Would you continue to pursue the relationship...


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butterflywhisperer is offline butterflywhisperer Post #21  August 10,2009, 8:06pm
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I agree with icecream moon on this when it comes to actually going out with a person versus "Internet" for lack of a better word i.e. not having met yet, dating. After a couple of dates one should be able to ascertain whether they want to see the person again and decide, so dating someone else at the same time after those first few dates with you is what I'd consider to be 'serial dating'. If you haven't actually met and gone out then all bets are off, as far as I am concerned. The field is open and everything's fair in love and... well, you know... JMHO.
 
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Sweetyflea is offline Sweetyflea Post #22  August 10,2009, 8:53pm
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uh....that's odd??

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pukeko wrote :
if you knew or have a hint that the person you are getting to know is in a relationship or dating someone else?
Would you?
If your just dating and not in a committed relationship yet, than that's a different story continue dating around, but if you have interest in this person and would like to continue to date this person with possible relationship then found out he's still in a relationship with another person, I would not go there, even if the person's relationship was coming to an end. If I found out (didn't care if its a hint) that the guy I was dating is still in a relationship with somebody else, I would walk out, revert my eyes away from him and move on, because there are more better matches out there for me and this has trouble written all over it. There will be consent drama because he' s cheating on his girl and I would be labeled as rebound girl or worse if the guy's previous relationship does end. What if he did the same thing to me with another women? I won't want to be the woman with a broken heart. That kind of relationship is not worth pursuing. There are better matches out there with potential for a relationship, just continue to date around.
Last edited by Sweetyflea; August 10,2009 at 9:14pm.
 
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pukeko is offline pukeko Post #23  August 12,2009, 6:22pm
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it seems that the consensus among the men is to date as many women as they can. i am getting that the women feel quite the contrary.
 
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Mr_Right is offline Mr_Right Post #24  August 12,2009, 6:32pm
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pukeko wrote :
it seems that the consensus among the men is to date as many women as they can. i am getting that the women feel quite the contrary.
It's a shame, because women should be meeting as many men as they can too. Widen the selection pool.
 
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Sweetyflea is offline Sweetyflea Post #25  August 12,2009, 7:59pm
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uh....that's odd??

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Mr_Right wrote :
It's a shame, because women should be meeting as many men as they can too. Widen the selection pool.
I agree there should be an equal consenus that both men and women should be dating more often than the other, but you have traditions that men and women follow in courtship.
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #26  August 12,2009, 8:10pm
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pukeko wrote :
it seems that the consensus among the men is to date as many women as they can. i am getting that the women feel quite the contrary.
If by "dating" you mean getting to know lots of guys you really neeeed to! Remember that the guy that is going to be crazy about you wants to meet you also!
 
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Jacquesne is offline Jacquesne Post #27  August 12,2009, 8:16pm
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I think it depends on what you mean by "dating." To me you can "date" as many people at a time as you want (or handle ) as long as you aren't exclusive with anyone of them. Once the relationship becomes exclusive all the others are off. I tend to only date one or two people at once at most just because I tend to be pretty busy and that's about all I can handle but if she's dating other guys I don't really have any authority to tell her otherwise. If she's exclusive with any of them then I'm not going to date her and I would expect the same in return.

While some people are comfortable with sexual activity before exclusivity I personally don't feel comfortable with this. If we're sexually active I've already established exclusivity and I try and make sure this is clear. If she's sexually active with others while I'm dating her I consider that exclusive and probably won't date her because of it. That's just my own personal value and if others don't share it that's perfectly fine. I just won't be involved .

But if a girl is just dating another guy I'll continue to go for it until she makes an exclusive choice. Dating doesn't indicate any real commitment beyond what friendship would include. It's only once things progress beyond that level that the rules change in my mind.

Jacquesne
 
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goveg22 is offline goveg22 Post #28  August 12,2009, 9:23pm
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Um...very shaky territory. If you have a hint or even a gut feeling that the person is taken, I wouldn't invest time or energy...or help that person cheat... O.o
 
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olneyjeeps is offline olneyjeeps Post #29  August 12,2009, 11:11pm
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Jacquesne wrote :
I think it depends on what you mean by "dating." To me you can "date" as many people at a time as you want (or handle ) as long as you aren't exclusive with anyone of them. Once the relationship becomes exclusive all the others are off. I tend to only date one or two people at once at most just because I tend to be pretty busy and that's about all I can handle but if she's dating other guys I don't really have any authority to tell her otherwise. If she's exclusive with any of them then I'm not going to date her and I would expect the same in return.

While some people are comfortable with sexual activity before exclusivity I personally don't feel comfortable with this. If we're sexually active I've already established exclusivity and I try and make sure this is clear. If she's sexually active with others while I'm dating her I consider that exclusive and probably won't date her because of it. That's just my own personal value and if others don't share it that's perfectly fine. I just won't be involved .

But if a girl is just dating another guy I'll continue to go for it until she makes an exclusive choice. Dating doesn't indicate any real commitment beyond what friendship would include. It's only once things progress beyond that level that the rules change in my mind.

Jacquesne
Once again, I seem to almost totally agree with you (so much easier to let you type)... my variation is that for me (call me old fashioned) exclusivity starts at the first kiss.
 
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pukeko is offline pukeko Post #30  August 13,2009, 5:12am
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yeah so much about tradition. hmm...men also think it's okay to sex with more than women, eh. perhaps women should do this too, eh.

Sweetyflea wrote :
I agree there should be an equal consenus that both men and women should be dating more often than the other, but you have traditions that men and women follow in courtship.
 
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