Regrets about "letting someone in"?


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gothustartus is offline gothustartus Post #11  August 13,2009, 9:01pm
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is thinking about someone special

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Not from giving my number to random people on the street, but i did get stalked by a woman on ICQ, she found out where i worked (how i din't know) and stood outside watching me all day.
 
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Wonderwoman402 is offline Wonderwoman402 Post #12  August 13,2009, 9:14pm
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eH_Advice_Admin_Lori wrote :
That made me wonder, have any of you "let someone in" by sharing some personal information because you thought they were a great dating prospect, only to regret it later?
Well, there was that first guy I gave my phone number to at the library. It was the end of the worst week of my life... I had "officially" become single on Monday and encountered this guy on Friday on my lunch hour at the downtown public library. He was very charismatic... got me laughing on what was a truly horrible day. He managed to get my phone number (his reasoning was that I might want someone to talk to after the horrible week I had).

After he got my number, he confessed he was staying at the Open Door Mission. Great! First time out the shoot and I give my phone number to a homeless guy! I swear to gawd he looked normal!! Later I was to find out he got kicked out of the homeless shelter for fighting! He called me several times, and they were very surreal conversations! He wanted to set us up on a double date with his new best friend that he met the day he got kicked out of the shelter and was now living with. Ummmm.... no.

This story, embellished in all it's glorious detail (most of which I've omitted here) makes for a very entertaining story to tell! My friends still tease me about him.

Since the first guy I gave my phone number to was a homeless guy... I figured I had no where else to go but up!
 
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butterflywhisperer is offline butterflywhisperer Post #13  August 13,2009, 10:03pm
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I only give my alternate e-mail addy and first name. That's it unless and until I feel more comfortable. One Eh suitor was free with his phone number and e-mail addy on each e-mail and I realize people can do reverse look up information using e-mail addys and this guy appeared technically savy and creepy to do just that. that's totem pole guy I was referring to.

In terms of letting someone in emotionally too quickly, sure, I've had regrets, especially when they turn on me and gossip it to somebody else. Wisdom and reserve prevail these days and at one time I was hurt so badly that I decided that I would put up a wall and not to trust again. This lasted for about a week and it was just eating me up inside when I finally decided that this wasn't me and that in order to love others, really love them, I needed to put myself out there and take an emotional risk. As I said, I try to use wisdom but that week of hardening myself just wasn't worth it.

To live in a house with high walls in order to protect oneself, one only ends up in the lonely fortress of one's own making. Is this living life? Behind a fortress, I don't think so. JMHO.
 
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Wiseman2 is online now Wiseman2 Post #14  August 13,2009, 11:43pm
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This is an excellent example of what can happen,in that, not necessarily a stalker , but a weirdo albeit charming and normal looking . People don't want to walk around on guard and almost paranoid, yet these things can and do happen . There is a way to prevent this, Technology
It, has been the way players play, but it can be a way to keep oneself safer: Always have a second cell phone/ number you can give out,as well as a free nonsense email and first name only, in flirting and chit chat ... let the stranger just talk, there's no need to be precise about where one works or lives or your real contact info. Make this a very solid habit so you can interact and never walk away wondering. Get their number, and info first...ALWAYS... I guess a woman would have play the role of man in that regard, that way if you walk away from an interaction, they know nothing more about you than before it, but you can research them
Wonderwoman402 wrote :
Well, there was that first guy I gave my phone number to at the library. It was the end of the worst week of my life... I had "officially" become single on Monday and encountered this guy on Friday on my lunch hour at the downtown public library. He was very charismatic... got me laughing on what was a truly horrible day. He managed to get my phone number (his reasoning was that I might want someone to talk to after the horrible week I had).

After he got my number, he confessed he was staying at the Open Door Mission. Great! First time out the shoot and I give my phone number to a homeless guy! I swear to gawd he looked normal!! Later I was to find out he got kicked out of the homeless shelter for fighting! He called me several times, and they were very surreal conversations! He wanted to set us up on a double date with his new best friend that he met the day he got kicked out of the shelter and was now living with. Ummmm.... no.

This story, embellished in all it's glorious detail (most of which I've omitted here) makes for a very entertaining story to tell! My friends still tease me about him.

Since the first guy I gave my phone number to was a homeless guy... I figured I had no where else to go but up!
 
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IcecreamMoon is offline IcecreamMoon Post #15  August 13,2009, 11:54pm
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gothustartus wrote :
Not from giving my number to random people on the street, but i did get stalked by a woman on ICQ, she found out where i worked (how i din't know) and stood outside watching me all day.
The view must have been enjoyable for her...
 
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gothustartus is offline gothustartus Post #16  August 14,2009, 1:12am
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is thinking about someone special

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IcecreamMoon wrote :
The view must have been enjoyable for her...
Well beauty is in the eye of the beer holder, there was a pub across the road after all.
 
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IcecreamMoon is offline IcecreamMoon Post #17  August 14,2009, 1:44am
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gothustartus wrote :
Well beauty is in the eye of the beer holder, there was a pub across the road after all.
Somehow you conveniently left this crucial peice of information out of the original story, hmmm... Now I believe it!
 
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meri75 is offline meri75 Post #18  August 14,2009, 2:10am
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Yes, 12 years ago. He continually called me at work and at home. I ended up changing jobs and my home number.
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #19  August 14,2009, 2:13am
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...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

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Wonderwoman402 wrote :
Well, there was that first guy I gave my phone number to at the library.
Seriously....I think the library is a place for people who have nowhere else to go to get out of inclemenent weather. It's sad.
 
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IcecreamMoon is offline IcecreamMoon Post #20  August 14,2009, 3:04am
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jayjay wrote :
Seriously....I think the library is a place for people who have nowhere else to go to get out of inclemenent weather. It's sad.
Rich, coming from Academia
 
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