rainywind is offline rainywind Post #1  August 16,2009, 6:55am
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This is a "first" for me in dating men. First date was great and we ended up talking for nearly 2 hours. He was from the other coast and drove over here so we could meet nearly halfway. He had to get back and he walked me to my car and kissed me good-bye, and there was a bit of a spark for both of us so he suggested that we go back inside (restaurant at a hotel on the beach). We talked for about another hour and he finally said he really had to get back that he was waiting on an important phone call and if it wasn't good he would be polishing off his resume. As we were walking back to the car he held my hand and before he left he kissed me goodbye again and we agreed we wanted to see each other again.
He had asked me what "chemistry" between people when we met and at the time I could only come up with words but not really a "sentence" explaining it. I pondered it and sent him a text message the day after we met in person explaining what chemistry was between people in my own words and expressed that we seemed to have some chemistry. That was a Saturday and Wednesday I hadn't heard from him and left him a voicemail if he was still polishing up his resume that I would be happy to offer any contacts I had if it would be of any help and that I hope he was doing OK.
Well, OK, its been a week and nada from him. Considering the person I "met in person" and this lack of response I admit to being a bit perplexed here. I was married for nearly 10 years so this dating scene is a bit new to me again, but is this "normal behavior" for guys? I know if he's looking for a job, etc. he is stressed, but is it such a hardship to say "thank you" for thinking of me or I'm really busy right now and will commuicate when I can? At this point, I feel I need to write him off and I need to move on. I tend to treat people like I would like to be treated and this is just too bizzare for me. Advice or thoughts from the guys out there welcome.
 
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sammy2003 is offline sammy2003 Post #2  August 17,2009, 9:57pm
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I would write him off - if he was really into you he would communicate with you.
 
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gothustartus is offline gothustartus Post #3  August 18,2009, 10:00am
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He drove halfway across the country to meet up? Ok, i have no problem with the idea of getting a flight to meet someone who may be the one, i've done it a couple of times, but driving? Wouldn't that take a couple of days if you're not talking about somewhere like Florida?

I don't know why people vanish, act like they had a great time or say they did, then drop off the face of the planet. I'm sure they have some way of justifying it to themselves, i just can't imagine what the words would be.

If i were being cynical i'd maybe ask if going back into a restaurant inside a hotel that maybe it was the hotel he was thinking of.
 
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MoneyHoney is offline MoneyHoney Post #4  August 18,2009, 10:35am
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It is my impression that a guy can be on a perfectly fine date and be having a wonderful time, but if he doesn't see any true, long-term potential he will not ask you out again. I don't think most men want to just "pass the time" with someone, so they do not bother to see what develops. Some place I read that women are like 300 degree ovens and it takes us a while to warm up to someone, and men are like microwaves. They have to heat up fast. It's not that there is anything "wrong" with you or the date; it's just that you were not "the one" in his eyes.

If a guy does not call me back within two days of a date, I assume he has moved on, and I do the same. If he likes you, he will let you know right away. Good luck!
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #5  August 18,2009, 11:09am
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I have to see this situation as that he is just not into you and recommend that you move on.

I will go off on a tangent now. I think that if people stop trying to use texting as a form of serious commuication in, relationships would be a lot easier to get going and maintain.

Texting is fine for a confomation of a meeting time or place but is severly limiting in exchanging ideas.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #6  August 18,2009, 11:23am
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MoneyHoney wrote :
It is my impression that a guy can be on a perfectly fine date and be having a wonderful time, but if he doesn't see any true, long-term potential he will not ask you out again. I don't think most men want to just "pass the time" with someone, so they do not bother to see what develops. Some place I read that women are like 300 degree ovens and it takes us a while to warm up to someone, and men are like microwaves. They have to heat up fast. It's not that there is anything "wrong" with you or the date; it's just that you were not "the one" in his eyes.

If a guy does not call me back within two days of a date, I assume he has moved on, and I do the same. If he likes you, he will let you know right away. Good luck!
I disagree with your whole analogy of women being like 300 degree ovens and men being like microwaves. Far more women than men have indicated that they must feel an instant spark, many times evening mentioning that it must happen in the first 10 to 15 seconds of meeting, for a first date to turn into a second date.

You need to get a better understanding of girl time" versus "guy time".
 
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DanielJr82 is offline DanielJr82 Post #7  August 18,2009, 1:23pm
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If he doesn't respond to your call I'd write him off. You're too good for that, girl!
 
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BuzWeaver is offline BuzWeaver Post #8  August 18,2009, 5:44pm
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Never mountain climb over mole hills.
 
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kevin76 is offline kevin76 Post #9  August 19,2009, 8:44am
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Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
I disagree with your whole analogy of women being like 300 degree ovens and men being like microwaves. Far more women than men have indicated that they must feel an instant spark, many times evening mentioning that it must happen in the first 10 to 15 seconds of meeting, for a first date to turn into a second date.

You need to get a better understanding of girl time" versus "guy time".
Have you ever used a gas oven? That "instant spark" they talk about is just the pilot light. If the pilot light doesn't come on you'll never boil water on it, but once it's lit they usually need to simmer for a while before they get up to a boil.

For example, after one date and a kiss that threw sparks, a woman may be ready to continue building up to a potential long term relationship, while a man may be ready to go back to a hotel for an hour.
Of course I realize that's a vulgar generalization, and won't apply to every case. I'm not saying that's what happened here, but as long as we're making guesses that's what this smells like to me.
 
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