Why Starbucks on 1st date?


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IcecreamMoon is offline IcecreamMoon Post #21  August 13,2009, 3:13pm
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neardc wrote :
It's an easy way to have a first meeting to see if you would like to go on a real date. And, it's a place from which you can both easily escape if things aren't going well.
I'm not a fan of Starbucks or any chain for that matter - I don't like their coffee or the atmosphere. Personally, I'd choose a nice independent cafe, but I agree with Neadc's answer - it removes the pressure of a "date". It's a relaxed first meeting to see if both you wish to continue and go on a real date. This is my preferred method of meeting from online dating sites and has absolutely nothing to do with money.
 
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tbesq is offline tbesq Post #22  August 13,2009, 4:12pm
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I agree with those who say that Starbucks can be a noisy place. Many Starbucks aren't very big, and those machines can be very loud.

But I generally believe that a coffee date, or a place where you can have some privacy with someone and speak in an informal setting, is a great icebreaker. With dinner, there are just too many opportunities to say or do something you'll regret (not that I've personally had issues with this). I also can agree with those who say that if the date is not going well, it's much easier and quicker to end a coffee date than a dinner date.
 
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CreolePrincess is offline CreolePrincess Post #23  August 13,2009, 4:16pm
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I agree with most of the posts here. I think Starbucks is a neutral place with an easy reason for escape if the date isn't going so well. Any coffee shop would serve this purpose, such as Java Joe in Books A Million. But even if he says he has lots of money doesn't mean he isn't cheap. (Not to say the prices at Starkbucks are cheap.) There are some people who will squeeze every bit of ink out of a dollar. Or he may not like suggesting going to a more expensive place, because if he's buying, he might feel that you are being a gold digger. (Not saying that you are.) So, why not invite him to another place as your treat if you haven't already and see what he says?
 
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CreolePrincess is offline CreolePrincess Post #24  August 13,2009, 4:16pm
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Last edited by CreolePrincess; August 13,2009 at 4:22pm. Reason: The post duplicated
 
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melman is offline melman Post #25  August 13,2009, 7:17pm
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cuddley101 wrote :
He told me he has a lot of money
I'm curious - what was your reaction to that? More interested? Less interested? Suspicious?

Personally, I would never say anything about my finances to an acquaintance. Nor to a date or a casual friend.
 
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landstar59 is offline landstar59 Post #26  August 13,2009, 8:30pm
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jayjay wrote :
Maybe he likes to look at the H.S. girls who hang out there.
Hey quit trying to stir the pot.
 
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Mr_Right is offline Mr_Right Post #27  August 14,2009, 3:55am
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Just take it as it is for a second date.

I agree with the others, about going there a second time... it's kind of weird.

Maybe he really loves Starbucks. I dunno. You should suggest some other ideas for dates. Or mention that "oh, my girlfriends are out of town this weekend, so we're not meeting up", so he knows you're free this weekend.
 
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Fleuellen is offline Fleuellen Post #28  August 14,2009, 8:07am
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"why do all men on e-harmony.com want to meet me at Starbucks for first date?"

Maybe because they don't like coffee
 
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richey is offline richey Post #29  August 14,2009, 1:49pm
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Just reiterating what the rest have said. It's a "neutral" low-pressure place to meet and get to know each other. There is no huge monetary investment so nobody feels jipped in any way or obligated to "repay" or whatever.

Not spending much seems like a good way to start getting to know somebody and keep the focus on getting to know each other, compatibility, common ground, without getting any side issues in the mix.

Richey
 
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pukeko is offline pukeko Post #30  August 14,2009, 4:36pm
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i had picked starbuck as a place to meet at for the date once. after that, the guy took me to a high class restaurant.

in your situation, starbuck is not the issue. it seems as though this guy has too much control with the choice of the date, not giving you enough. he may be hiding something, ie seeing other people so he doesn't want to spend too much on you.

when guy has too much control over the date, i would be more careful. girls should be given the upper hand in situation like this. he's not much like a gentleman, i think.
 
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