Some Tips and Opinions Please


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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #11  August 20,2009, 10:29am
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Hmmm....I don't even know how to put this.... A diet of all syrup will make one ill. The way that you've described yourself is all syrup. It's really a definition of a saint and I'm pretty sure you are just a flawed human. Meaning that you probably trade raunchy jokes with the other firefighters and are selfish on occassion and do other things that are not necessarily for the pure benefit of mankind. What I'm getting at is that perhaps you are not all pure syrup and that's actually a good thing.

If you are trying to present yourself to a woman you are interested in the same way that you wrote your post....well....therein lies your problem. It's one dimensional, it's too syrupy and instead of making you look like an interesting and caring person comes across as too unbelievable to be true. Also, a certain type of woman would see that as doormat potential and is liable to take advantage of you in ways you don't want.

So, don't try to be a saint - be human. Have opinions, have a plan, make decisions. If you are taking a girl out on a date, ask her what she likes, but then make the decisions and plan the date. If you disagree with what she is saying - let her know - do not just agree with everything she says. As far as conversation goes - before you go on a date, think about some topics you can talk about. There have to be some interesting things you encounter at work. There have to be some humorous events you have come across that you can tell her about. If you pick a topic that you are discussing ask for her input and what her opinion on the subject is. If there are some hobbies or things in general that interest you - talk about them. You can actually think about all this ahead of time. Keep your first dates short.

Also, if sitting across from each other making conversation for an hour is too difficult, go do an activity date - go bowling, go play mini golf, go do something that will break up the monotony of just staring at each other and talking. It may also help you relax and let your more outgoing personality come out. Remember, just like you are not interested in a boring nice girl, women are not interested in a boring nice guy - it's boring both ways.
 
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gothustartus is offline gothustartus Post #12  August 20,2009, 10:31am
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Are you sure you're just being a little shy and holding back and not holding them at arms length or actually pushing them away? If your last few relationships ended with you being cheated on it would be easy to see the latter happening.
Minus a blow by blow account of each date it would be very difficult to say what's going wrong, but i wouldn't rule out a bad vibe putting the kibosh on chemistry. In my experience that tends to be the case more often than not.
 
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