International differences in dating (Aussies and Brits, please read!) :-)


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eHA_Admin_Lori is offline eHA_Admin_Lori — Advice Official Moderator Post #61  August 14,2009, 11:27am
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CaymanGirl wrote :
I'm Irish and lived in London for many years, now live in the Caribbean.

In Ireland we dont 'date' like its understood in America. In America to 'date' means its ok to see multiple people at the same time, even sexually at the same time. In Ireland that is cheating!
Really, what happens is you meet someone and then arrange to meet again and/or swop phone numbers, the arrangement to meet again isnt usually structured as a 'date' like its understood in the U.S., its more casual, after that casual meeting a more 'date like' meeting happens.
Its understood and expected that both parties are single and not meeting anyone else for dinner, if you learned that the guy who asked you for coffee was sleeping with another woman it would make him a complete slease in my culture.
That is really interesting! So, no concurrent dating in Ireland, it's: meet, go out, if you like each other go out more formally but while you're doing that you don't see anyone else - presumably you will either commit to that person or it doesn't work out and you stop seeing that person, then start seeing another one person.

It actually sounds so much less complicated than the multi-dating we do here in the US!
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #62  August 14,2009, 11:57am
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CaymanGirl wrote :
I
In Ireland we dont 'date' like its understood in America. In America to 'date' means its ok to see multiple people at the same time, even sexually at the same time. In Ireland that is cheating!
Really, what happens is you meet someone and then arrange to meet again and/or swop phone numbers, the arrangement to meet again isnt usually structured as a 'date' like its understood in the U.S., its more casual, after that casual meeting a more 'date like' meeting happens.
Its understood and expected that both parties are single and not meeting anyone else for dinner, if you learned that the guy who asked you for coffee was sleeping with another woman it would make him a complete slease in my culture.
Well maybe not in my culture but to me if a guy was sleeping with another woman and dating me he would be a complete s*l*e*a*z*e in my book too.

I really think you guys have it much easier. I hate to say this but common decency is not necessarily an earmark of American culture.
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #63  August 14,2009, 12:05pm
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gothustartus wrote :
After coming back from California one time i saw that Tom Cruise movie with the whole "Show me the money" bit in it, and i was struck by how appropriate it was. While i was out there people went out of their way to show how much they had and how much they could spend, or even waste, like the more that passed through their hands the better a person they were or something.
Ok we're talking Hollywood here so it's not exactly representative, but to give an example...
I was staying in a hostel in the Hollywood hills because i love backpacking and loathe package holidays and hey, it was a month of partying. No one there thought anything about walking the short distance down the freeway to the Boulevard, we'd been warned about the buses after all, and it was only a ten minute walk.
One day a couple of German girls were walking down the freeway when a bunch of guys in a pick-up pulled up, casually mugged the girls and then drove off. Opportunity presented itself to make a quick buck and was taken without a second thought. All we'd been worrying about was getting run over, not robbed in broad daylight with hundreds of people driving past (and speeding up, not stopping) and the guns!!! What is it with everyone having to own anti tank artillery for hunting or self defense?!? I half expect butterfly collectors to use an Uzi.
Yeah people seem to think their possessions are their identity and how much money they have will make other people treat them better. the sad part is that to a certain extent its true. people are very biased against people that they perceive to be of lower economic status. i noticed in the uk that everyone is pretty much treated equally whether you are wearing jeans and a sweater or an armani suit.

i think its self protection more than anything with the guns. either that or you're a criminal
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #64  August 14,2009, 12:12pm
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gothustartus wrote :
We do tip, but for good service more than anything else, not by default.
i cant remember when i have had good service in england. i just know that i get charged extra to eat in at starbucks and they also charge for refills. the place is a mess and on top of it all they have the little tip thingy. um no. no tip for you for taking my money.


 
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meri75 is offline meri75 Post #65  August 14,2009, 3:38pm
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Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
While it is not an everyday occurance, we frequently have bears in the city (Orlando, FL) and Orlando is not a rural area. There are also raccoons and opossums that live in the city.
You mean a proper big bear? Wow - how freaky. Do they follow the smell of garbage or discarded food into the city?
 
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cp30 is offline cp30 Post #66  August 14,2009, 3:56pm

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I worked in a pub in London...much bigger city than I am from. Easily there was more crime there than where I came from (though probably fewer guns) and I saw men cheating on their wives all the time. I certainly would not say that the English have any hold on "decency" or morality.

And, I did take Amtrak across the US

I definitley found London to be similiar to our bigger cities when it comes to dating. Though, I was engaged to a guy from Holland, this is where I saw bigger differences.

Of course we have cultural differences with other countries, but I really think Australia, England and America have much more in common than different when it comes to dating.
 
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CaymanGirl is offline CaymanGirl Post #67  August 24,2009, 9:25am
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eHA_Admin_Lori wrote :
That is really interesting! So, no concurrent dating in Ireland, it's: meet, go out, if you like each other go out more formally but while you're doing that you don't see anyone else - presumably you will either commit to that person or it doesn't work out and you stop seeing that person, then start seeing another one person.

It actually sounds so much less complicated than the multi-dating we do here in the US!
Meeting someone new in Ireland isnt perfect either, the two parties are understood to be single and available, with no one else involved but what can happen is that an ex wasnt ended properly so they are still in the picture somewhat, but to be romantic on any level with two people at the same time is not cool at all in Irish culture.

Also, because there is less structure in by comparison to America of being asked out and the concept of 'dating' being understood between the two people, in Ireland what happens is people are unsure of where they stand exactly emotionally with the other. In America you would know, we are 'just' 'dating'.

I dont understand how or why American culture seems to pretend that emotions and hopes are not involved with a romantic liaison, 'its just dating', and with 'dating' as its understood in American culture, emotions on hold, seems to be the concept that has to be accepted, I dont fully get it.

Morally and ethically I dont fully get it either, especially sexually, how can you be sincere with more than one person?

Also, there is less emphasis on the man doing all the paying, though it does exist just not with the same emphasis.
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #68  August 24,2009, 9:56am
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cp30 wrote :
I worked in a pub in London...much bigger city than I am from. Easily there was more crime there than where I came from (though probably fewer guns) and I saw men cheating on their wives all the time. I certainly would not say that the English have any hold on "decency" or morality.

.
yeah my observations were really more from a relatively equivalent city rather than one where there would probably be less crime. i feel much safer in london than i do los angeles (where i was born)

and i dont feel very much less safe in elephant and castle than i do in mayfair. i feel MUCH less safe in watts/compton than i do in dtla

and i once overheard two brits talking on a train and they seemed to perceive themselves to be one of the most civilized nations in the world. random, but i would have to agree with them.
Last edited by Nanette; August 24,2009 at 9:58am.
 
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gothustartus is offline gothustartus Post #69  August 24,2009, 10:11am
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Nanette wrote :
yeah my observations were really more from a relatively equivalent city rather than one where there would probably be less crime. i feel much safer in london than i do los angeles (where i was born)

and i dont feel very much less safe in elephant and castle than i do in mayfair. i feel MUCH less safe in watts/compton than i do in dtla

and i once overheard two brits talking on a train and they seemed to perceive themselves to be one of the most civilized nations in the world. random, but i would have to agree with them.
Jeez!!! What were you doing at the Elephant? I live near there and i sure as hell avoid it if i can.
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #70  August 24,2009, 10:32am
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gothustartus wrote :
Jeez!!! What were you doing at the Elephant? I live near there and i sure as hell avoid it if i can.
lol theres a really inexpensive place to stay on new kent road that i have grown fond of.

the first time i was there was in the early 1990s so it has changed a lot, unfortunately, but i still like it. if only they would open that tesco at the shopping center on sundays already!
 
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