Georgethegirl is offline Georgethegirl Post #1  August 15,2009, 12:19pm
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This isn't a question or poll as much as it is a rant. I dated a guy for a couple of weeks, and he seemed to be exactly what I was looking for, sweet, affectionate, smart, funny. Things started to get a little heated up, and he dug for something to be wrong with me and told me that because of this issue, he wanted "time to think" to decide if he really wanted to pursue this or not after I had to call him and question him after he tried to blow me off. He didn't even try to come to me and talk about it. He's younger than I am, and I think he needs to grow up. I apologized for something I said that supposedly offended him, but he insists on holding it against me. I wrote him a couple of e-mails calling him on his behavior and telling him that I'm not going to sit around while he decides if I'm good enough. I stood up for myself. He answered one of them, but not the last one.

I know I deserve so much better than this, and I did nothing wrong to him. So, why am I so damned miserable? How could I let myself fall so hard for someone so quick? I feel like such an idiot.
 
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cp30 is offline cp30 Post #2  August 15,2009, 12:32pm

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hey, it happens to the best of us. I really can't tell what happened judging by your post. But falling for a person and getting hurt is par for the course.

It happens. Sounds like feelings are bad on both sides now, for whatever reason. Best to forgive yourself, him, and move on as soon as possible. Try to chalk it up to experience. And stop emailing him...
 
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Georgethegirl is offline Georgethegirl Post #3  August 15,2009, 12:53pm
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cp30 wrote :
hey, it happens to the best of us. I really can't tell what happened judging by your post. But falling for a person and getting hurt is par for the course.

It happens. Sounds like feelings are bad on both sides now, for whatever reason. Best to forgive yourself, him, and move on as soon as possible. Try to chalk it up to experience. And stop emailing him...

Thanks. He asked me a question, and the answer involved my ex. I told him I didn't wanna give an answer, but he pressed for one. I answered, and he insists vehemently that I compared him to my ex. I did apologize, but he still insists on beating me up over something he wanted to know. (Figuratively speaking.)

The whole forgiving myself and forgiving him thing is really hard. I just watched what could have been a good relationship go down the toilet over something STUPID. Then again, if he knit-picks and freaks and indulges in that kind of drama over something that minor, how will he react to a real problem?

And, trust me, I have not sent him another e-mail since he didn't answer the last one where I told him it was rude to hold something over someone's head after they apologized and to just bail on someone without trying to communicate first.

Just still makes me miserable, and it shouldn't.
 
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Comedian is offline Comedian Post #4  August 15,2009, 1:30pm
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I think you're right to call it a Brick Wall. Lots of times we wish we could make the other person understand our misunderstandings. But it really is a brick wall. Both people have to be interested in climbing over. HE IS NOT. It hurts, but it happens. Its happened to me and I feel your pain...
 
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Georgethegirl is offline Georgethegirl Post #5  August 15,2009, 1:37pm
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Comedian wrote :
I think you're right to call it a Brick Wall. Lots of times we wish we could make the other person understand our misunderstandings. But it really is a brick wall. Both people have to be interested in climbing over. HE IS NOT. It hurts, but it happens. Its happened to me and I feel your pain...
Thanks so much, Comedian. I don't think he can get around his own fears long enough to let someone in who would really care about him. I can do nothing about that.

I wish I could offer you some sort of advice or insight into your own issue, but I have never even heard of that!
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #6  August 15,2009, 1:55pm
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...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

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It does sound like he's just gone. Oh well. A suggestion....next time when you don't want to answer something hold your ground and don't do it.
 
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Georgethegirl is offline Georgethegirl Post #7  August 15,2009, 2:25pm
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jayjay wrote :
It does sound like he's just gone. Oh well. A suggestion....next time when you don't want to answer something hold your ground and don't do it.
Yeah, no kidding. I keep wishing I could take that back. Then again, I know it's better to find out sooner than later... I don't think that, short of verbal abuse, something I say should used against me like that. I don't care, that is just wrong and not something I wanna put up with.
 
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CreolePrincess is offline CreolePrincess Post #8  August 15,2009, 2:41pm
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Sometimes it take a while to work through your anger when someone has wronged you and doesn't care. But he's likely moved on. So, while you're miserable right now, accept it for what it is, that he's not likely going to change, and start moving on with your life. Don't look for him to answer your final email, and even if he does, don't bother reading the response.
 
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Georgethegirl is offline Georgethegirl Post #9  August 15,2009, 2:46pm
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CreolePrincess wrote :
Sometimes it take a while to work through your anger when someone has wronged you and doesn't care. But he's likely moved on. So, while you're miserable right now, accept it for what it is, that he's not likely going to change, and start moving on with your life. Don't look for him to answer your final email, and even if he does, don't bother reading the response.
Yes, I'm fairly certain of all that. Right now I'm just trying to get over my own disappointment, in him and myself and the situation. I think the fact that things went kinda fast makes it that much harder.

Feels much better to just rant about it.
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #10  August 15,2009, 3:30pm
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...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

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Georgethegirl wrote :
Then again, I know it's better to find out sooner than later.
Better to find out sooner than later? Do you mean to find out he can act this way.....or that what you told him was something he'd find out eventually anyway?
 
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