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LatteCaramel LatteCaramel is offline
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Depending on how long the first date was, she may like you but may not have left a lasting impression. She of course may be honest when she said she was busy, but if she was into you, she would be excited to hear from you and looking forward to seeing you. My guess in this scenario and the way you communicated since your first date is that there was not enough there to keep her interested.
- August 19th, 2009, 11:21 pm
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bwr bwr is offline
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D_Lion wrote :
I consider it 98% likely she is lying to you with fake excuses to keep you available to buy her some dinners and stuff in the event that Mr. Right realizes she most certainly is not Ms. Right.

Therefore there is the tantalizing 2% chance she is truly messed up with some rare inability to remember (and simultaneously to communicate forthrightly.)

In my opinion, any cancellation must be accompanied by a precise reschedule (not an excuse – I don’t even care why.) I might let someone like this hang around, while I look for others … and these are the ones who get told where and when to meet.

I had one women like this who proved to actually be okay, and developed into a relationship … until I got bored with her lack of ambition.

I’d say your odds are not good, here.
+1. Couldn't have said it better. That seems to be the trap I have fallen into until I came to my senses and realized I was just buying free dinners for golddiggers.
- August 20th, 2009, 12:30 am
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bwr bwr is offline
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someguyoneh wrote :
I'm curious about how some people think I should respond to a girl I recently met from eharmony. We met for drinks, had good conversation, she seemed interested in meeting again as did I. I called her a day later to set up a dinner date, but to my dismay she sounded reticent on the phone claiming she needed to check her schedule before committing to anything. We agreed to meet the following Saturday (a week away), but a couple days later I get a text with her saying she forgot her parents were coming to town and she would have to cancel, but she suggested the Saturday after that. I texted back saying we should meet early next week for dinner, because I'm leaving town for work and wouldn't be back for a couple weeks, which she knew....no response. This is classic avoidance behavior used by women who are not interested, and I was fully expecting never to hear from her again, but then she sends an email through eharmony stating that if we're both still interested when I return we should get together then? I already know how i will respond to this, but I wanted to see what everyone else thinks?
Yep. I have definitely found out myself that there are many female players as well as male player, too.

Dude, you are getting played bigtime.
- August 20th, 2009, 12:34 am
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Oregon_Coast_Guy Oregon_Coast_Guy is offline
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bwr wrote :
Yep. I have definitely found out myself that there are many female players as well as male player, too.

Dude, you are getting played bigtime.
What I find disturbing is that many folks are giving him advice telling him to allow himself to get played.
- August 20th, 2009, 12:50 am
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well....most of us (I presume, I know I do) find it disturbing how quick some of you are to label someone as a gold-digging game player.

Many of us answering are women...we have no reason to lie to this stranger. Most of us can see ourselves doing the same thing. It is what it is. She is interested, or at least she was, but she is not head over heels. Rightly so, after one date.

I think some of the men here have some unresolved anger issues with women.....if I may so boldy state here.

If the answer is always "she is a gold digging game player" it just might be "you" and not all of them...

Why is it so hard to take someone at face value?

Most of us don't have a problem letting someone go... I just did so tonight. I clicked the "no thanks" button.

It was easy.

I think a lot of men actually have a problem when it comes to saying "no, I'm not interested" and are projecting their own issues with that onto this woman, and every woman, and jumping to all these game playing conclusions.
- August 20th, 2009, 01:12 am
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LizziePooh LizziePooh is offline
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Ha! Ha! cp - The quick to gold-digging thing!!! That was what I Ha! Ha!'ed earlier. lol!

Seriously guys, I am never thinking of a free meal or so I can just claim I had a date or so I can manipulate you and eventually make your life a living he!!.

I am really thinking - Gee, I really hope I like him and him me.

And I think most women (and men!) are doing the same.
- August 20th, 2009, 01:25 am
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Altair Altair is offline
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you are all talking about how it should be online. It doesn't work that way. On line dates aren't real and have no feelings apparently. If a person poofs so what? They have not binding ties with the person as they do in real life. Real life and on line dating have different rules whether you like it or not/ Get used to it or sit on EH forever. People want to keep their options open. Most of you are talking proper dating etiquette and I agree, but it is not so with on line dating. A person can have a wonderful time and be caught in the feeling of the moment on a date and then when she comes down can see that, hey, this guy was alright but didn't blow my skirt up. She is allowed to change her mind. and she may be a player. So don't play her game then and don't bother replying. Just move on.
- August 20th, 2009, 01:52 am
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Oregon_Coast_Guy Oregon_Coast_Guy is offline
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I'm just one that refuses to be Plan B. I'm not going to stick around and wait somebody out. I would not expect anyone to wait for me either. And I would not take out Plan B girl because she would probably pick up on the fact that she is Plan B.

My advice is: move on to a girl who will make you Plan A, so that way, you are each others' mutual Plan A.
- August 20th, 2009, 02:57 am
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someguyoneh someguyoneh is offline
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Theres a big difference between wanting to get to know me, and flat out just stringing me along. After all how can you ever get to know me if we never talk.
- August 20th, 2009, 04:01 am
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someguyoneh someguyoneh is offline
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Oregon_Coast_Guy wrote :
What I find disturbing is that many folks are giving him advice telling him to allow himself to get played.
Shelby wrote :
I don't interpret that her actions mean that she's blowing you off. She wanted to check her schedule before she confirmed a Saturday date with you, checked and realized her parents are in town that weekend. She didn't respond to doing dinner early on a weeknight, probably because it's a worknight. She asks you to call her when you return from your trip, so she does want to continue to hear from you.

If you keep reading rejection into every one of her actions, you are calling for the Gods of Rejection to work their magic over you. And you'll get rejected.

You've only have one date together, and she isn't gaga over you. So maybe it's not instant chemistry. And maybe she is also dating other guys. You can do that as well (with girls, I mean! ) But she still has some interest, so follow up on it. Give her a call. Take a chance. You'll never know until you try.
Shelby c'mon. When were you ever interested in a guy and gave him evasive answers over a two week period? By the way she didn't ask me to call her when I returned, she left that unclear also. She said if we're both interested when I return maybe we could get together then.
- August 20th, 2009, 04:12 am
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