When is it OK to ask someone out again?


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MarkInAustin is offline MarkInAustin Post #1  August 19,2009, 4:02pm
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I've read a lot of posts where a woman says that after some guy asked her out several times, she agreed to go out with him. I've always assumed that no means no, and that I won't get a second chance, so I have never tried.

So, my question is when is it OK to ask a woman out again after she has already said no? Also, does your answer change if she says "no" vs. "I'm kind of busy these days" (or some other weasel words)?

Are there women out there who deliberately put up a challenge and always say no the first time just to see if you will be persistent?
 
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grneydldy is offline grneydldy Post #2  August 19,2009, 4:10pm
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I can't speak for other women, but if I say, "No" then I mean no.
 
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DancingFool is online now DancingFool Post #3  August 19,2009, 4:18pm
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Yes, there are women like that out there who play those kinds of games - they are roughly 16 years old. After high school, it's safe to say that the absolute grand majority of women really truly mean no when they say no.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #4  August 19,2009, 4:28pm
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If I was told "No" then I move on and will not ask that girl out again. If she says no with a reason and offers another time or place then that is not a definite no and she has left the door open to be asked out again.

Just my $.02 with my standard disclaimer that I don't know anything about anything.
 
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LizziePooh is offline LizziePooh Post #5  August 19,2009, 5:00pm

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Sometimes persistence pays off. I have gone out with guys that I initially said no to but they have continued to pursue.

It does not mean I like the chase. It just means at the time, they weren't someone I thought of dating. But once they asked, I may for the first time see them as a potential partner. It just wasn't something I considered before.

Not with every no but it has happened.
 
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boccabum is offline boccabum Post #6  August 19,2009, 5:19pm
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Since there is no shortage of single women to date, if one of them says no then that's where it ends. I see no purpose or advantage to trying to convince someone who's already rejected you to change their mind. And if she does, how would you feel? You would have "worn" her down. Pleaded and begged for a date. If she wasn't attracted to you the first time, she's not attracted to you now.
I'd rather go out with someone who's attracted to me from the start and not feel like I had to convince her to spend time with me.
 
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simplemind is offline simplemind Post #7  August 19,2009, 5:27pm
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I get .... "seriously annoyed" when someone doesn't take me at my word.

If I say "no", and he keeps asking, I believe he isn't listening.

If I say "yes", I don't mean "maybe".

Maybe I'm just blonde, huh?
 
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brneyedangel is offline brneyedangel Post #8  August 19,2009, 6:16pm
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If I say no, I mean no. If I was busy, then I'd say I was busy and I'd offer up another date and time as an alternative. I don't play games, and I don't like it when a man decides he's going to persist after I've said no. If this does happen, I get annoyed due to the complete lack of respect for me and my original answer of no. He's not going to change my mind; if anything, persisting will only reinforce my decision, and will more than likely result in a less than courteous dose of attitude from me.
 
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Mainah64 is offline Mainah64 Post #9  August 19,2009, 6:52pm
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simplemind wrote :
I get .... "seriously annoyed" when someone doesn't take me at my word.

If I say "no", and he keeps asking, I believe he isn't listening.

If I say "yes", I don't mean "maybe".

Maybe I'm just blonde, huh?
How does one get you to say yes?
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #10  August 19,2009, 7:01pm
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MarkInAustin wrote :
I've read a lot of posts where a woman says that after some guy asked her out several times, she agreed to go out with him. I've always assumed that no means no, and that I won't get a second chance, so I have never tried.

So, my question is when is it OK to ask a woman out again after she has already said no? Also, does your answer change if she says "no" vs. "I'm kind of busy these days" (or some other weasel words)?

Are there women out there who deliberately put up a challenge and always say no the first time just to see if you will be persistent?


If someone approached me and asked me out and I said "no" then I would fully expect them to take no for an answer.


 
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