What to do after you hear this?


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Babily is offline Babily Post #1  August 17,2009, 8:25pm
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OK, so this guy met me at Whole Foods while I was shopping. He was one of the employees and told me how beautiful I was. Every time I came to the store he was asking me for my number, so I decided to give it to him. He was willing to go out for months and I finally decided to give him a chance. We went out, he was super nice and funny and I started to fall for him. He even asked me if I wanted to be his girlfriend over a romantic dinner, so I thought he was a very proper guy. He was saying how happy he was that we started talking.

One morning after I woke up, I got a text message from him asking me to let him think over about some things. When I called him, he was crying and told me he thinks he is still in love with his ex-girlfriend. I was so shocked and I didn't know what to say.

He wants us to be friends though. Should I be his friend or he doesn't deserve that?
 
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Mangosteen is offline Mangosteen Post #2  August 17,2009, 8:29pm
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Depends on if you want to be his friend. Sounds like he is a nice guy -- and at least he told you what he is thinking -- I don't think he went into the situation with you with bad intentions. Still it does suck and if you've got feelings for him, being his friend (only) is not going to work.

I've only been able to be friends with my ex's long after I've dated them... otherwise there are too many mixed emotions, I get confused again, and eventually angry.
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #3  August 17,2009, 8:30pm
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Short answer? Not a chance.
 
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Wonderwoman402 is offline Wonderwoman402 Post #4  August 17,2009, 8:52pm
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Do you have such a shortage of friends in your life that you need a guy like this as a friend?

I vote "no."

Tell him to go figure things out with his x-GF, and best of luck.

(He didn't work in the wine dept, did he? Could have been an x-BF of mine!)
 
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wordwoman is offline wordwoman Post #5  August 17,2009, 8:53pm
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Are you interested in "just friends" status with this guy? Could you handle being his "friend" if he gets back with his ex-girlfriend? Could you handle it if he decides he wants to date someone else?

If your answer is "no" to any or all of these questions, let this guy go and find yourself another.
 
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MCMLXXII is offline MCMLXXII Post #6  August 17,2009, 8:53pm
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I would be his friend. Plus, you're going to run into him at your local Whole Foods, so you might as well be civil.

Note: MCMLXXII loves Whole Foods.
 
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Babily is offline Babily Post #7  August 17,2009, 9:01pm
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Well that's not a problem. There are other Whole Foods stores around
 
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brneyedangel is offline brneyedangel Post #8  August 17,2009, 9:09pm
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When things like this happen to me, I wonder what else he hasn't been on the level about, and I prefer a clean break. It's all just too wishy-washy. No, I wouldn't be his friend, and yes, I would choose another grocery store.
 
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EMTZ is offline EMTZ Post #9  August 17,2009, 9:35pm
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I personally don't want to be friends with a guy who can ask a girl to be his girlfriend when he is still in love with his ex. That is not the kind of people I want to care about, even as a platonic friend, because I think that is an emotionally reckless and selfish thing to do as an adult.
 
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gothustartus is offline gothustartus Post #10  August 17,2009, 11:48pm
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Babily wrote :
One morning after I woke up, I got a text message from him asking me to let him think over about some things. When I called him, he was crying and told me he thinks he is still in love with his ex-girlfriend. I was so shocked and I didn't know what to say.

He wants us to be friends though. Should I be his friend or he doesn't deserve that?
He thinks he's still in love with her, ok that means he has issues with her that he hasn't resolved, maybe he thought he had (we can fool ourselves quite easily if we want to) but then saw or heard something that reminded him of her and bam, it jumped up and bit him on the a**.
If he still wants to be friends then you need to ask yourself if you want to be friends, but i think asking if he deserves it is a bit harsh, he has been honest with you, he's just not been honest with himself.
 
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