Love songs: bad for Love?


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eHA_Admin_Lori is offline eHA_Admin_Lori — Advice Official Moderator Post #1  August 21,2009, 3:36pm
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My one wish for you, is love. :)

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I've wondered this for a while now and just thought to post and ask your opinions.

I've always been a huge music fan and have a soft spot for a good love song. But, some of the songs, in my mind, portray unhealthy relationships and should hardly be "celebrated" in song.

Case in point:

How Do I Live by Leann Rimes

HUGE hit, still gets lots of airplay. Now, I love this song, but really:

"How do I live without you?
I want to know,
How do I breathe without you?
If you ever go,
how would I ever, ever survive?"

You can hear the song and read the lyrics on this version:
YouTube - How do I live :: w/ Lyrics

~~~~

So now, to my actual question. Does the way of thinking portrayed in so many love songs HURT relationships? Does it encourage folks - particularly younger people - to think about relationships in unhealthy terms?

Or not?

What do YOU think?
Last edited by eHA_Admin_Lori; August 21,2009 at 3:41pm.
 
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eHA_Admin_Lori is offline eHA_Admin_Lori — Advice Official Moderator Post #2  September 17,2009, 1:35pm
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My one wish for you, is love. :)

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No one replied to this topic over in the Music Forum :'( so I'm moving it to dating because I'm really curious to see what the Advicers thing about this topic!
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #3  September 17,2009, 1:42pm
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...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

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"How do I live without you?
I want to know,
How do I breathe without you?
If you ever go,
how would I ever, ever survive?"

These types of song lyrics also seem consistent with a lot of the romantic images portrayed in movies. One thing is....if this actually is someone's attitude about love and how they feel I think it's likely that they won't be able to stand up for themselves and may very well end up being taken advantage of. That said....I might very well sing this kind of song to a woman while on a date. ; )
 
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BikerBeagle is offline BikerBeagle Post #4  September 17,2009, 2:00pm
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thinks everyone should just ask themselves, WWBBD?

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I think some music lyrics do raise a lot of expectations - unrealistic expectations - of what "love" and "relationships" should be like ...but probably no more or less than what we see constantly in movies.

...but, you know what? ...I say "so what!". I've loved like that before and I'll - hopefully - love like that again. I've lived through heartbreak like that before and I'll - hopefully not have to - live through it again.
 
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stevex is offline stevex Post #5  September 17,2009, 2:14pm
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I would agree that some people do hear some love songs and take things to a point that could be unhealthy. I never have done that, I guess I have always been very logical. However, I have known people who had very unhealthy expectations about their love life and it wouldn't surprise me if they were influenced by movies or music or even crappy romance novels. But a lot of the songs are still good and I think of them like any piece of art, just that.
 
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brneyedangel is offline brneyedangel Post #6  September 17,2009, 2:18pm
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would very much appreciate it if the rain would stop, now! Thanks!

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eHA_Admin_Lori wrote :

*snip*
~~~~

So now, to my actual question. Does the way of thinking portrayed in so many love songs HURT relationships? Does it encourage folks - particularly younger people - to think about relationships in unhealthy terms?

Or not?

What do YOU think?
I don't really think it hurts actual relationships or ways of thinking about relationships in adults or young people as they are occurring. I can't think of a time when my students ever said, "But it didn't work out like the song (or the movie)," when they broke up with their girlfriend/boyfriend.

I do notice, though, that this is the type of song they will listen to after the relationship is over, particularly teenage girls. When I ask them why, they usually say they don't know why they listen to these kinds of songs, but it makes them feel better. It's a kind of release for them, but I don't necessarily think it's a healthy one; if it goes on for too long, I've seen it cause some of them to dwell on the negative and to eventually put themselves down to the point where they don't bounce back, and that's just never good for anyone. But with anything, it's about how seriously a person takes it and how much meaning is invested in it that will determine its impact.
 
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MCMLXXII is offline MCMLXXII Post #7  September 17,2009, 2:19pm
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Ha ha! Thank you Sting and The Police.

If a loon took this song literally, this may be bad for love.

Every breath you take
Every move you make
Every bond you break, every step you take
I'll be watching you

Every single day
Every word you say
Every game you play, every night you stay
I'll be watching you
 
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Mr_Right is offline Mr_Right Post #8  September 17,2009, 4:41pm
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says this is the best wedding picture!

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Lori: You know Dating is the most active forum anyway.
 
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CapnCrunch23 is offline CapnCrunch23 Post #9  September 17,2009, 4:55pm

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MCMLXXII wrote :
Ha ha! Thank you Sting and The Police.

If a loon took this song literally, this may be bad for love.

Every breath you take
Every move you make
Every bond you break, every step you take
I'll be watching you

Every single day
Every word you say
Every game you play, every night you stay
I'll be watching you
This is one of the most misinterpreted songs ever. It is about an obsessive stalker, but it sounds like a love song : songfacts
 
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LizziePooh is offline LizziePooh Post #10  September 17,2009, 4:57pm

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Mr_Right wrote :
Lori: You know Dating is the most active forum anyway.

lol!!! I am waiting for the "moved" to show up.

***

But very interesting, Lori. When you do think about the lyrics they don't really seem like they would be healthy - like "I'll be watching you" lol!! - but there is just something about music that can just resonate with you and the music can speak to your heart like nothing else could do.

I will find that at different stages of my romantic life, different songs will sing to me and it just seems that they just know what I am thinking. Maybe that is why singers are always hawt even when they are not?! lol!!
 
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