Regrets about "letting someone in"?


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eHA_Admin_Lori is offline eHA_Admin_Lori — Advice Official Moderator Post #1  August 13,2009, 3:47pm
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I was reading a magazine lately and there was a sidebar story / timeline from a woman who met a man in passing on the street and (reluctantly) gave him her first name and number - only to regret it later when he voicemail and text stalked her for two weeks with increasingly alarming messages.

That made me wonder, have any of you "let someone in" by sharing some personal information because you thought they were a great dating prospect, only to regret it later?

~~~

As for me, a couple of months ago I got stopped on the street by a guy (a VERY cute guy) who chatted me up, flattered me and gave me his card. A couple of days later my curiosity got the best of me and I emailed him. We met for drinks and had a nice time, but in the flurry of text messages and phone calls that followed, I began to regret it, not because he was stalker scary but because some non-negotiable things about his life emerged (some scary bad habits that sounded more like addictions than habits, if you know what I mean). More than anything, I was disappointed that I'd let myself get into a position to be disappointed again after having just decided to take a break from dating, because of being tired of disappointment....lol

~~~

So....anything similar happen to anyone here? What was the circumstance, and why did you regret letting that person "in" to your life at all?
 
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IcecreamMoon is offline IcecreamMoon Post #2  August 13,2009, 3:57pm
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Not really.
But then I've never given my name and number to a passer-by. I have given my number to guys I met at parties or in clubs, but I would spend some time with them there first, and would only give my number if I felt comfortable with them.

Sure, I've had a few people who "overused" it, both from men I met in real life and online, and even some women who wanted to become friends, but that's just a part of life. The alternative would be to never take a chance at all, and that's something that I would really regret as it would leave me wondering "what if he was special and now I'll never know" - those are the only scenarios I regret in life. The rest I can usually deal with.
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #3  August 13,2009, 5:10pm
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...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

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Lori....there's always that possibility (likelihood?) of our being disappointed by those we make contact with and date. If someone is a lot more likely to meet a 'problem' person on the street (club, or wherever) then that might be a reason not to give out one's contact into so easily. Though....I don't know if one is really more likely to meet nutjobs this way than any other (such eH).

P.S. Why don't you send me a PM with your contact info? lol
 
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IcecreamMoon is offline IcecreamMoon Post #4  August 13,2009, 5:25pm
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jayjay wrote :
Lori....there's always that possibility (likelihood?) of our being disappointed by those we make contact with and date. If someone is a lot more likely to meet a 'problem' person on the street (club, or wherever) then that might be a reason not to give out one's contact into so easily. Though....I don't know if one is really more likely to meet nutjobs this way than any other (such eH).

P.S. Why don't you send me a PM with your contact info? lol
Not to mention certain "jobs" wearing cowboy hats at eHA!

btw, what happened to TWBs?
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #5  August 13,2009, 5:27pm
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...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

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IcecreamMoon wrote :
btw, what happened to TWBs?
I have a short attention span.
 
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IcecreamMoon is offline IcecreamMoon Post #6  August 13,2009, 5:30pm
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jayjay wrote :
I have a short attention span.
Depends on the subject, from what I've gathered...
 
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eHA_Admin_Lori is offline eHA_Admin_Lori — Advice Official Moderator Post #7  August 13,2009, 6:12pm
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jayjay wrote :
P.S. Why don't you send me a PM with your contact info? lol
 
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brneyedangel is offline brneyedangel — Advice Member-Moderator Post #8  August 13,2009, 6:37pm
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I can't really say I've had regrets about letting someone in/giving anyone my contact information. Initially I will only give out my cell phone number and my personal email. If someone should go overboard, or if I find that there's not a connection where I thought there would be one, then I have a conversation with him about that. If he becomes obnoxious/out of line from there, then I can easily block him on my cell or email (and that's only happened once recently). I figure it's just a part of the process of meeting people.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #9  August 13,2009, 7:36pm
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I'm crippled by the fear That I've fallen too far to love

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I must not be meeting enough people because I have never encountered any problem people.
 
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islandrain80 is offline islandrain80 Post #10  August 13,2009, 7:44pm
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Can't say I've had someone stalk me, but a few months ago I let someone past my "shy wall" because he was very flattering and seemed interested in anything that made me, me. I opened up to fast and to hard, and fell just as fast and hard (well, maybe harder).

Since then, I've been trying to keep my emotions in check and my 'wall' more sturdy. Don't get me wrong, I'll let someone chip away at it...but it's not coming down that fast again.
 
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