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cfibl's Avatar

cfibl is out walking the dog.

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I was up at my local bar last night, and a married woman struck up a conversation w/ me. She let me know early on that she was happily married to not give me the wrong impression (not that I would have done anything anyway, hooking up w/ married women isn't my thing). Anyway, she seemed really impressed w/ me and said something like: "You are such a cute guy. I don't get why you're not talking to any of the girls here." All of the other attractive women there were either w/ guys or working is the reason. It's always nice to get a good compliment, but why the hell can't I meet someone who's single and thinks/feels this way?
- August 14th, 2009, 12:27 pm
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Being flattered or complimented by someone who is completely unavailable to you isn't always a good thing and rarely accurately represents the opinion they'd have if they were available. I wouldn't place much stock in it.
- August 14th, 2009, 12:39 pm
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In that situation, she had a chance to see you more "as you are." You weren't trying to attract her or impress her or connect with her in a sexual way. There was no anxiousness on either side about those dynamics.

You should have asked her if she knew anyone she could introduce you to!
- August 14th, 2009, 12:53 pm
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cfibl wrote :
All of the other attractive women there were either w/ guys or working is the reason.
A number of those guys might have been brothers, friends, coworkers etc. You don't need to assume they are boyfriends/dates. Even if they are...you could have a good conversation with both the men and women, even if nothing romantic can come out of it.
- August 14th, 2009, 01:05 pm
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So... she's married... why wasn't her husband with her? (wink wink)
- August 14th, 2009, 04:25 pm
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cfibl wrote :
I was up at my local bar last night, and a married woman struck up a conversation w/ me. She let me know early on that she was happily married to not give me the wrong impression (not that I would have done anything anyway, hooking up w/ married women isn't my thing). Anyway, she seemed really impressed w/ me and said something like: "You are such a cute guy. I don't get why you're not talking to any of the girls here." All of the other attractive women there were either w/ guys or working is the reason. It's always nice to get a good compliment, but why the hell can't I meet someone who's single and thinks/feels this way?
Don't get frustrated at a comment like that, because she's actually trying to help you in somewhat of a flirtatious way.

Like someone said, it's easy for her to say "you're cute" and all as you pose no threat to her, nor she to you, but I say, turn it around to your advantage....
You might put it right back on her with something like: "Really?? c'mon, you think so?!...help me out, I'm curious, what would you say to those girls, ya know.. if you were me?"
People like that want to help you, not only that, but they want to see you succeed.
It makes them feel good.

Last edited by TheThinker; August 14th, 2009 at 04:46 pm.
- August 14th, 2009, 04:44 pm
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BikerBeagle wrote :
Being flattered or complimented by someone who is completely unavailable to you isn't always a good thing and rarely accurately represents the opinion they'd have if they were available. I wouldn't place much stock in it.
I don't see what's to be gained by flattering or complimenting a stranger whom you will probably never see again. I know I have never given a compliment that I didn't honestly mean. I see no reason not to believe the lady meant what she said.

Perhaps BikerBeagle is green with envy!
- August 14th, 2009, 05:06 pm
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So... she's married... why wasn't her husband with her? (wink wink)
Very good question
- August 14th, 2009, 06:20 pm
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cfibl wrote :
I was up at my local bar last night, and a married woman struck up a conversation w/ me. She let me know early on that she was happily married to not give me the wrong impression (not that I would have done anything anyway, hooking up w/ married women isn't my thing). Anyway, she seemed really impressed w/ me and said something like: "You are such a cute guy. I don't get why you're not talking to any of the girls here." All of the other attractive women there were either w/ guys or working is the reason. It's always nice to get a good compliment, but why the hell can't I meet someone who's single and thinks/feels this way?
Do you really want to meet girls that hang out in bars?
- August 14th, 2009, 06:22 pm
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cfibl is out walking the dog.

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Couple of comments:

neardc - That's a good point. Maybe if I run into her again, I'll have to ask about any friends she might have.

Thinker - Not really frustrated w/ her, and I definitely thanked her for the compliment. Just seems like it's par for the course for me, which is frustrating.

Gr8Guy - Depends on how frequently she hangs out there. Certainly don't want a barfly, but I don't think there's anything wrong w/ occasionally hitting the bar. Afterall, I do it.
- August 14th, 2009, 09:34 pm
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