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gothustartus gothustartus is offline
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If it were a flat no then i wouldn't ask again, what would be the point other than masochism?
If the no were qualified with extenuating circumstances like too busy or not ready to date at the moment then i might ask again, it would depend on how polite the refusal was in the first place.
- August 19th, 2009, 10:28 pm
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Mangosteen Mangosteen is offline
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For me no is no also. If I changed my mind in the future, I would contact at that point, rather than waiting to be re-contacted.

I do see Lizzie's point, but that has not happened to me.
- August 19th, 2009, 11:44 pm
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Oregon_Coast_Guy Oregon_Coast_Guy is offline
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LizziePooh wrote :
Sometimes persistence pays off. I have gone out with guys that I initially said no to but they have continued to pursue.

It does not mean I like the chase. It just means at the time, they weren't someone I thought of dating. But once they asked, I may for the first time see them as a potential partner. It just wasn't something I considered before.

Not with every no but it has happened.
So Mark, at this point, only 1 of the 7 women who have answered so far like persistence. It's just safer to play the odds and take no as an answer only once.
- August 20th, 2009, 02:17 am
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tom1385 tom1385 is offline
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Depends on your age range.

For us youngin's -

If they say no, and they are giggling or a bit shy - try again in a minute after chatting them up or making them laugh a few more times.

If they say no, and they are rude or stuck up about it, try again in a minute after chatting them up or making them laugh a few more times.

If you are asking too early, they are probably saying "no" because you don't have enough rapport or physical attraction for them. Try to build some rapport - if they still say no, it is the physical attraction.

Basically, you have to act like you are everything they want, if they say no, try to chat them, make them laugh a bit more and get to know them. If they say no again, it means they really aren't interested.

I don't know about ladies, but girls don't know what they want until you tell them what they want. (ugh, games)

Note: this is only for the initial meeting at some random location. If you know someone for a long time and they say no, it means they don't find you physically attractive. Some things you can't fix, unless it means going to the gym, which everyone can do.
Last edited by tom1385; August 20th, 2009 at 02:52 am.
- August 20th, 2009, 02:44 am
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Wiseman2 Wiseman2 is offline
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I would ask someone out again. Maybe they have a busy work or social schedule and just can't drop everything for a date. Also, what are they saying "no" to? " hey, want to go to the drag race tonight , then my place?" Call in advance let them pick a good time and place etc. If they say "no" to that, then there is your answer...
MarkInAustin wrote :
I've read a lot of posts where a woman says that after some guy asked her out several times, she agreed to go out with him. I've always assumed that no means no, and that I won't get a second chance, so I have never tried.
So, my question is when is it OK to ask a woman out again after she has already said no? Also, does your answer change if she says "no" vs. "I'm kind of busy these days" (or some other weasel words)?
Are there women out there who deliberately put up a challenge and always say no the first time just to see if you will be persistent?
- August 20th, 2009, 04:41 am
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Raw_Truth Raw_Truth is offline
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Never, ever go back after getting a "no."

You're better than that - don't let your self-esteem take a hit from the grovelling.; life is far too busy and there are far too many options to put up with it.
- August 20th, 2009, 08:27 am
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MarkInAustin MarkInAustin is offline
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Thanks to everybody for your advice. As I am getting to know some of the women on this board, I realize that the ones I want to go out with will be straight forward, and the ones who don't know what they want are probably not the ones I want to go out with anyway.
- August 20th, 2009, 10:39 am
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