Dreaded First Phone Calls


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dater123 is offline dater123 Post #1  August 13,2009, 5:42pm
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Hey everyone!

I've recently started chatting with a potential suitor, who I started chatting with via online dating site. He says he is very laid back, but I'm beginning to think that is an understatement! (I sometimes wonder if he has a pulse )

We can talk for awhile, but he is soooooooooo serious. I make him laugh, but it just feels like pulling teeth. Is this normal???

I'm suppose to go on a face-to-face date with him this weekend and I'm also at the point of dread.

Thoughts, opinions...?
 
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Ms666 is offline Ms666 Post #2  August 14,2009, 6:53am
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Honestly, if you have no chemistry on the phone, very unlikely you will enjoy his company in person.
I went out with a guy like that, he kind of bored me on the phone, but I decided to give it a shot. We did have some fun, but I could never imagine a long-term relationship with him.
But by all means, as long as you're not really going out of your way to meet up with him, it can't hurt to at least meet the guy. It could be that he just gets nervous or hates talking on the phone. (Didn't work out that way for me, but que sera )
 
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IcecreamMoon is offline IcecreamMoon Post #3  August 14,2009, 6:58am
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Why am I not feeling normal here?
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #4  August 14,2009, 7:05am
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dater123 wrote :
Hey everyone!

I've recently started chatting with a potential suitor, who I started chatting with via online dating site. He says he is very laid back, but I'm beginning to think that is an understatement! (I sometimes wonder if he has a pulse )

We can talk for awhile, but he is soooooooooo serious. I make him laugh, but it just feels like pulling teeth. Is this normal???

I'm suppose to go on a face-to-face date with him this weekend and I'm also at the point of dread.

Thoughts, opinions...?
I would say based on this that you are a mismatch. If you dread it go with that!
 
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dater123 is offline dater123 Post #5  August 14,2009, 7:59am
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thanks for the replies!

Ms666, I actually am going out of the way to meet up with him, but so is he....lol

I'm definitely feeling a mismatch for sure. But I will go ahead with my plans with him and hope for the best...I guess.
 
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islandrain80 is offline islandrain80 Post #6  August 14,2009, 8:43am
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Some people just hate talking on the phone, therefore can't really represent themselves. I'm one of those people. Get me on the phone and I hardly talk. Get me in person I'm a bit shy, but I prefer it then talking on the phone.
 
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gothustartus is offline gothustartus Post #7  August 14,2009, 8:55am
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Yes it's normal, a lot of guys (and women) online have net personae that are closer to who they wish they were rather than who they really are. There is a certain anonymity to the medium which encourages people to be more open, more humorous, more slick or suave or charming than when they are face to face or on the phone, because they're either less self conscious about it or specifically trying to be that person.
When you talk to them on the phone they can't edit themselves before clicking on send so the persona goes out the window.
 
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shoopthedoop is offline shoopthedoop Post #8  August 14,2009, 9:02am
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gothustartus wrote :
Yes it's normal, a lot of guys (and women) online have net personae that are closer to who they wish they were rather than who they really are. There is a certain anonymity to the medium which encourages people to be more open, more humorous, more slick or suave or charming than when they are face to face or on the phone, because they're either less self conscious about it or specifically trying to be that person.
When you talk to them on the phone they can't edit themselves before clicking on send so the persona goes out the window.
+1

That is why I would try and not spend too much time on net communications.

Assume there is a difference between everyone's net and real life personalities. We all ultimately want to spend time with that special someone in real life. So why invest large amounts of time becoming acquainted with a net personae?
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #9  August 14,2009, 9:27am
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...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

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dater123 wrote :
Hey everyone!

I've recently started chatting with a potential suitor, who I started chatting with via online dating site. He says he is very laid back, but I'm beginning to think that is an understatement! (I sometimes wonder if he has a pulse )

We can talk for awhile, but he is soooooooooo serious. I make him laugh, but it just feels like pulling teeth. Is this normal???
What kind of suits does he make? But yeah.....what you described is normal, for someone without a sense of humor.
 
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dater123 is offline dater123 Post #10  August 14,2009, 9:45am
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^ lol

The thing is that his e-mails were very dry and boring too. So I wouldn't say that his persona online is any better. I will find out soon enough whether there is any personality hidden deep down inside! (but I'm leaning towards no )
 
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