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Fleuellen is offline Fleuellen Post #1  August 9,2009, 7:00am
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I think the whole players/nice guys thing needs a new thread.

[COLOR=black][FONT=Cambria][FONT=Arial]I feel this disparity is predicated on attitudes to deceit as much as behavior. I mean, the difference isn’t that one have multi-able relationships and the other has none. I would imagine certain problems with someone who has no friends; boredom for a start. So is a “player” must be someone who presents as dull, but is actually interesting. Or maybe just fails to disclose the myriad of relationships they may have. And which you mightn’t quite understand anyway.
Last edited by Fleuellen; August 9,2009 at 7:02am.
 
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boccabum is offline boccabum Post #2  August 9,2009, 7:06am
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Yep...you're a player.
You open your arms to the possibilities of a myriad of diverse people who match your diverse interests all the while, being open and honest about yourself. How horrible.
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #3  August 9,2009, 7:17am
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...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

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What you've described basically sounds like you meet and date a lot of people. I think the definition of what most people on this site would call a player contains another key element that you haven't described. This is a man who does what you do with no intention of any future relationship with any of the women but is meeting all them for the sole purpose of having sex.

Another thing that people complain about is men lieing to women to get them into bed. However, I've known men who are players but don't ever lie to women, so I think this is a separate factor.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #4  August 9,2009, 7:30am
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jayjay wrote :
What you've described basically sounds like you meet and date a lot of people. I think the definition of what most people on this site would call a player contains another key element that you haven't described. This is a man who does what you do with no intention of any future relationship with any of the women but is meeting all them for the sole purpose of having sex.

Another thing that people complain about is men lieing to women to get them into bed. However, I've known men who are players but don't ever lie to women, so I think this is a separate factor.
A player is someone (never heard "player" being used to describe a female) who views a woman as a conquest. Once he has achieved his goal (it could be sex or may not be) he is no longer interested and is off to seek his next conquest.

When not in an exclusive relationship dating multiple women or having female friends with whom you enjoying doing things with does not a player make as long as you are not leading them to believe that there is something more to the relationship than just friendship.
Last edited by Gr8Guyn2008; August 9,2009 at 7:33am. Reason: add information
 
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waypoint_finder is offline waypoint_finder Post #5  August 9,2009, 7:40am

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Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
A player is someone (never heard "player" being used to describe a female) who views a woman as a conquest. Once he has achieved his goal (it could be sex or may not be) he is no longer interested and is off to seek his next conquest.
.
So, you've never met women who gave the illusion of interest while their true motivation was hidden? Players come in both genders.
 
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LizziePooh is offline LizziePooh Post #6  August 9,2009, 7:41am

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A player is someone who deceives to get what he/she wants.

Men that do not want a relationship or not a committed relationship are not players.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #7  August 9,2009, 8:27am
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waypoint_finder wrote :
So, you've never met women who gave the illusion of interest while their true motivation was hidden? Players come in both genders.
That is not what I said. I said that I have never heard the term player used to describe a woman.
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #8  August 9,2009, 8:45am
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wrote :
he seemed a twit so I got over it.
lol
 
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OverAnalyzer is offline OverAnalyzer Post #9  August 9,2009, 8:56am
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Sorry...it doesn't sound to me like you are a player, more like you are dating and hanging out with friends. However, what they think and feel about what you do is out of your control.

Today's "player" is maybe yesterday's "gigolo"? My understanding now is a player is anyone who has professed to one they are in a relationship, then goes around professing the same to others for the sole reason of self-gratification.

I also thought - before reading a few threads today - a player was one who messed with one person but didn't necessarily have others at the same time. I guess I was wrong. And from your post, you don't fall into either para 2 or para 3. Just a guy doing things on the level.
 
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chawks64 is offline chawks64 Post #10  August 9,2009, 9:09am
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Being a player usually involves some form of deception. If you are honest with everyone involved about dating more than one person, that's not being a player, that's just "dating".
 
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