clock news.

If your mother would be so hurt by this, and you told her that you knew she wouldn't have approved but you couldn't lie to her, I would hope that she would at least respect you for your honesty. If you have the boyfriend already and are happy, what is the issue with how you met? I don't get it!
 
  Reply With Quote
MelinCali is offline MelinCali Post #47  August 22,2009, 4:43pm
MelinCali's Avatar

is moving!

Power Poster

Joined: Nov 2008

Earth

Posts: 8,113

See profile

Shelby wrote :
Certain members of my family know that I've been doing online dating, and they're cool with it.

Other family members (the more conservative religious ones) don't know, because they would have issues, and I believe they would be more judgmental.

Friends at work and my other friends are really intrigued about my online dating adventures and keep telling me to write a blog!
I have a friend at work that is also intrigued and now that I've met people through eHA, I think she is a bit jealous of the fun I'm having! LOL!
 
  Reply With Quote
BuzWeaver is offline BuzWeaver Post #48  August 22,2009, 6:12pm
BuzWeaver's Avatar

Researching the cure for liberalism

Veteran

Joined: Mar 2008

Atlanta

Posts: 1,412

See profile

I can remember in the not so distant past that meeting anyone online was considered very Taboo.
 
  Reply With Quote
Spider is offline Spider Post #49  August 22,2009, 6:41pm
Spider's Avatar

got 174 new students this year

Veteran

Joined: Nov 2007

Posts: 1,919

See profile

Ladyjuju wrote :
Your obviously young, and to you and the way you have been brought up in this day and age of the internet, I can understand your point of view. However, there are some of us here that are a few years older... a little bit!.. and have elderly parents that have no concept of what the internet is, only what disasters they read in the paper! My Mom could and would never understand this, she is 89 bright as a whip, has all her marbles, but thinks differently about a lot of things. There is an old expression that you cannot change a Zebra's stripes and this is true when it comes to my Mom. I would never in a million years tell her where I met my boyfriend, ( when I have one!). And the reason why is because it is out of the respect and love I have for her. I would never ever intentionally hurt my mother. And I know this would hurt her, so there you go, I will tell a little white lie, that won't hurt anyone!

I think your "you are obviously young" reads rather condescendingly, but beyond that, our parents know a lot more about life than we like to think. (much as youngsters know a lot more than we expect them to).

My folks are in their late seventies/early eighties, and sure, they had some hesitations about online dating, as I indicated in my first response. But once they'd met my sweetie, they opened their hearts so quickly it surprised me. We see them regularly for dinner (went out tonight), and the Sweetie and my dad had their usual arm-wrestling for the check. Fun stuff! So, these two Zebras did change their stripes. They trust their children and grandchildren, and they adapt.

I think it helps (with both friends and family) to have met through eHarmony, as it has the reputation of being a screening process and not the free-for-all that other sites can be.

Moms are a lot tougher than we give them credit for. Of course, if your mom is really that emotionally fragile and you are afraid of an extreme reaction, then lying to her is one approach. But don't dismiss her ability to learn and accept new things just because she's in her eighties.
 
  Reply With Quote
SierraMountainAir is offline SierraMountainAir Post #50  August 22,2009, 9:37pm
SierraMountai…'s Avatar

The Doctor just called. Your test results are in.

Power Poster

Joined: Apr 2008

California, but NORTHERN California

Posts: 6,025

See profile

D_Lion wrote :
Okay ...

Say you and I are dating (hold the jokes, please)

Sorry can't hold 'em. You are a too much of what is called a "target rich opportunity"
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply


« When a married man says divorced in profile | Dating | Am I too judgmental? »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
The secret game coffeegeek AAA Completely Stupid Conversations 1311 September 26,2009 12:00pm
Mindy Weiss and The Secret to Finding The Love of Your Life roguewolf1 Dating 1 August 11,2009 3:55am
I found Vap's Secret Hideaway!! mermaid2244 AAA Completely Stupid Conversations 71 August 6,2009 11:02am
Deadly Secrets Mr. Nice Guy About You 30 June 5,2009 7:10pm

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“I do still eat and drink the things I shouldn't sometimes. I'd stop if I needed an Epi-Pen but none of my allergies are severe enough for that yet. I feel for you, Legend.” –  harnomygirl

Join the “Living Without....” discussion

“No, this is the ONE, with the Domestic Man among men that I hunger for... New Twist Like the great philosopher Dr. Phil says, "When momma's happy, everyone's happy".” –  tweet37

Join the “What kind of add you see on this board?” discussion

“I think you are projecting that if you are the one paying for the first few dates that the woman is a "pay to play" woman and if you were to marry her she would be so irresponsible that you'd be ... ” –  harnomygirl

Join the “who pays?” discussion

“That's disappointing. You've gotten a lot of tips about changing your settings and I hope it pays off when you do.” –  harnomygirl

Join the “Different Strategy” discussion

“ Happy Faraday, Birth... um I mean... Happy Birthday, Fara. I blame harnomygirl... typing her name messes with your mind.” –  dmi

Join the “The End Maybe Coming” discussion

“I thought she took the safer route and met him here first. Now that she knows he's fun, they'll throw caution to the wind, but gently.” –  harnomygirl

Join the “a match wants to meet me in a foreign country” discussion

“ I wouldn't be so sure he was ready (the way you mean it) with this new girl. He was calling you testing the waters while seeing her, right? This may just be how he is in relationships- this may ... ” –  FairOne

Join the “Reuniting with EX” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 7:13am.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0