cp30 is offline cp30 Post #1  August 15,2009, 5:41pm

has only threatened to give up

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So, I recently took a much needed break from match dot com.

I was travelling most of last month too, and while I was reading my emails from match, I didn't have a lot of time to respond.

There was one guy who was pretty interesting from his profile, and cute too, though a little different. By different I mean, he had recently bowed out of whatever life he had been leading to become a farmer. He was well written and we seemed to have some similiar interests.

Well, he wrote to me. It was nice. I was going to respond. Then he wrote again....and again....and again AND again, and again.

Obviously he was a newb and didn't realize with every email I was getting more annoyed. I didn't get a creepy vibe from him. He seemed really just clueless...and ...like he hasn't learned to keep his expectations very LOW like the rest of us lol....call me jaded. He was way into me, just based on my profile and the fact I 'winked' back at him.

His last email asked for constructive criticism and if he had done anything wrong (since I did not respond to any of his emails). It was funny and well written (fast ways to my heart) and I decided, shortly before hiding my profile for two weeks -- to write back and constructivley criticize. He responded that he understood and didnt mean to be, whatever ....and that he was still interested if I changed my mind.

that was two weeks ago

I'm not so busy now....I decided to reopen my profile for the last two weeks of the 6 months I paid for back in Feb. For whatever reason I decided to look at his profile and read his emails again. I like him and he does seem like a good match for me....except for the crazy part and his seemingly high expecations I could never live up to! (he seemed to have idealized me)

I'm confident he is not crazy, just probably not sophisticated like us here....but I still feel a little weird because I know SO much about his life, thanks to all his emails to me. It would seem strange to write to him and say hey maybe we can try to start over and get to know each other now....

or is it worth a shot? lol...true story.
Last edited by cp30; August 15,2009 at 5:44pm.
 
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Emme is offline Emme Post #2  August 15,2009, 5:48pm

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What do you have to lose? You made it clear that his excessive emailing was having an unintended negative effect on you, so with luck he won't do that anymore. You like what he's said, you find him funny (a quick way to my heart too) and obviously you have interest or you wouldn't have posted it. If he pisses you off down the road, shut him down again. Otherwise, what's the risk? I say go for it. You never know what kind of gem you might find, especially if the guy isn't jaded or messed up from internet dating for a few years. Good luck!
 
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Emme is offline Emme Post #3  August 15,2009, 5:50pm

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I just typed a response and it got sucked into the black hole of eHa. Basically, what do you have to lose? if he gets out of line again, cut him off again. For now, you like him, he amuses you, and he's not jaded yet. I say go for it.
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #4  August 15,2009, 5:52pm
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...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

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I think you do need a break from match. My impression is you're trying to find a reason to do what you probably know you shouldn't.
 
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chawks64 is offline chawks64 Post #5  August 15,2009, 5:58pm
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I don't know. You're taking a risk, but that's nothing new. Maybe say you're willing to give it a shot, but that he's going to overwhelm you if he keeps up the email barrage, so he should chill a bit.
 
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brneyedangel is offline brneyedangel Post #6  August 15,2009, 6:01pm
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would very much appreciate it if the rain would stop, now! Thanks!

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I think you should do what you really want to do, but make sure you aren't making excuses for this guy. When someone sends me that many emails or builds me up without even knowing me, it gives me that desperate vibe. However, I have not interacted with him, so I can't say that my past experiences would be an indicator of what your experience with him would be. If you really want to give it a chance and you don't believe he's crazy, then why not interact with him a bit and see how it goes?
 
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Oregon_Coast_Guy is offline Oregon_Coast_Guy Post #7  August 15,2009, 6:03pm
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Sorry, but the guy is crazy, not to mention clueless, insecure, and in the end, probably creepy too, perhaps dangerous.
 
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cp30 is offline cp30 Post #8  August 15,2009, 6:04pm

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jayjay wrote :
I think you do need a break from match. My impression is you're trying to find a reason to do what you probably know you shouldn't.
nah. I wouldn't look for a reason to do something I know I shouldn't! If anything I feel like at the time I just had so much going on.....and now it's the opposite and I'm kind of reprocessing and staring at the ceiling wondering why I'm not in an airport.

I'm more likley to do nothing actually, just wondering what others might have to say! and, well I do think it is kind of funny, but he does seem like more one of the more genuine people that has ever contacted me....if a bit naive.

and chawks..yeah, I already gave him some "constructive criticism"!! lol.
 
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VB_Girl is offline VB_Girl Post #9  August 15,2009, 6:05pm
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It sounds like he has intrigued you since you are still thinking about him more than 2 weeks later.

Since you've paid for the service, you might as well take advantage of it in the time you have left. You can say you needed a break and that you were busy at work, both of which are true. He said if you changed your mind he was still interested. I don't think in 2 weeks he will have completely forgotten you. An email from you would probably be a pleasant surprise.
 
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cp30 is offline cp30 Post #10  August 15,2009, 6:11pm

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oh no. I dont think he would have forgotten me! I did tell him I was closing my account for awhile and that I needed a break from the whole process (among a few other things about why I hadn't responded...something along the lines of one or two emails would have been enough...)

Maybe since then he has had a date and become jaded like me? one could only hope.

I don't think he is dangerous like oregon guy suggests.....of course I can see how, with the information I have given it could appear that way. Obviously I did consider it.
 
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