Financial disasters.......but your smitten, er? what do you do?


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Eucripides is offline Eucripides Post #41  August 26,2009, 11:41pm
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Listen to DeBrown! I've been burned before, don't let it happen to you! Tread carefully. document.write ("")
 
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AimToPlease is offline AimToPlease Post #42  August 27,2009, 5:34am
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Oregon_Coast_Guy wrote :

Think about it this way: If he is using credit cards on his dates with you, it most likely means he doesn't have the cash, which means he's only pushing himself further into debt.
That's a pretty general and misinformed statement. Many people including myself pay for everything with credit cards. I also funnel my monthly expenses through my credit cards (including mortgage payment). The very important key is to pay off my balances every month. the reason I charge everything is to rack up points or rewards. Thanks to a simple thing like this, I recently went to Europe and the entire trip was paid with points. Think about it, it did not cost me a penny for the trip. All I did was rack up points with my normal spending while NOT paying any finance charges.
 
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Scott42 is offline Scott42 Post #43  August 27,2009, 4:58pm
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Yeah, I know someone like that. Had perfect credit. Lost his job. Credit is ruined, and now in debt. And women won't date him if he reveals his finances. Are all women that materialistic? He is responsible. He just had some bad things happen out of his control. Laid off because of a merger. Economy sucked so even the state's workforce commission could not find him a job in his field. Yet women treat him like a loser for being in financial trouble.

Kinda sad that most people are so superficial. On the bright side, the financial problems have weeded out the gold-diggers and superficial ones. Hope he finds someone who actually cares about more than money.
 
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Avalon1k is offline Avalon1k Post #44  August 27,2009, 9:36pm
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Money comes and goes. My great grandfather made and lost over a million twice when a million was....well....a lot of money. I would say to someone if money is your main focus in life then you are in for a shock cause you can't take it with you and it does not solve all problems in life. I have a Hawaiian shirt that sums it up the best:

The best things in life aren't things

Tell the truth...there is less to remember

Goals are deceptive....the unaimed arrow never misses

He who dies with the most toys..still dies

There are two ways to be rich....make more or desire less

Beauty is internal..looks mean nothing

no rain...no rainbows
 
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lifelover is offline lifelover Post #45  August 29,2009, 2:47pm
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This area is a real sensitive one for me for many reasons - I have been financially responsible ever since I can remember ( I did over spend when I was 18 however I never got myself in that situation again). After my divorce I suffered some medical issues that prevented me from being employed for a couple years-trying to manage things and did end up doing a couple cash advances on my credit cards-finally got a job, called the great BoA and asked for short term reduction on interest rates - BoA closed my cards although I had never been late- my FICO scores were still in the high 780 +, due to BoA closing my cards started a financial nightmare which ultimately forced me to file chapter 7. So, should someone run from someone due to debt, there are many things that I believe needs to be looked at and taken into consideration with looking at the whole picture. Money is the main reason people in the US get divorced over, is one of the many reasons people go into marital therapy. To look at the hear and now and not the persons total history is a mistake, that is just in my humble opinion.
I always believe that within all humor there is underlying truth to some extent, so to the person who dates by FICO scores what are you going to do if they get rid of FICO scores
As with all things in life, a snap shot does not reveal the full movie.
 
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mbwood is offline mbwood Post #46  August 29,2009, 4:53pm
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hell no I aint gonna fork over money just for them
 
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Lazydaze is offline Lazydaze Post #47  August 30,2009, 8:52am
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Ladyjuju wrote :
Ok, so if he got himself into debt for any other reason than medical school or educational expenses, I should drop him like a hot potato?
What if he got himself into debt because he, like many people out there, got caught up with loosing a lot of money in investments, and with the recession, did not make as much money as he needed and used credit to make ends meet. i.e. looking after his kids needs, etc. because the mother of his children walked out and has not paid a dime for their well being. He is paying his bills, but it will take him several years to get debt free. I am very much confused over this situation. In some ways, I think, there, but for the grace of God, go I.
It is just a very difficult situation to make...that is, what do I do?
He has a great job, he is dynamic, projects a very successful person, no one would ever suspect he was in so much financial debt, however, he confided in me his situation tonight.
I've read all the replies, and it sounds like maybe you've already made your own decision. You're quick to defend this guy. How long have you known him; how long have you dated; is it getting serious? Will he want you to "help raise those kids".? The economy has gone South for alot of people, but really responsible ones don't share their financial information. They just do what's necessary. As far as the x goes? There's two sides to every story. The closer you get to this guy, maybe he'll ask you "just for a loan" to get him past a tight spot. Run for the hills if that happens, or kiss the $ goodbye. Lots of people work second jobs to pay off debts. Is he doing that? Be careful you're not being set up.
 
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BronwynSkye is offline BronwynSkye Post #48  September 16,2009, 4:43pm
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Have recently divorce a man who started out our relationship by giving me said news, I would suggest hanging in there. I agree with going to credit counseling with him-if he will go. If he won't or even consider seeking assistance then get out. If you stay with him don't put anything in both of your names and don't allow him to be a cosigner on anything. I made that mistake and lost my house. Don't open join checking account either. Keep all money separate even after he gets straightened out.
 
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beachgirl5 is offline beachgirl5 Post #49  September 16,2009, 5:03pm
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First, if he lost $100K in investments and didn't have $200K left, his investment strategy was too risky for a guy with kids he still needs to support. This says irresponsible to me. As is how he's chosen to handle it--sold his house and bought a smaller one he still needs to rent rooms in?

Ladyjuju, from other posts I've gleaned you are a 'traditional' woman who values men who are providers. Getting out from under this debt will probably take this guy a long time if he can ever fully accomplish it. If nothing else, he needs to spend every spare cent to pay it down.

I'd certainly be watching closely. You will see signs of whether he's seriously working to retire this debt or whether he just lives beyond his means.

So who's paying for the dates and are they low budget?
 
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