Advice and Support from Thousands of Users Just Like You

Dating First-date jitters? Hoping for a second date? Moving on to a full blown relationship? Share your journey and advice here.

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
timeless2's Avatar

timeless2 wants to know which hat to wear next?

Virtuoso

Join Date: Dec 2008

Posts: 3,365

See profile

Dafearon wrote :
In theory, yes. You get to know the other person before developing feelings. You get to know the other person before being having your view colored by harmones and endorphins. You KNOW the person, and therefore, have a better understanding if this person is right for you or not and you are not biased by emotions.

However, you then have to dig deeper into the motivation of dating a friend. This motivation can make or break a relationship and even a friendship. If the motivation is pure, meaning you both really did the above and learned about each other and found that you truly did love each other, that kind of relationship is like no other. A deep foundation that has already been establish and you build a romantic relationship from that, it can't fail. However, if the motivation wasn't as true and you believe it to be. If it becomes more a curiosity than truly falling for the other person. If you became friends with this person only to one day "score", then this has a huge risk of backfiring.

My experience is that you can date a friend. I did. It was one of the best relationships I've ever had. I was very sorry to see it end. It was through no fault of either of us, and totally situational. We are still friends today. I speak to her quite often and think of her fondly. I'm sure she feels the same about me, but circumstances prevent us from getting back together even though a small part of me wishes it.

++++10e10e10
what a lovely post
- August 19th, 2009, 08:35 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#11   Reply With Quote
flgal's Avatar

Pacesetter

Join Date: Mar 2008

Posts: 415

See profile

bigfincat wrote :
You have something to lose but the upside is extremely high.
I agree. This thread made me think of the movie "Made of Honor".
- August 23rd, 2009, 08:14 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#12   Reply With Quote
mysti24's Avatar

Newbie

Join Date: Aug 2009

Posts: 3

See profile

I'm glad that I stumbled upon this thread. I've met a man through mutual friends and we have developed a pretty good friendship. We've found that we have things in common and have been going to baseball games and the casino together. Its nice because when we go out to dinner with our friends neither of us feels like the third wheel anymore. He contacts me during the week either via phone or text.

The problem is I have grown feelings for him. I think he is a great guy and one of the very few nice ones that I have encountered in a while. For one of the very first times my attraction is based on everything including the way he carries himself, his sense of humor, the activities he participates in, work ethic...I could go on and on. We discuss our dating 'worlds' (he knows I am on this site and others, trying to meet people). From what I know he is not currently dating. And he is relationship phobic due to a divorce that left him very hurt. He's always encouraging me to date and laughing at some of my experiences. Little does he realize, the more he encourages me, the more I think to myself "why won't YOU date me?"

I am in uncharted territory. Part of me wants to tell him and the other part of me does not want to risk the rejection from a friend. Its frustrating. I pretty much sit back, admire him, get all excited when he wants to do something and leave it all in his lap.
- August 23rd, 2009, 09:00 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#13   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Good boss? eH_Advice_Admin_Lori Career 7 November 22nd, 2009 02:09 am
Do guys prefer open & agressive characteristics in women? Pris Ask a Dating Expert 36 August 25th, 2009 09:25 pm
What to Look For Before Elivating Dating to Relationship DennisWisconsin Dating 24 July 2nd, 2009 07:31 am

Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“Scott, I don't think eH likes the freeloaders to sneak in their alternate e-mail addresses as a way of getting around paying for their service so they deleted her profile. A lot of people probably ... ” – Gr8Guyn2008

Join the “FCW - Interesting Problem” discussion

“(Aside: could someone please define "tool" for me in the male/female relationship context? I've seen it used before here on eHA and not gotten an adequate feel for its meaning.)” – Iconography

Join the “Frustrated & Confused: Is He A Sexual Addict???” discussion

“Why can't you talk to the girl the way you do her sister? What would be wrong with that? I'd definitely be able to talk with her this way....but I just have little opportunity to do so. We did ... ” – jayjay

Join the “Dating and insecurity” discussion

“Welcome. How does this work? - Well, you get matches and you send out requests for communication or you get requests for communication. If you are interested, you start communicating. You will get ... ” – Gr8Guyn2008

Join the “I'm New after 22 years of Marriage, Help!!!” discussion

“I received a very nice e-mail at quarter till midnight. Again expressing her interest in another meeting. Do I try calling again this evening or wait until Monday? We are both going to be gone ... ” – Gr8Guyn2008

Join the “Just got home from first date... I think it went” discussion

“That is the craziest thing I have ever heard of. Ladies I am available to take you out on any night you would like to go out. And rest assured that if we go out on a Friday or Saturday that you are ... ” – stinkerbell

Join the “Is there a difference between weekday and weekend dates?” discussion

“I wouldn't worry about "no flirting" and "not much positive body language" after just 2 dates. Some people are more demonstrative and some are more reserved. You said her eye contact was better on ... ” – Sassafras54

Join the “Third Date” discussion



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 09:11 am.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2009, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.3.0