BelieverinKY is offline BelieverinKY Post #1  August 19,2009, 3:26am
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I had communicated with a lady on eH a while back and reconnected with her on another site. We met last night, had a nice time, and a drink turned into dinner. We made plans to see each other this weekend. When I got home I checked a message on the other site and noticed (by her last login time) that she had jumped on the site while she was with me (while i was in the restroom). Understanding that most people (including myself) are communicating with others I was very put off by the fact that she actually did this while with me! I usually turn my phone off during a date and would never check messages on a dating site while on one. I guess my options are to never contact her again, ask her about it, or pretend I don't know. We have a lot in common and had a great time, but, I'm leaning toward option number 1. Thoughts?
 
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tweet37 is online now tweet37 Post #2  August 19,2009, 3:51am
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Dude,
It was only a first meet-up. Are you not allowed to communicate with others once you meet someone else?

Maybe her phone was off during dinner but she checked her messages while you were taking a dump.

Are you worried about competing with someone else?
 
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BelieverinKY is offline BelieverinKY Post #3  August 19,2009, 4:26am
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Not at all concerned about competing. Things have a way of working out. I have checked text messages but never got on a dating site while with someone. I took that as anohter level, of, something I guess. And, if you fully read my message I fully understand about communicating with others, before and after meeting someone.
 
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Spider is offline Spider Post #4  August 19,2009, 4:43am
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Is it possible that she was checking your profile on the site? Perhaps something in the conversation prompted her to review what you'd posted before.

Or, she could have received a message from/through the site. A lot of people do check phone messages even during meals (though it's rude, unless there's an emergency at hand).

And is the time reference on the site the same as yours? EH, for example, is three hours behind my area, so I have to adjust for that when I look at the times on the site.

Either way, I'd let it slide for now. This was just a first date, right? So there's no "relationship" at this point. See where it goes from here. If you get further indications that she's socially oblivious or even deceptive, then you have every reason to stop seeing her.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #5  August 19,2009, 4:52am
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BelieverinKY I have to agree with you that whipping out her internet ready cell phone while you are in the restroom on a date with you to check what is going on with her other matches is certainly a sign of class, all low. I can understand that one may check their matches after getting home but to do during a date really just is not proper.

If you are truly interested in this girl I think I would mention it to her in a non-confrontational manner.

If you are not all that interested then this can be your excuse to end at the first date.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #6  August 19,2009, 4:54am
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Spider wrote :
Is it possible that she was checking your profile on the site? Perhaps something in the conversation prompted her to review what you'd posted before.

Or, she could have received a message from/through the site. A lot of people do check phone messages even during meals (though it's rude, unless there's an emergency at hand).

And is the time reference on the site the same as yours? EH, for example, is three hours behind my area, so I have to adjust for that when I look at the times on the site.

Either way, I'd let it slide for now. This was just a first date, right? So there's no "relationship" at this point. See where it goes from here. If you get further indications that she's socially oblivious or even deceptive, then you have every reason to stop seeing her.
This is a possibility.
 
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Fleuellen is offline Fleuellen Post #7  August 19,2009, 4:59am
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BelieverinKY wrote :
When I got home I checked a message on the other site and noticed (by her last login time) that she had jumped on the site while she was with me ...

... Thoughts?
Yes, you checked on her. Like, I'm not sure who has the bigger problem. Maybe you'll be a perfect match?
 
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Mangosteen is offline Mangosteen Post #8  August 19,2009, 5:14am
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My opinion is that although it made you uncomfortable, you should just try to not care for now. Like others posted, she might have been checking something on your own profile, for all you know. Never contacting her again does not give her the benefit of the doubt, and in this case, I think bringing it up with her will make *you* look like the stalker.
 
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ZisaGirl is offline ZisaGirl Post #9  August 19,2009, 5:36am
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These days, with so many people having internet-ready cell phones, it's become such a habit to automatically check all emails anytime they have a spare SECOND. She may have done this out of habit. And yes, you two were just on a first meeting.

If you like her, call her. I have gone home from a date and immediately logged on to view my date's profile and re-read all emails we sent to each other. If I had an internet-ready cell phone, I might do the same thing while on the date. Kind of like, now that I've met him, I want to review it all. Not a big deal.
 
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BelieverinKY is offline BelieverinKY Post #10  August 19,2009, 8:19am
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Fleuellen wrote :
Yes, you checked on her. Like, I'm not sure who has the bigger problem. Maybe you'll be a perfect match?
No, Actually I was checking the messages I had recieved, and, since I enjoyed meeting her I simply looked at her profile, pretty normal for normal people. Thanks for making a judgement. Otherwise holding my tounge.
 
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