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nixxie nixxie is offline
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I had been communicating with my eH match for 3 weeks now and every thing seems to be going so well. We live in different states and there's already talk of meeting in the future. The last few days I have been sick and he sends me a pic of him in front of the mirror holding flowers. Initially, I thought it was so sweet until I saw a ring on his fourth finger on the left hand. He had told me from the beginning that he was divorced for a year now. As far as I know, divorced men do not wear wedding rings. I asked him directly if he's married but he keeps on saying he is divorced. He said it was a ring given to him by his grandfather that had passed. But why wear it there? Or if he's just holding in to his ring why not just say so? I immediately cut off communication because I'm afraid that he's really married and just lied in his profile. Are there divorced men still wearing their wedding rings? I really thought I found the perfect match for me. It really is very disappointing. I can't believe this happened to me.
- August 9th, 2009, 08:10 pm
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j0hn8andy j0hn8andy is offline
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j0hn8andy .....Take off the Rings.....That's the Goal.....

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If it's just a pic, how do you know it's not reversed? Especially with a mirror! Is it barely possible you made a mistake?
- August 11th, 2009, 05:17 pm
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OverAnalyzer OverAnalyzer is offline
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OverAnalyzer is doing something completely different

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nixxie wrote :
I had been communicating with my eH match for 3 weeks now and every thing seems to be going so well. We live in different states and there's already talk of meeting in the future. The last few days I have been sick and he sends me a pic of him in front of the mirror holding flowers. Initially, I thought it was so sweet until I saw a ring on his fourth finger on the left hand. He had told me from the beginning that he was divorced for a year now. As far as I know, divorced men do not wear wedding rings. I asked him directly if he's married but he keeps on saying he is divorced. He said it was a ring given to him by his grandfather that had passed. But why wear it there? Or if he's just holding in to his ring why not just say so? I immediately cut off communication because I'm afraid that he's really married and just lied in his profile. Are there divorced men still wearing their wedding rings? I really thought I found the perfect match for me. It really is very disappointing. I can't believe this happened to me.
Maybe it's the only finger it fits on.

Nothing happened to you, you closed him out because you thought he was not telling you the truth. Now you will not know for sure, will you?
- August 11th, 2009, 06:12 pm
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chawks64 chawks64 is offline
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chawks64 can finally put country music back n the lineup again.

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I probably would have asked first. No sense in making decisions based on assumptions.
- August 11th, 2009, 07:00 pm
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funnyengineergal funnyengineergal is offline
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My dad is has been married to my mom for 42 years and counting... He wore his wedding band an approximate 700 days before turning it over to my mom cause he hates to wear jewelery... As married as can be and no ring to show for it.

My favorite ring is one that my grandma gave my mom when she turned 15 and I kind of "inherited" it from my mom. It looks just like an engagement ring (really nice central pink stone, the most gorgeous red gold setting... dreamy). It only fits the ring finger of my left hand. I wear it around, but only on fourth or greater dates or when I know I don't want to attract men...

Rings can get us going in all sorts of funky directions, huh???

I'd say just wait until you meet the guy, and see how you feel in person. Right now it's all smoke and mirrors... And yes, confront him with the ring question (ask the real question you want to ask, not a sideways question). The pause before delivering an answer, plus the answer itself, should tell you if he's telling the truth.

Me
- August 11th, 2009, 07:07 pm
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chawks64 chawks64 is offline
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chawks64 can finally put country music back n the lineup again.

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funnyengineergal wrote :
My dad is has been married to my mom for 42 years and counting... He wore his wedding band an approximate 700 days before turning it over to my mom cause he hates to wear jewelery... As married as can be and no ring to show for it.

My favorite ring is one that my grandma gave my mom when she turned 15 and I kind of "inherited" it from my mom. It looks just like an engagement ring (really nice central pink stone, the most gorgeous red gold setting... dreamy). It only fits the ring finger of my left hand. I wear it around, but only on fourth or greater dates or when I know I don't want to attract men...

Rings can get us going in all sorts of funky directions, huh???

I'd say just wait until you meet the guy, and see how you feel in person. Right now it's all smoke and mirrors... And yes, confront him with the ring question (ask the real question you want to ask, not a sideways question). The pause before delivering an answer, plus the answer itself, should tell you if he's telling the truth.

Me
Yes!

I thought I was the only one that asks the scary questions. I guess I'm just more blunt than most, but it's nice to know it's not just me.
- August 11th, 2009, 07:11 pm
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butterflywhisperer butterflywhisperer is offline
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Methinks you acted too impulsively, especially for someone whom you thought was the perfect match. I hear your concerns and rightly so but there can be a variety of valid explanations such as those expressed by others here. Did you see the early photos of our President (Obama, that is), for example? He was photographed in his teens wearing what looks like a standard wedding band on his left ring finger. Why? Who knows, but he wasn't married at the time. That's one instance that comes to mind. The fact that it is a long distance relationship and that he could be lying is also valid. If you have his first and last name, then I think it might behoove you to pay for one of those background search firms and find out for yourself. Whether your impulses were right and he is, indeed, married or whether humble pie is on the menu. Good luck!
- August 11th, 2009, 07:17 pm
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angelofmerci angelofmerci is offline
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I know when I got divorced I could not take the ring off fast enough. I think you should have asked him to explain why he is still wearing his wedding ring and then gone from there. Now it is too late.
- August 12th, 2009, 12:27 am
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winn winn is offline
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winn dinner and conversation with good friends is a good thing.

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Did it ever occur to you that it was not a wedding band and that he was telling you the truth? People wear different rings on different fingers for many different reasons. I just gave my son his father's wedding band and he put it on his middle finger of his right hand only because his father had larger fingers than he has and it was the only finger the ring would fit on. Perhaps the ring finger of the left hand is the only finger that ring fit on.

You jumped to conclusions which is really too bad.
- August 12th, 2009, 01:17 am
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IcecreamMoon IcecreamMoon is offline
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IcecreamMoon Nothing to see here at all...

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winn wrote :
Did it ever occur to you that it was not a wedding band and that he was telling you the truth? People wear different rings on different fingers for many different reasons. I just gave my son his father's wedding band and he put it on his middle finger of his right hand only because his father had larger fingers than he has and it was the only finger the ring would fit on. Perhaps the ring finger of the left hand is the only finger that ring fit on.

You jumped to conclusions which is really too bad.
Great point!

Seeing a ring on a photograph may be something to keep in mind and ask more questions in person, but I'd say it's a bit unreasonable to cut off all communication with someone, who could end up being your partner, especially when he told you that he is divorced.

Sure, he could be lying, but from what I've seen, most married men actually take off their wedding rings when fishing for an affair, and he could have easily done that prior to posing for that photo... so I'd say that he is either not very smart or telling you the truth.
- August 12th, 2009, 02:30 am
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