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jayjay jayjay is online now
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MansPOV wrote :
As a single dad, dating someone who can understand the demands of parenting is a big benefit...

We can't just take off for the weekend on a moments notice. Spontaneity requires "planning"! And sometimes those plans change at the last minute when kids get sick or there is no one to watch them, etc., etc..

That being said, I don't think I've thought of a prospective date in terms of parent/non parent that way. I don't really hold that up as a significant factor. I've dated both.

The biggest thing for me when dating a single mom however, is her parenting style and the way she interacts with her children. I find that correlates strongly to OUR compatibility.
So with all those scheduling complications and last minute changes in plans....can two single parents find time to spend together?
- August 16th, 2009, 09:32 pm
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DreamingOfJustice DreamingOfJustice is offline
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Hiya Jay-jay...might I answer from the mum's point of view?...(gigglin okies it was a joke)..

I find the biggest obstacle in getting together for dates is the age of the children...truthfully- its tougher to find a responsible babysitter for an infant than a 10 year old. A 14 year old can watch a 10 year old, or a 3 year old...I really didnt date when my son was a baby. I waited. My parents did assist me in watching him whilst I traveled; but I reserved them from my career traveling, since that travel was mandatory.

My son was the exception than the rule at restaurants- he had been traveling with me since he was a babe-in-arms, and he was very very good at table. People were amazed and frankly- so were my dates. Many of the guys complimented me and none had reservations about asking me out once more. One guy cracked: 'Can I borrow him to walk in the park?'

hahahahhaaaazz...no..you arent taking my baby as a pick-up prop.

In closing- a serious career is as demanding-if not more so- than a child. Something for men to consider since most times, they are not the primary childcare providers but still have busy schedules. Works both ways!

Cheers!




jayjay wrote :
So with all those scheduling complications and last minute changes in plans....can two single parents find time to spend together?
Last edited by DreamingOfJustice; August 17th, 2009 at 10:56 am.
- August 17th, 2009, 10:52 am
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DanielJr82 DanielJr82 is offline
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It depends on several factors... looks and charisma would be prominent qualities that I find attractive in a single mom. And whether or not the ex-hubby, ex-boyfriend, or ex-fling-partner is in the picture or not. And if he is, how frequent.

The age of the kid (s) is very important, too. I agree with that.
- August 17th, 2009, 11:14 am
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Depends on several factors...

Does she have 3 kids from 3 different guys ?
Does she run the household, or does the kid(s) ?
Infants are scary....

And the things you would look for regardless of kids.
I think kids would be a bonus in the right situation.
- August 17th, 2009, 01:00 pm
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AJ73 AJ73 is offline
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parakeetjordan wrote :
I am interested in hearing from the men out there about why they would want to date a single mom. Thanks.
Well, personally I prefer to date single moms than those who have never had children. Being a single dad, I think it would be one of those things that we have in common and it takes the pressure off of "wanting to have kids"; which is something I'm not too keen on doing at this point in my life.

I think as others have mentioned, though, it has to do with the age group as well (I'm in the 35+ crowd).
- August 17th, 2009, 01:18 pm
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Single moms do not play those "games" that single women sometimes play.

On a side note, men are more attracted to the woman not the mother. If a single mom shows that she is more than a mother, it is more of a turn on for men.
- August 17th, 2009, 01:49 pm
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boccabum boccabum is offline
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It depends how old the guy is and if he has children himself. I'm 42, have my own children, the oldest of which will be 10 soon.
I date single moms but only if they have older children. I have no interest in trying to juggle time away from their schedule. If their kids' dad is a big part of their life, great. They have more time to actually do things. But single moms with young children who live with them the majority of the time are nearly impossible to date. They have other priorities, which are more important than some guy like me.
- August 17th, 2009, 01:56 pm
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calamitysammyjo calamitysammyjo is offline
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Fleuellen wrote :
well, actually I doubt I'd be interested in any adult without children. They'd just not be on the same wave length, proabaly self centre and not even tried, let alone failed at relationship. ALARM BELLS.

But flipped the coin, what would [you] date a guy who had sole care of their kids?
I definitely would. It might not be true in all cases, but I'd imagine a guy would have to be very responsible to be awarded sole custody. That speaks to his character for me. So if he's dependable, then he'd just have to be funny and intelligent and voila! The perfect trifecta.
- October 28th, 2009, 11:10 am
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Can_I_just_be_Jo Can_I_just_be_Jo is offline
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calamitysammyjo wrote :
I definitely would. It might not be true in all cases, but I'd imagine a guy would have to be very responsible to be awarded sole custody. That speaks to his character for me. So if he's dependable, then he'd just have to be funny and intelligent and voila! The perfect trifecta.
I am glad you dug up this thread. Some of the guys comments were priceless. I had a guy I dated for a month say I don't know about being the father of 9. I stared for a while, then after shaking my head said, your youngest is 17 they are adults, I only have 2 under 18. Oh and I don't need a father for my kids but thank you. I often wonder why some guys get hung up on strange things. He also got hung up on the 11 year age difference cause he was eleven!!11! when I was born. Yeah I am not a newborn anymore, thought you noticed. Wonder why I am not dating at the moment.
- October 28th, 2009, 11:29 am
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6dle899 wrote :
I agree; It's just one factor, though a big one.
...the more divorces, and the more children, the more sharply they need to be judged.
Wow, reading this is pretty scary. I can only imagine the conclusions a person might jump to when seeing me with my three children, all very close in age and one that looks NOTHING like me (we're talking black hair, dark eyes and olive skin as opposed to my blonde, blue and pasty whiteness).

Truth be told, they are twins and a singleton only a younger. Yes, they have different fathers but that's because they are all ADOPTED. My decision to have children was a very conscience one, there weren't any surprises, mistakes or lack of judgement involved.

I hope to be judged once my spine is cracked and not just by my cover. Never know what story lies within those pages!
- October 28th, 2009, 02:06 pm
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