I just don't know the game...


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qqktb is offline qqktb Post #1  August 16,2009, 7:13pm
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I thought it would be easy to get into the dating scene again. I'm 27, single mom, healthy, happy, independent, funny, athletic, you know, just an average grounded woman. So I've been on eH 2 months. I've been in OC with a few men (like 20), given my number out to 5, and actually went out with 3. Every guy I have been in communication with has pursued me in a way I know he is interested. Except the last one, lol. Now, quite naturally, this is the man I was most attracted to and most interested in. I didn't expect this to happen and now I'm wondering how do I let him know I'm interested without appearing desperate? He continues to leave the ball in my court, so to speak, because I am a single mom with a full time job and a homeowner, so I have my hands full. But, by him putting everything in my hands, I feel like I am not being persued and I can't tell if he is really being "respectful" of my time, or is he not that into me?
I don't want to bore anyone with too many details but it's only been a week and a half. The one time we met face to face was for coffee about an hour because I needed to leave. Any advice? Should I just ask him? I'm actually very upfront and have considered calling him (we are in call/text mode of communication) and asking "hey, are you into me? If you are, please pursue me in a way that lets me know that, because I can't really tell as is". Oh, and we have only been in communication for a little over a week, lol. Maybe I'm jumping the gun because I know I am interested in him.

Thanks for any points of view!
 
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brneyedangel is offline brneyedangel Post #2  August 16,2009, 7:22pm
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would very much appreciate it if the rain would stop, now! Thanks!

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I'm thinking he's trying to be considerate since you have so many responsibilities. Since you're straight forward, why not just call and ask him out? You'll find out pretty quickly if he's interested or not based on his answer.
 
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Shads is offline Shads Post #3  August 16,2009, 7:27pm
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qqktb wrote :
I thought it would be easy to get into the dating scene again. I'm 27, single mom, healthy, happy, independent, funny, athletic, you know, just an average grounded woman. So I've been on eH 2 months. I've been in OC with a few men (like 20), given my number out to 5, and actually went out with 3. Every guy I have been in communication with has pursued me in a way I know he is interested. Except the last one, lol. Now, quite naturally, this is the man I was most attracted to and most interested in. I didn't expect this to happen and now I'm wondering how do I let him know I'm interested without appearing desperate? He continues to leave the ball in my court, so to speak, because I am a single mom with a full time job and a homeowner, so I have my hands full. But, by him putting everything in my hands, I feel like I am not being persued and I can't tell if he is really being "respectful" of my time, or is he not that into me?
I don't want to bore anyone with too many details but it's only been a week and a half. The one time we met face to face was for coffee about an hour because I needed to leave. Any advice? Should I just ask him? I'm actually very upfront and have considered calling him (we are in call/text mode of communication) and asking "hey, are you into me? If you are, please pursue me in a way that lets me know that, because I can't really tell as is". Oh, and we have only been in communication for a little over a week, lol. Maybe I'm jumping the gun because I know I am interested in him.

Thanks for any points of view!

Interesting...and hard to say. I would just go for it and let him know that you are VERY interested. Sometimes us guys are not the brightest when it comes to these things.. lol
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #4  August 16,2009, 7:27pm
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...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

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I do find it interesting that the one man who didn't pursue you....is the one you can't get off your mind. lol
 
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Shads is offline Shads Post #5  August 16,2009, 7:29pm
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is living life....and getting in trouble along the way! LOL

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jayjay wrote :
I do find it interesting that the one man who didn't pursue you....is the one you can't get off your mind. lol

heh heh
 
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MCMLXXII is offline MCMLXXII Post #6  August 16,2009, 7:42pm
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Hi QQ: I just gotta ask, how do you know he wants to be involved with a mom? Single moms have less time on their hands than women with no children. Children are a priority while boyfriends are lower on the totem pole.

Admittedly, you've only "known" this guy less than two weeks, but has he mentioned anything about the fact that you're a mom? Did this topic come up over coffee? Does he have children?
 
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qqktb is offline qqktb Post #7  August 16,2009, 8:16pm
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JayJay, Shads, I don't find that funny at all okay, a little, lol. But I will have you know, if any of the other guys weren't pursuing me, I wouldn't have felt this way. But, then again, if they were pursuing me in the manner I wished this man would, I would probably freak out and wonder why they are so clingy, lol! I guess people only come across as clingy or desperate if you aren't into them.

MCM: He is a single father and mentioned that he completely understands and respects the demands of being a single parent. Both of our children are preschool aged. His child is only with him part-time. And although parenting was not the main topic of discussion over coffee, the short stories we did share showed that our parenting styles are very similar. We were both smiling the entire time and he greeted me with a hug and we left with a hug and a "have a nice weekend".

I sent and email stating I don't really have "free time" so to speak. Especially over the next 2 weekends. But I would be willing to make arrangements if he had something in mind. Also, that I would like him to take the lead here.

Didn't get a direct response from that email, but is was sent through eH and we are texting and calling now. He has texted me since, but hasn't directly asked me out again.
*sigh*
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #8  August 16,2009, 8:20pm
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I'm crippled by the fear That I've fallen too far to love

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Damned if I do and damned if I don't. If I am respectful of the fact that you are a busy single mother then I am not pursuing you hard enough. But if I was calling all the time and asking you out a lot then I would appear desperate or pushy. Gee I just can't win. BTDT. If you are interested in him let him know, ask him out. Pick up the phone and call him.
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #9  August 16,2009, 8:27pm
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...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

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Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
Damned if I do and damned if I don't. If I am respectful of the fact that you are a busy single mother then I am not pursuing you hard enough. But if I was calling all the time and asking you out a lot then I would appear desperate or pushy. Gee I just can't win. BTDT. If you are interested in him let him know, ask him out. Pick up the phone and call him.
That isn't making this guy damed....quite the opposite. She's very interested in him. Also....she's already communicated to him that she's willing to make arrangements to meet with him. Now the question is if she can control her interest in him and just sit tight until he asks her out.....or if her desperation will get the better of her and she'll communicate this to him instead.
 
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MCMLXXII is offline MCMLXXII Post #10  August 16,2009, 8:29pm
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qqktb wrote :
I sent and email stating I don't really have "free time" so to speak. Especially over the next 2 weekends. But I would be willing to make arrangements if he had something in mind. Also, that I would like him to take the lead here.

Didn't get a direct response from that email, but is was sent through eH and we are texting and calling now. He has texted me since, but hasn't directly asked me out again.
*sigh*
^^ Well, hang in there girl and best of luck. If this doesn't work out, it sounds like you have an active eH Inbox!
 
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