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itsabeatutifulday itsabeatutifulday is offline
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Here goes, sure could use a little advice. I am confused....I had been emailing a guy from match for a couple weeks, hadn't talked yet. We had been emailing at least every couple of days, sometimes once a day. He stopped writing about 2 weeks ago, so I thought he had probably meet someone or the didn't like my suggestion of chatting by phone a couple times before we met.

Anyway today, I got a very long email from him saying he had just returned from a vacation/reunion with his family and asking for my phone number so we can talk. He has recently moved to back to his hometown in the midwest from CA after having been laid off. I live near his hometown.

Does the fact he disappeared for 2 weeks mean he is a bad risk and I should move on? Thanks
- August 11th, 2009, 07:45 pm
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flgal flgal is offline
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I find it VERY odd that he wouldn't let you know that he'd be gone BEFORE he left. I definitely think you should move on.
- August 11th, 2009, 07:58 pm
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brneyedangel brneyedangel is online now
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flgal wrote :
I find it VERY odd that he wouldn't let you know that he'd be gone BEFORE he left. I definitely think you should move on.
I don't necessarily agree. First of all, you're not involved in a relationship, so he's really not obligated to say anything that he doesn't wish to say. Secondly, it could be that he had the intention to let you know, but time got away from him and he just didn't have the opportunity to contact you before he made this move. I know that when I've moved in the past, no matter how much planning I did, things didn't always go according to plan and I wasn't always able to do everything I wished to do before moving day came. I also feel the fact that he has contacted you, shared where he's been, and asked for your number says a lot.

I'd be inclined to give him the benefit of the doubt in this situation. However, if you should see a repetition of this sort of thing in other behaviors, then you might want to rethink things.

Best wishes to you.
- August 11th, 2009, 08:03 pm
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emerraald emerraald is offline
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I agree with BA, give it a try and start talking on the phone. He will propably tell you about his mia for 2 weeks.
- August 11th, 2009, 08:14 pm
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CreolePrincess CreolePrincess is offline
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If his explanation sounds plausible, then give him a shot. Even if it seems like maybe it was a cruddy thing to do, cut him some slack since the relationship is still developing. There could be more factors involved that he didn't include in his email, and everyone is prone to making one mistake. However, if it seems like this is going to be a continued pattern, then cut your losses and move on.
- August 11th, 2009, 09:31 pm
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Sweetyflea Sweetyflea is offline
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brneyedangel wrote :
I don't necessarily agree. First of all, you're not involved in a relationship, so he's really not obligated to say anything that he doesn't wish to say. Secondly, it could be that he had the intention to let you know, but time got away from him and he just didn't have the opportunity to contact you before he made this move. I know that when I've moved in the past, no matter how much planning I did, things didn't always go according to plan and I wasn't always able to do everything I wished to do before moving day came. I also feel the fact that he has contacted you, shared where he's been, and asked for your number says a lot.

I'd be inclined to give him the benefit of the doubt in this situation. However, if you should see a repetition of this sort of thing in other behaviors, then you might want to rethink things.

Best wishes to you.

I have to agree, he's not in a relationship with you so there is no obligation for him to tell (inform) you where and what he's doing before he left. At least he did email you back, unlike if it was a month later and he sends you an email back, that's a total red flag right there. It does say a lot in telling you where he's been in the last 2 weeks.
- August 11th, 2009, 09:51 pm
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angelofmerci angelofmerci is offline
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Most definitely give him a try. You really have nothing to lose but this could turn into something potentially good. Good luck
- August 11th, 2009, 11:46 pm
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Teacherman25 Teacherman25 is offline
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Of course he is interested...he wouldn't have emailed you if he wasn't.

Now my concern would be this.... Is he "toying" with a recent ex-gf? Anytime someone disappears for an extended time (longer than a week) and then all of the sudden reappears and seems "excited and ready to go" again, I believe there is always that risk of the EH person being the "plan B" person.

Certainly talk to the guy and if you like how that goes, go meet him. You never know what can happen and it would be foolish to throw away a possibly great thing over something as potentially small as this.
- August 12th, 2009, 12:00 am
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IcecreamMoon IcecreamMoon is offline
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IcecreamMoon Nothing to see here at all...

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I'm not commenting here until I get the uniqueness of my avatar back!
- August 12th, 2009, 01:57 am
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lil_lamb lil_lamb is offline
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two weeks is a blink of an eye. it sounds like y'all had been communicating long enough, as to where real life could no longer be held at bay. i wouldn't take that to mean anything.
- August 12th, 2009, 02:27 am
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