What to say when you get rejected?


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FengShuiBlackBelt is offline FengShuiBlackBelt Post #71  August 12,2009, 11:16am
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gothustartus wrote :
I do know people who demand to know the reason, but they're nuts because they seem to think that browbeating someone who has already turned them down is going to change minds.
Especially if they're of the wrong orientation for you in the first place.

First dude: Will you go out with me?
Second dude: Sorry, I don't swing that way.
First dude: You're just not secure in your sexuality.

Give me a freakin' break.
 
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IcecreamMoon is offline IcecreamMoon Post #72  August 12,2009, 2:40pm
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FengShuiBlackBelt wrote :
I like the way you think. Sex should always be mutually beneficial, not one person doing the other a favor and expecting material compensation for it. It may suck to hear it, but the latter is nothing more than prostitution.
How nice to have another lover of women around here... are we all prostitutes with a sense of entitlement? I think you must have forgotten to add that forgeone conclusion.

I really feel sorry for the men. They should just buy themselves a blow up doll and stay as far away from real women as possible - who needs so much hassle and all that prostitution and entitlement, to which those poor men make absolutely no contribution!
 
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cp30 is offline cp30 Post #73  August 12,2009, 2:55pm

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bwr wrote :
Dude, I think it's safe to say you struck out big time. She probably, like many women, get hit on by men all the time. She probably got annoyed that you seemed just like another guy trying to get in her pants - "yawn".

You showed too much weakness, and she sensed it. You can't give women the impression you struggled and had to fight your fear of rejection to weakly ask her to go to dinner.

You need to give women the impression that you are sincerely interested in getting to know them and have fun, and that you are in no hurry to get in their pants.

What you should have done is simply say "BTW, my name is .". Then if she responds smiling making eye contact with you responding with her name, then say "Well , I really enjoyed meeting you and talking to you." Then wait for her to respond. If she says smiling "I really enjoyed talking to you too", then say "I would really enjoy talking to you again. Do you have a phone number or email address where I can contact you, or else I can give you mine.".

If she at some point in that conversation has a hesitated look, or doesn't respond positively with a smile at any point in the conversation, then just drop it right there and say "It was great meeting you. Have a wonderful day". Then walk away and leave her be.

If she keeps responding positively to each step, then keep working towards getting her number.
Okay, BWR and I don't always see eye to eye. But this is right on.

Mark, I cannot judge you, I don't know you at all.

But this is the number one reason a woman would respond that way. And it is easier than you think to be that "guy" even if you are and think you are just being a nice guy.

If you give a woman a feeling that you just want a woman....any woman that fits your requirments (and I've seen you list yours before...they are fairly generic and one of them was slender, one out of 4). A woman can SMELL that.

She is not going to feel special if she thinks your just asking out every woman that meets some superficial list of requirements...if you had built little to no report with her, she will likely feel this way. It can also make you look a little desperate....

Chritian Carter is a bit of a controversial author/salesman.....but he has made one good point that sticks with me. I refer to it as the "ew" the "ew" is the feeling we get when someone puts us off....big time.

Women get the "ew" when they feel a guy gives off that creepy desperate vibe or he pressures her for sex too soon. Men get the "ew" when pressured for comittment or marriage too soon (reportedly). When Christian Carter put it in those terms I understand what men feel when they get the "ew" because it is born of the same type of need/desperation that no one wants any part of.

If a date is truly a "favor" as Dlion suggests....then you are giving the other person the feeling it will be mutually beneficial and enjoyable and no pressure, just getting to know each other as two seperate and whole indivduals.....not a means to an end.

Again...not judging you, I dont know you! But I have experienced exactly what BWR describes and its a big reason this happens to guys, I believe. Even if you do have good intentions.

I think that some men have a hard time thinking of women as people....instead of objects to be acquired (cliche, but true)
 
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IcecreamMoon is offline IcecreamMoon Post #74  August 12,2009, 3:32pm
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cp30 wrote :
I think that some men have a hard time thinking of women as people....instead of objects to be acquired (cliche, but true)
Feels nice to be a woman sometimes, doesn't it?

"Ew" is about the only thing on which I agree with the honorable Christian Carter, but I get that feeling when I'm pressured into anything by a guy, not just sex. And sometimes I get that feeling even without being pressured, but luckily it happens rarely in real life

And I truly do believe that the Frog was joking about favors. I have faith in him - for all his excel based principles, I think deep down he likes the Ladies. even if only during Happy Hours.
 
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hazmat is offline hazmat Post #75  August 12,2009, 6:42pm
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[quote=MarkInAustin;707772] It has happened at least 4 times that I can remember, and no, it was with different women.


Well...on the bright side, after getting shot down 5 times you'll be an ace...wait that's backwards...
Last edited by hazmat; August 12,2009 at 6:43pm. Reason: screwed up
 
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ThePriestess is offline ThePriestess Post #76  August 12,2009, 11:59pm
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IcecreamMoon wrote :
And practice public speaking?
Nah, just a good thing to do regardless of the situation.
 
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