Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #1  August 9,2009, 6:42am
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I'm crippled by the fear That I've fallen too far to love

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I have a match whose profile is just atrocious. Should I go through GC so that I could try and help her improve her profile or should I just close her out.

FYI based on what is in her profile I don't consider that we would be a particularly good match. Though if it had been written with decent English I would have probably sent First Questions.
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #2  August 9,2009, 6:54am
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I closed due to uneducated illiteracy in profiles, but I communicated with women who appeared to be non-native speakers. Profiles which are simply sparse or display little imagination I also communicated with – many of these were new to online dating, or had only just signed up.
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waypoint_finder is offline waypoint_finder Post #3  August 9,2009, 7:35am

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I wouldn't bother. She'll probably think you like her just to find out that in the end you did it just to correct something.
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #4  August 9,2009, 9:45am
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Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
I have a match whose profile is just atrocious. Should I go through GC so that I could try and help her improve her profile or should I just close her out.

FYI based on what is in her profile I don't consider that we would be a particularly good match. Though if it had been written with decent English I would have probably sent First Questions.
I laughed when I saw this. Its incredibly thoughtful of you.
fast track sounds good
 
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Wonderwoman402 is offline Wonderwoman402 Post #5  August 9,2009, 9:46am
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As a woman, if I received a profile like that I'd just close it. I doubt we'd be compatible, and most people don't take kindly to getting grammar and spelling lessons from strangers... especially a stranger they were maybe hoping to date.

It's not my job to save other people from their own deficiencies.
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #6  August 9,2009, 9:54am
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...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

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No. While she might benefit from help and your intentions are good, it's also presumptuous and condescending.
 
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brneyedangel is offline brneyedangel Post #7  August 9,2009, 10:12am
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would very much appreciate it if the rain would stop, now! Thanks!

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While I think your heart is in the right place, I don't think she'll take it the right way. Spell and grammar checks are available in most word processing packages, so really, there is no excuse to not take the time and check these things out when it comes to a profile. If she doesn't take the time to do that, then that reflects upon her and what she thinks is important.
 
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Oregon_Coast_Guy is offline Oregon_Coast_Guy Post #8  August 9,2009, 11:48am
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Wow Gr8, I'm really suprised that out of all people in this forum, you are the person that wrote asking this quesiton. In fact, I keep scrolling back up to make sure.

Just imagine how you would feel in this scenario: A woman initiates communication with you, and you find her to be a great match. The closer you get to OC, the more of a connection you feel is there. However, once you got to OC, you received this:

"Dear Gr8guy:

I have to be perfectly honest with you: I do not think that we are a good match. The reason that I went through all these steps to communicate with you is because I think your profile could stand to use some improvement.

However, since I would still like for you to have success on eHarmony, here are the speicifics on what needs to be improved and some suggestions on how to implement those improvements...

I do apologize if I have lead you on. Please know that I did not do this out of malice or ill will, but rather to help you improve the image of your profile, so that you are better able to attract that special match that may be out there waiting for you. You do, in fact, seem like a "great guy." If you would still like to maintain contact with and become friends, I would like that very much. However, I completely understand if you want nothing more to do with me.

Wishing you all the best,
Gr8guy's match"

While the wording of this letter was polite, is it, in fact, actually polite? Would doing this be helpful, or would it be cruel?

And how would you respond to someone who joined the forums asking this question:

"I had a match initiate communication with me. I checked them out and they were good looking and had a great profile. I answered back, and we went through all the stages of communication. However, their first OC letter to me bascially said that they weren't actually interested in me, but rather, interested in helping me to improve my profile.

So my question is: Is this normal behavior on eH? Have people experienced this before? Have you done this before? Should I expect more of this in the future?"
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #9  August 9,2009, 12:01pm
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^^^ lol

there is actually another way to look at it.

He's willing to help with no expectation of return

obviously i know nothing about her but she might be esl and appreciate it. who knows. eta: we actually have a TON of esl people in my area and I often have to ask questions to understand them and I will sometimes correct them. The people that really want to learn english are grateful for the help.

how she reacts is a reflection of her. as a woman, i personally would not send an email to a guy suggesting corrections on his profile but if someone did it to me i would first laugh and take it into consideration (if i wanted to) and say thanks if i had no other indication that there was any malicious intent.

in fact, i recently had a guy email me with something that was unsolicited. i know he was trying to help. did i flip out and get offended? no, i just told him thank you.


Last edited by Nanette; August 9,2009 at 5:41pm.
 
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j0hn8andy is offline j0hn8andy Post #10  August 9,2009, 12:12pm
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"No good deed goes unpunished."
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