How does a man handle rejection by a woman maturely, and how can a man date the girl


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Leafsg is offline Leafsg Post #1  August 12,2009, 5:05pm
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Ok i know it seems like i am asking the same questions over and over again, but there are just some things I have been wanting to know but nowone would tell me the answer to.

Plus, before i start, just so that there is no confusion, the title was supposed to say: How does a man handle rejection by a woman maturely and how can a man date the girl he wants to be in a relationship with, but it seems i got cut off, but then again, it's hard to tell when the area that you type the title in is small that instead of words, there is nothing but dots there.

One of those questions (as if the title of the discussion topic did not give it away already) is How do i handle rejection by a woman? Because right now, i just end up crying about it and end up feeling angry that she would not consider me as her next boyfriend. Now, i have mentioned this in a previous discussion topic and a lot of people thought i was controlling and manipulative (there was more, but i do not want to get into that), and i did not like hearing that cause i am a nice guy who tries to be anything but controlling.

Also, in the past, when that happens, i am so hurt about rejections that i want that woman out of my life forever instead of friends. So what am i really supposed to do when rejection happens as i realize this is not a mentally healthy way of dealing with rejection, but i am sure as hell tired of women rejecting me because they are not attracted to me and only feel friendship towards me when i want to be in a relationship with that woman.

Next question is. How do i win the heart of a woman whenever i am interested in dating someone, or strongly attracted, or are in love with a woman? How do i ask her out in a way that she will want to say Yes to when Confidence/self esteem or being who you are is not good enough to win a woman's heart over. I am hoping there is more to it than being myself and confident as obviously, that does not work for me when i want to date a woman and be in a relationship with her.

I hope someone can tell me the answer. I am not ok with being single right now. I have been single for 9 years and i want the pain of being single to end right now.
Last edited by Leafsg; August 12,2009 at 5:09pm.
 
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happyquestion is offline happyquestion Post #2  August 12,2009, 5:10pm
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meditate
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #3  August 12,2009, 5:13pm
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Assuming a total stranger, I don’t do that. I would be likely to just walk away with no further words.
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Mr_Right is offline Mr_Right Post #4  August 12,2009, 5:17pm
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Clearly, you're not being rejected enough. I want to see you start asking women out, and if you don't have ten rejections in a day, it hasn't been a good day.

Seriously, if you end up crying that a woman rejected you, and you resent her, you need to work on that before you do anything.

You handle rejection like so: You realize that it's her loss, you realize that no matter what, there are women out there who will not consider you attractive, there are women out there that are unavailable, and that's OK.

If you want a woman to be in a relationship with, and not be "just a friend", then stop treating her as "just a friend". Tease her, flirt, talk about interesting subjects, live a little, wouldya.

You want to know how to win the heart of a woman who you are interested in? Find out if she's interested in you first. Because I tell you this, you're not going to get anywhere if she's not interested in you.

And get some confidence, wouldya. Start improving your self image, go to the gym, work out, get a haircut, get some new clothes (and ask the women there what looks good on you), get contacts or lasik if you have glasses, and improve your appearance. Next, start improving your life. Learn a language, start meeting people, get a better job, get a graduate degree, learn a instrument, and so forth.

You have to BE that person that women want to meet. Confident, optimistic, happy, doesn't let anything phase him, good job, place of their own... in short, a man who has his act together.

Now stop complaining and start DOING! Be the man!
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #5  August 12,2009, 5:24pm
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Also, I think you are getting ahead of yourself. Don’t invest any emotional energy in a person you don’t know.
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ThePriestess is online now ThePriestess Post #6  August 12,2009, 5:28pm
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Cry ... a lot.
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #7  August 12,2009, 5:35pm
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You can post a lot; that helps too!
 
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wishamee is offline wishamee Post #8  August 12,2009, 5:56pm
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Look for ways to improve yourself.

While you are unemployed, there are ways you can exercise at home doing things that cost nothing but sweat and effort. It will make you feel good to get more chiseled.

Running, biking, walking might also get you out often enough to meet new people or even old acquaintences and neighbors who might lead to an introduction of a woman who would enjoy getting to know you.

Try volunteering to help others through a nearby church or service organization. Helping people can build your confidence, give you some new skills AND you might just meet some women that you can get to know better. They may introduce you to their circle of possible dates.
 
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hazmat is offline hazmat Post #9  August 12,2009, 6:03pm
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Mr. Right was sort of...well...right. Don't get emotionally invested before you've even asked someone out. And realize that being rejected when someone doesn't know you, isn't something to be taken personally.

If you're crying at rejection, the confidence isn't there, no matter what you think. And...

You're in hunting mode. Women can smell that a mile away. A doe is attracted to a buck, not a wolf. You can't make them like you, they will or they won't.

You want some answers ? Fill out your profile, post a picture, and ask the nice Ladies here what you can try.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #10  August 12,2009, 6:17pm
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Try reading the book Dating for Dummies
 
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