Dating Tips: 7 Fool-Proof Steps to Approaching a Stranger

Dating Tips: 7 Fool-Proof Steps to Approaching a Stranger

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Dating Tips: 7 Fool-Proof Steps to Approaching a Stranger


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Bobzeaux is offline Bobzeaux Post #1  August 15,2009, 12:10am
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They forgot the most important step that comes before Step #1; how to do it without looking like a complete freak.  Confident, not overthinking, trying to creating trust and blah blah blah... You're STILL some weirdo who's stalking young women in a bookstore.
Unless they're in the love advice section of the bookstore (assuming it's a bookstore at all), the kind of women you're paying monthly sums to try to meet DON'T like strangers intruding on their lives.
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #2  August 17,2009, 3:42pm
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wrote :
6. Synchronize.
If you feel a connection, escalate the intensity by subtly mirroring the person's overall body position and voice (tone, speed and volume). For example, if the person speaks slowly and quietly, do the same.
You know, some people will notice if you start doing this. I notice it when people have done it with me. Sometimes I think it is subconscious, and other times it could be just because you really are "in tune", but the fact that this is an actual suggestion in an article about meeting people is slightly creepy.
 
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eharmony4me is offline eharmony4me Post #3  September 14,2009, 2:28pm
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Nanette:  Mirroring another person is a standard technique to make someone feel comfortable.  Read    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mirroring_(psychology)
"You're STILL some weirdo who's stalking young women in a bookstore." WOW!
What you said sounds bitter and cynical.  I think you are just mad that Obama won the election.
 
 
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #4  September 14,2009, 5:33pm
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eharmony4me wrote :
Nanette: Mirroring another person is a standard technique to make someone feel comfortable. Read http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mirroring_(psychology)

"You're STILL some weirdo who's stalking young women in a bookstore." WOW!

What you said sounds bitter and cynical. I think you are just mad that Obama won the election.
Actually if a guy goes up to a girl that he does not know in a store the odds of him having a discussion with the police and judge are far higher than that he will find out her name and phone number.
 
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Laughingdaily is offline Laughingdaily Post #5  September 14,2009, 9:51pm
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After reading the "Readers Digest" version on the so- called 7 steps, this must have been some article written in the 70's or something.

It has been my experience that meeting people and just randomly starting a conversation is always a challenge when you are looking for a potential date.

First you are making certain assumptions about a person. Then you have to make up some story line to get their attention.

My favorite approach if I am going to talk to a woman about a date is to simply ask her directly if she is married and/or in a relationship point blank.
Her response to this question will tell me pretty quick if she is interested or not.

Never consider rejection as a negative thing. One needs to be positive and realize you did not know until you asked, right?? One must be ready to move on and repeat this no matter how many times you get told no.

When you ask the right woman, first she will be taken by suprise with your direct approach. The rest is up to you. Just my humble and direct experience. Why waste time beating around the bush?? Just get to the point.
 
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saulgoode is offline saulgoode Post #6  September 22,2009, 6:33pm
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1) Talk to anyone, not just women/men you are interested in. Talk to the waiter. Talk to the coffee barista. Talk with the guy at the cleaners, when you pick up your shirts. Talk to ~people~, and you'll develop the skills you'll need when the time comes.
2) Definitely agree with this point in the article: don't over-think it. Do what comes natural, as a part of the natural setting.
3) 30 sec is way too long for the first converstation. I'm in a bookstore, I'd say something quippy, short, let her make a comeback, and then walk away.
4) Start a ~second~ conversation, later. Bump into her/him again, and make another quippy comment, something innocent and non-se.xual.
Perfect example here...
I'm jogging the other day on the indoor track. It's just me, and this lady on a walker. I'm jogging. She's hobbling. I'm not interested in her, and in fact, she's here with her husband, but this is how you do it.
I pass by her and she's leaning on the railing -- it's an elevated track, above the basketball courts. "Sure is nice without the basketballs bouncing, eh," I say.
"Sure is," she said. "I can actually think!"
I jog past.
I pass her a few more times, don't say much. It's a 1/16th track, so I pass her quite a few times.
I don't say anything else until I'm done with my jog. I'm walking, now, and she's still hobbling. I've done a mile. She's done 1/20th of a mile, poor thing.
I pass her, look back and say, "No matter how fast I run, you're always one lap ahead of me!"
She laughs.
And if she'd been a girl I was interested in, we'd have had something to talk about, then. "What happened to your leg?" I could've asked. "You work here? You single?"
We already had trust. I didn't run up behind her and say, "Hey, lady, what happened to your leg?"
Subtle. Allow people to notice you, and they'll respond. Just be patient, and realize you almost always have a second chance.
 - Saul
 
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When_I_See_You_Smile is offline When_I_See_You_Smile Post #7  September 22,2009, 6:47pm
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saulgoode wrote :
I pass her, look back and say, "No matter how fast I run, you're always one lap ahead of me!"
She laughs.
And if she'd been a girl I was interested in, we'd have had something to talk about, then. "What happened to your leg?" I could've asked. "You work here? You single?"
We already had trust. I didn't run up behind her and say, "Hey, lady, what happened to your leg?"
Subtle. Allow people to notice you, and they'll respond. Just be patient, and realize you almost always have a second chance.
 - Saul
Quite true.

P.S. I think you definitely made her day!
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #8  September 22,2009, 9:04pm
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I like D_Lion's suggestion to do what's natural in the setting. I recently had some positive progress with an attractive Hispanic woman I struck up a conversation with. I saw her last week in the supermarket checkout aisle (sounds cliche, no?). She had about 50 boxes of cake mix and 30 containers of cool whip....so I was asking her about what she was making....if the nails she was also buying were to go in the cake etc. ; )

She told me she was making the cakes for the restaurant that she worked at....and mentioned which one it was. When I went out in the parking lot I she gave me a big wave as she drove by.

So today I went for lunch to the restaurant she had told me she worked at and she was there. She recognized me and we talked again for a bit, found out her name, asked if this is the location she always works at and was told yes, every day except Domingo (our entire conversation was in Spanish). Before I left I told her I'll see her there again soon. In a couple days I'll go back again and ask for her number.
 
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Raybork is offline Raybork Post #9  October 21,2010, 1:11pm
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There are some good tips here. I agree that if you do see some you are attracted to, don't think about it, approach them right away.  It used to be impossible for me to react that way. I would run over in my head exactly what I was going to say to a woman.  That's when my blood pressure would rise, my heart would race so fast, I felt I would pass out. It would then be useless to continue with my plan as I was a total wreck.
 
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dbz77 is offline dbz77 Post #10  March 13,2011, 7:10pm
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Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
Actually if a guy goes up to a girl that he does not know in a store the odds of him having a discussion with the police and judge are far higher than that he will find out her name and phone number.
This is unfortunately true.

It is amazing that women have absolutely no clue as to what we men have to go through, since we always have to be the initiators.
 
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