Advice for inexperienced guy


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Gibson3015 is offline Gibson3015 Post #1  August 17,2009, 5:42am
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I was wondering if anyone had some advice for me. I met this great woman online and we have been out on 3 dates. The last 2 dates have ended in hugs. That's the only contact I've had with her no hand holding or anything like that. We're planning on going out again this weekend. I'm pretty sure that she likes me or she wouldn't keep going out with me. My problem is, I hadn't been out on a date in over 10 years. I'm 29. I get the feeling that she thinks I'm moving too slow. I want to kiss her but I just haven't seen a good opportunity to move in. I want to just tell her that I have not dated much and that's why I'm moving slow. Do you think that's a good idea or just go with it and hope I can get past the first kiss stage?

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KiskaKitty is offline KiskaKitty Post #2  August 17,2009, 10:18am
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The fact that she's still going out with you is a pretty good sign. I think you just need to go for it. When I was going out with one guy we were near the end of our second date and I was beginning to wonder why he hadn't kissed me yet when he said something like "I keep thinking about kissing you" to which I replied, "Why don't you stop thinking about it and just do it already" Now I don't recommend telling her you're thinking about kissing her, because that's not very romantic at all. What you can do to test the waters is when you meet for your next date give her a kiss on the cheek. If she pulls away or doges it (which she will if it's unwelcome) then you know she's not interested. If she accepts that kiss, trying giving her a kiss on the lips sometime before you part ways. Don't try to find the PERFECT moment you might be waiting a long time.

Be brave, worst case you find out she's not interested and then you can move on to someone who is. ;-)
 
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hazmat is offline hazmat Post #3  August 17,2009, 10:41am
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If you're too shy for a lip-kiss, at the end of the date, look into her eyes, take her hand (without looking away or fumbling to find it) and gently kiss the back.

If you leave her wanting more, that's a good thing.
 
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beentherehavetee is offline beentherehavetee Post #4  August 17,2009, 10:41am
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If you're having a third date, that's good. Try to get physically close to her, hold her hand or a slight touch on the arm every now and then if you're super shy...if she pulls away...not good....if she smiles or touches you back....good. If you warm up to her slowly and gently, when the opening comes (no pun intended) go for it. Make it soft and short.

Please don't tell her you haven't dated in over 10 years. As a woman, if a man told me so and during those ten years he wasn't married, I'd be wondering what is wrong with him. It'd creep me out or have me thinking.
 
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SierraMountainAir is offline SierraMountainAir Post #5  August 17,2009, 10:43am
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KiskaKitty wrote :
The fact that she's still going out with you is a pretty good sign. I think you just need to go for it. When I was going out with one guy we were near the end of our second date and I was beginning to wonder why he hadn't kissed me yet when he said something like "I keep thinking about kissing you" to which I replied, "Why don't you stop thinking about it and just do it already" Now I don't recommend telling her you're thinking about kissing her, because that's not very romantic at all. What you can do to test the waters is when you meet for your next date give her a kiss on the cheek. If she pulls away or doges it (which she will if it's unwelcome) then you know she's not interested. If she accepts that kiss, trying giving her a kiss on the lips sometime before you part ways. Don't try to find the PERFECT moment you might be waiting a long time.

Be brave, worst case you find out she's not interested and then you can move on to someone who is. ;-)
I really don't think it could have been said better than that.


She is ready, don't ask, just go for eet !!!!
 
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gothustartus is offline gothustartus Post #6  August 17,2009, 10:47am
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For me waiting for the perfect moment feels too staged, if that moment takes too long to come then she might start to wonder what the hell is wrong with you, or her.
Just don't overthink it, give her a kiss on the cheek when you're saying hi and see if she pulls back. It can be a bit embarassing if she does but then at least you know if she wants you to kiss her. Just be careful if you wear glasses, catching her with the corner of the frame is not romantic.
 
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pussinboots is offline pussinboots Post #7  August 17,2009, 10:50am
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The best advice I can give you is that if you are thinking of sharing something personal with her at the beginning, such as being inexperienced, really think hard before deciding to share it. Once the words are out, and I'm not only talking about being inexperinced, you can't bring them back. It's been my experience that people who haven't dated too much tend to share too much too soon.

As far as the kiss goes, I am in agreement with KiskaKitty.
 
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Oregon_Coast_Guy is offline Oregon_Coast_Guy Post #8  August 17,2009, 12:52pm
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Never EVER admit to being inexperienced. You are supposed to be taking the lead, teaching her things. Women don't want to do that.
 
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tenderheart105 is offline tenderheart105 Post #9  August 17,2009, 1:58pm
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Hi Gibson,
It is hard to give you advice here because I don’t know how this woman would react if you did tell her that you were inexperienced. If it were me, I can tell you that I would probably be very flattered to find out that you hadn’t taken an interest in many women in the past but that you were interested in me! I went out with a man once who was your age and had never dated. He had a lot going for him but for most of his life he was very shy with women. I don’t think there is anything wrong with that. I would say trust your gut in this situation. There are more people out there like you than you think. If you would like to kiss her maybe try just a gentle kiss on the lips. Nothing more than that for the first kiss. That might take some of the pressure off of the situation for you.
 
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TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #10  August 17,2009, 2:01pm
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[quote=Gibson3015;712821]I was wondering if anyone had some advice for me. I met this great woman online and we have been out on 3 dates. The last 2 dates have ended in hugs.
 
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