Advice and Support from Thousands of Users Just Like You

Dating First-date jitters? Hoping for a second date? Moving on to a full blown relationship? Share your journey and advice here.

Reply
Page 1 of 3 1 2 3
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
makki makki is offline
makki's Avatar

Newbie

Join Date: Jul 2009

Posts: 14

See profile

I've been a member of EH for over 2 months. I've been on one date that I initiated with an icebreaker. No chemistry there. Other than that....I have NOT had ONE match contact me. The only action in my "communication" section is when they close me. Yes, I'm full figured but I have a lot to offer a man. In all this time and over 200 matches NOT ONE MATCH has contacted me. Nothing. So... I have to assume that I am hideous to look at as well as being full figured. EH is for the beautiful people. When my membership is up... I'm out of here.
- August 17th, 2009, 06:00 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#1   Reply With Quote
tbesq tbesq is offline
tbesq's Avatar

Volunteer Community Leader

Join Date: Jun 2008

Posts: 3,309

See profile

makki,

EH is not just for beautiful people. However, the truth is that there are a handful of physical traits that may make one's journey towards love a little more difficult with online dating. Online dating is generally a much shallower game than conventional dating.

How much longer until your membership is up? I'm sure you'll get a few interested men. I encourage you to communicate with all men who contact you.

Best of luck.
- August 17th, 2009, 06:05 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#2   Reply With Quote
brneyedangel brneyedangel is offline
brneyedangel's Avatar

Volunteer Community Leader

Join Date: May 2009

Posts: 1,737

See profile

I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling so discouraged. I have a few things for you to consider. First of all, two months really isn't that long. You really haven't given the service that much time to work. Secondly, how much communication have you tried to initiate? Finally, do you think you're hideous? If you do, that's going to come across in your communication and in the words you choose to express yourself in your profile. If you truly feel you have a great deal to offer a man, then you need to have some patience and muddle through the process just like everyone else does. You can't expect to find your perfect match over night, or even in two months time. Sometimes it takes much, much longer than that. Don't you think you're worth the effort?

I wish you the best of luck, regardless of what you decide to do.
- August 17th, 2009, 06:10 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#3   Reply With Quote
butterflywhisperer butterflywhisperer is offline
butterflywhisperer's Avatar

butterflywhisperer is at home.

Quick Study

Join Date: Nov 2008

Posts: 94

See profile

brneyedangel wrote :
I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling so discouraged. I have a few things for you to consider. First of all, two months really isn't that long. You really haven't given the service that much time to work. Secondly, how much communication have you tried to initiate? Finally, do you think you're hideous? If you do, that's going to come across in your communication and in the words you choose to express yourself in your profile. If you truly feel you have a great deal to offer a man, then you need to have some patience and muddle through the process just like everyone else does. You can't expect to find your perfect match over night, or even in two months time. Sometimes it takes much, much longer than that. Don't you think you're worth the effort?

I wish you the best of luck, regardless of what you decide to do.
I agree. I consider myself to be pretty average looking and say as much in my profile. I am happy with the way I look. Well, wouldn't you know it, one match upon seeing a photo of me gushes how 'beautiful' I am and with each e-mail he begins with Dear Beautiful ___. I was with another guy years ago who told me "if you realize how beautiful you really are, you will leave me" and I assure you, I am just average looking. I really honestly and truly think that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I was with one guy who I thought was the best looking guy I had ever dated and he thought he was ugly. Go figure. It cuts both ways.

I think that each of us has parts of us that we'd like to change and no one has that flawless, perfect image of themself so we just work with what we've been given and believe that there are those out there who think we are beautiful, even if we think we are only average looking. Two months is a little too short and at least you had one date, that's probably more than others who tried and gave up too quickly. Reading these boards also helps... well, err, sometimes! Cheers!
- August 17th, 2009, 06:27 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#4   Reply With Quote
makki makki is offline
makki's Avatar

Newbie

Join Date: Jul 2009

Posts: 14

See profile

No I do not think I'm hideous. I have tried sending ice breakers and even got so bold as to just send out my first questions. I get closed. I've changed up my answers from heartfelt to brief. I've changed my pic. I'm sick of getting the freebie matches. You know the ones.... no pic and the brief answers. I get all the lookie lou freebie matches. Please. I'm not an idiot.
- August 17th, 2009, 06:42 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#5   Reply With Quote

ADVERTISEMENT

DennisWisconsin DennisWisconsin is offline
DennisWisconsin's Avatar

DennisWisconsin Heading to Davenport, IA

Virtuoso

Join Date: Jun 2008

Posts: 4,710

See profile

makki...

I understand how dating can get you down... trust me hun... some of us have been doing this for years... Don't be in a hurry.

You aren't hideous... none of us are... but you may need to do some things for yourself... I suggest by perhaps doing some things for other people.

We feel allot less hideous after we've helped someone... we become valuable... most importantly to ourselves.

This is your life... Find activities like going to a golf driving range,,, you can rent everything you need and it isn't expensive... And yes there are men there... Volunteer at the local zoo... the animals need you and the children will love your stories...

Think of something else besides dating.. but put yourself out there. These activities and others will work like magic eventually... but be patient...
.
.
.
eHa Groups:
(Compromise Of the Left and Right On Healthcare?)Healthcare Poll: Vote and then express your opinion.
Last edited by DennisWisconsin; August 17th, 2009 at 06:50 pm.
- August 17th, 2009, 06:48 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#6   Reply With Quote
KiskaKitty KiskaKitty is offline
KiskaKitty's Avatar

KiskaKitty Me-oooooow!

Quick Study

Join Date: Mar 2009

Posts: 168

See profile

Makki, the time it takes a person to find someone on eHarmony can be very different. I was on it for about a week when I was matched with my boyfriend who had been on it for 3 years. (he waited a long time for me lol)

Don't be discouraged, for all you know the person who will love you for you might not have even signed up yet.
- August 17th, 2009, 07:05 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#7   Reply With Quote
emerraald emerraald is offline
emerraald's Avatar

emerraald is happy.

Quick Study

Join Date: Jul 2009

Posts: 197

See profile

Makki
Post a picture.glam it up, do not get stuck on your weight issue, you can change that. Happy hunting
- August 17th, 2009, 07:06 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#8   Reply With Quote
butterflywhisperer butterflywhisperer is offline
butterflywhisperer's Avatar

butterflywhisperer is at home.

Quick Study

Join Date: Nov 2008

Posts: 94

See profile

makki wrote :
No I do not think I'm hideous. I have tried sending ice breakers and even got so bold as to just send out my first questions. I get closed. I've changed up my answers from heartfelt to brief. I've changed my pic. I'm sick of getting the freebie matches. You know the ones.... no pic and the brief answers. I get all the lookie lou freebie matches. Please. I'm not an idiot.
Wow, I'm really sorry if I came across as patronizing and thinking you are stupid. I was only responding to your title and took it at face value and didn't realize that though you wrote it, you didn't mean it. People sometimes do write such things about themselves and really mean it and I was trying to simplify the 'beauty is in the eye of the beholder' thing because I believe it is a truism. Regardless, I hear your frustration about the dating situation and the 'freebie' matches as you say.

I only wish you the best.
- August 17th, 2009, 07:07 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#9   Reply With Quote
Gr8Guyn2008 Gr8Guyn2008 is offline
Gr8Guyn2008's Avatar

Gr8Guyn2008 I wanna know what love is, I want you to show me

Power Poster

Join Date: Jan 2008

Posts: 9,311

See profile

We see this similar story time again here. "I signed up for 1 month (3 months or whatever) and have been here for
- August 17th, 2009, 07:10 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#10   Reply With Quote

ADVERTISEMENT

Reply
Page 1 of 3 1 2 3

Bookmarks

« Share YOUR tips for being a better date | Array | Please review my profile! »
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Not a member or thinks I'm hideous?? dz1234 Using eHarmony 8 August 10th, 2009 01:43 pm

Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“Oh, don't fret so. I'm only wondering that both of you are "too" into each other after a couple of dates. Be sure to keep up your own life. You want a romantic interest not an emtional crux. Mind you ... ” – Fleuellen

Join the “always so paranoid” discussion

“ Although I don't doubt there are men that can be attracted that would not "poof" because of your behavior I would have to say that the fact they don't "poof" is the most damaging evidence of their ... ” – Can_I_just_be_Jo

Join the “Need some advice please...” discussion

“ He knows the abuse wasn't sexual, and he knows I am not gay or bisexual.” – charity8987

Join the “Argh, screwed up with new guy.” discussion

“my dream color is medium red brown with auburn tones” – jtwark

Join the “L'Oréal's 'Find Your Fall Hair Color' Sweepstakes!” discussion

“all, or most of my matches lately have been people that never reply to the first step of communication or their profile says to contact them on facebook. it seems to me that these profiles are people ... ” – Coca-Cola

Join the “matches dont respond/their profile says contact them on face book” discussion

“"Billed in one installment of $239.40" means, "Billed once for $239.40." Pardon me for saying this, but if I had less than $40 in my bank account, buying an eHarmony subscription will be the least ... ” – Coca-Cola

Join the “eHarmony payment plans” discussion

“ Call them!” – Coca-Cola

Join the “FCW - Interesting Problem” discussion

“It appears the OP hasn't participated in EhA since she login and posed her question initially. We all come to these advise boards with so many different backgrounds...in fact I wrote another post on ... ” – RoxyRedhead

Join the “Frustrated & Confused: Is He A Sexual Addict???” discussion



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 05:30 am.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2009, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.3.0