cottoncandy00 is offline cottoncandy00 Post #11  August 20,2009, 10:20am
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cottoncandy do not want update her status,,,,,

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eHA_Admin_Lori wrote :
I have been told (usually by female friends of mine) that I should "withold" more in relationships, especially as they are in the very beginning stages.

Meaning: don't call him when you want to talk to him. Don't let him know that you're happy to hear from him when he calls. Don't let him know that you want to see him. Etc.

I have to say, I hate that. I am who I am. I'm not going to pretend to be bored or disinterested if I'm not. If someone can't handle that I like him and want to see him.....NEXT!
i agree,,, but have u ever called him middle of the work day, just because you wanted to hear his voice, and wanted to do some chitchat, just because,,, Oh, Boy,,,, he gets pissed!!! trust me on this...
 
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Ms666 is offline Ms666 Post #12  August 20,2009, 10:25am
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Eh, well things just got derailed and I never got much back in contact with them.
Of all the things I lost in past relationships, I miss my tricked-out Xbox 360. The ex has that. *sigh*
 
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flowerchild66 is offline flowerchild66 Post #13  August 20,2009, 11:10am
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FWIW, my stuff is also held hostage after a break up. I return men's things immediately but they play games, claiming to have "lost" my things (within the drawer they were stored, lol), "forgetting" to mail them, denying my things are there, not acknowledging they should be returned, etc.

I figured out that withholding things is just a way to have a reason to reestablish communication when they get the urge. After asking a time or two, I just let it go for my own sanity. Now I refuse to leave any trace of me behind.
 
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kevin76 is offline kevin76 Post #14  August 20,2009, 11:10am
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Harvey7 wrote :
From everyone else, don't try and impose your outdated moral values on others, believe what you want, but don't judge other by your values.

Harvey7,
Honestly, isn't the idea that "you shouldn't impose your values on others" itself a moral judgment? You personally believe it is 'wrong'
in some way to tell others to follow your personal values, but in saying so you are in fact imposing your moral values on others, telling them they should act in a way you believe is right.

****Added in Edit
Besides, how does anybody ever make decisions about anything, other than by using their own values? Your values are the only standard you really have. He is judging her by his values, and you are judging him by yours...
****End Edit

Ms666: Sorry for the threadjack, I just find it ironic when people tell others it is wrong to tell others what they're doing is wrong... not trying to be rude or start a flame war, I'm just personally amused by it.
Besides, nobody yet has actually shared any stories, we've just all talked about yours.

Come on, people - share your own stories so we can criti.. I mean, discuss your experiences.
Last edited by kevin76; August 20,2009 at 11:22am. Reason: Added an afterthought
 
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RebornInFire is offline RebornInFire Post #15  August 20,2009, 11:34am
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eHA_Admin_Lori wrote :
I have been told (usually by female friends of mine) that I should "withold" more in relationships, especially as they are in the very beginning stages.

Meaning: don't call him when you want to talk to him. Don't let him know that you're happy to hear from him when he calls. Don't let him know that you want to see him. Etc.

I have to say, I hate that. I am who I am. I'm not going to pretend to be bored or disinterested if I'm not. If someone can't handle that I like him and want to see him.....NEXT!
Wow...you mean all these women who seem so disinterested in me that I stopped giving them the time of day may have been interested and just following this advice? These friends...were they single? I bet they were very good at staying single too.
 
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WoolyOrl is offline WoolyOrl Post #16  August 20,2009, 11:46am
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Ms666 wrote :
I know all of us (especially here ) are bombarded with a lot of advice on dating and relationships. Have you ever read a dating article or taken some advice from a friend that seemed reasonable at the time and had it seriously backfire on you?

I'll share one of mine: I once read an article in Cosmopolitan (yes I realize I got my just desserts for taking anything seriously in Cosmo )
But the article said that when you stay over at a guy's place, to 'accidentally' leave behind something small of yours as a memento. Not your toothbrush or a box of tampons, mind you. Just a small delicate piece of jewelry so he will find it and think of you.
Doesn't seem too bad, right? Well, I tried that twice and ended up just losing two pieces of jewelry!! Plus, though I had been seeing these guys for a while, and it wasn't the first time I'd ahem 'stayed over', both of those times ended up being the last time I saw them... I want my jewelry back!
I hear you - I lost a perfectly good Fossil watch this way, and about 6 months later a cell phone (neither of which I ever got back). The watch I did on purpose, the phone was a total screw-up.

Here's the kicker - her number was only on the darn phone, and I didn't remember her address (or even her sub-development) once I got home and figured out my phone wasn't with me.

Tried calling it, but no answer. So... crud. And she never called me back so... maybe she just wanted my crappy Nokia phone?
 
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AsianFusion is offline AsianFusion Post #17  August 20,2009, 11:53am
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Note to self . . . buy cheap, disposable jewelry.
Last edited by AsianFusion; August 20,2009 at 11:59am.
 
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KiskaKitty is offline KiskaKitty Post #18  August 20,2009, 12:37pm
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kevin76 wrote :
Besides, nobody yet has actually shared any stories, we've just all talked about yours.

Come on, people - share your own stories so we can criti.. I mean, discuss your experiences.
Maybe we're all just an exceptionally bright group...or too embarrassed to share. (Not me though, I do stupid pretty well on my own, I don't need any advice to help me out )

On Cosmo - Hey they have some great advice though too! My BF certainly had a good time last weekend thanks to Cosmo. (Ok he has a good time every time we get together, but this time more so )
 
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eHA_Admin_Lori is offline eHA_Admin_Lori — Advice Official Moderator Post #19  August 20,2009, 12:59pm
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cottoncandy00 wrote :
i agree,,, but have u ever called him middle of the work day, just because you wanted to hear his voice, and wanted to do some chitchat, just because,,, Oh, Boy,,,, he gets pissed!!! trust me on this...
Nope - I barely have time in the workday to get half my work done - no time for social phone calls!
 
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Wiseman2 is online now Wiseman2 Post #20  August 20,2009, 1:01pm
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Wow, they must have been bad.........hope it's not expensive jewelry....

Agree ...really, really stupid "advice".
If a guy needs a reminder that he was with you....what does that say about him.......or..you.....
Ms666 wrote :
I am fully prepared for the implications of bringing sex into a relationship. I'm a grown girl, I can handle it.
It's not the loss of the guy that bothers me, just the jewelry.
 
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