Why do Men and Women Stay?


Reply
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
IcecreamMoon is offline IcecreamMoon Post #1  August 8,2009, 7:39pm
IcecreamMoon's Avatar

Nothing to see here at all...

Virtuoso

Joined: May 2009

Posts: 2,847

See profile

Ladies and Gentlemen,

I just had a look and we now have close to 80 posts on why Men and/or Women leave unhappy relationships/marriages.

Does anybody have anything to say about why Men and/or Women STAY in Happy Relationships?

What is it that motivates us to stay and make our relationships work, even during tough times?

Any personal experiences shared will be greatly appreciated and will hopefully serve to encourage even the greatest cynics amongst us...
 
  Reply With Quote
D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #2  August 8,2009, 7:42pm
D_Lion's Avatar

- Ladies want to wring my neck - you have been warned!

Sage

Joined: Aug 2008

Posts: 31,659

See profile

Good Kissing!
Last edited by D_Lion; August 8,2009 at 7:42pm. Reason: Frogs know all about kissing!
 
  Reply With Quote
happyquestion is offline happyquestion Post #3  August 8,2009, 7:54pm
happyquestion's Avatar

Quick Study

Joined: Jul 2009

Sydney, Australia

Posts: 154

See profile

she won't moderate me when i phaaart
 
  Reply With Quote
Diann1950 is offline Diann1950 Post #4  August 8,2009, 7:54pm
Diann1950's Avatar

Kid and dog sitting, have grand kids and dogs for the week.

Enthusiast

Joined: May 2009

Wichita Ks

Posts: 888

See profile

You stay because even when times are not so good, the relationship is still better than the alternative. In those times when you may not like each other too much, the memories of what was and with work may be again keeps you trying.
 
  Reply With Quote
IcecreamMoon is offline IcecreamMoon Post #5  August 8,2009, 7:57pm
IcecreamMoon's Avatar

Nothing to see here at all...

Virtuoso

Joined: May 2009

Posts: 2,847

See profile

D_Lion wrote :
Good Kissing!
I can see the point, so I'll play...

Now, how about you stop typing and "submitting" all kind of craziness in appropriate proportions and tell me more....
 
  Reply With Quote
IcecreamMoon is offline IcecreamMoon Post #6  August 8,2009, 8:02pm
IcecreamMoon's Avatar

Nothing to see here at all...

Virtuoso

Joined: May 2009

Posts: 2,847

See profile

Diann1950 wrote :
You stay because even when times are not so good, the relationship is still better than the alternative. In those times when you may not like each other too much, the memories of what was and with work may be again keeps you trying.
I don't know if I'd stay under the circumstances...
I have the view that there are always alternatives, if you choose to see them or bother to look for them. So, lack of options is never a good enough reason to stay. And to be honest, I would not want my partner to stay with me for that reason either.

I can probably write a novel here, but for now, I'll just summarize it all in one sentence:
I choose to stay because I want to stay.

That simple, as far as I'm concerned...
 
  Reply With Quote
happyquestion is offline happyquestion Post #7  August 8,2009, 8:12pm
happyquestion's Avatar

Quick Study

Joined: Jul 2009

Sydney, Australia

Posts: 154

See profile

IcecreamMoon wrote :
I can probably write a novel here, but for now, I'll just summarize it all in one sentence:
I choose to stay because I want to stay.
And why do you "want to" stay?

oh about the unmoderated phaaarting, it is a genuine experience of being accepted for who you are, its a nice feeling. Yes there are other things that makes me wanting to stay, but being accepted as who i am is a nice warm feeling that would keep my heart happy...
 
  Reply With Quote
IcecreamMoon is offline IcecreamMoon Post #8  August 8,2009, 8:17pm
IcecreamMoon's Avatar

Nothing to see here at all...

Virtuoso

Joined: May 2009

Posts: 2,847

See profile

happyquestion wrote :
And why do you "want to" stay?...
Wouldn't you like to know?

But I'm not saying until the Frog tells me more about Kissing!
 
  Reply With Quote
IcecreamMoon is offline IcecreamMoon Post #9  August 8,2009, 8:20pm
IcecreamMoon's Avatar

Nothing to see here at all...

Virtuoso

Joined: May 2009

Posts: 2,847

See profile

happyquestion wrote :
... being accepted as who i am is a nice warm feeling that would keep my heart happy...
Here is thte second part of my reply: Who are you?
(Other than Happy, Question, and happyquestion, of course)
 
  Reply With Quote
Wonderwoman402 is offline Wonderwoman402 Post #10  August 8,2009, 8:28pm
Wonderwoman40…'s Avatar

L'Chayim!

Virtuoso

Joined: Jan 2009

Omaha, NE

Posts: 4,495

See profile

IcecreamMoon wrote :
Does anybody have anything to say about why Men and/or Women STAY in Happy Relationships?
It is easy to stay in happy relationships. But I believe a lot of people stay in unhappy relationships due to duty, feelings of responsibility, financial ties, a feeling of history, because their spouse is ill and needs the health insurance they provide, fear of being alone, because they've been together for years and feel if they left those years would have been "wasted," for kids' sakes, for grandkids' sakes, because the dog is sick and needs them, fear of losing mutual friends, fear of losing status in the community, fear of damaging their reputation, fear of being cast as "the bad guy" for leaving, fear of having to give up half of their stuff and adjusting to a less affluent lifestyle, and fear of starting over.

Mostly, though, I think a lot of people stay in unhappy relationships because they've grown accustomed to it... it's comfortable to them even though they're not happy. It's a "known," and even though not great it's better than thinking about venturing into the unknown. They don't want to rock the boat by leaving. And it isn't all that bad... just tolerable enough that they can't justify leaving.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply


« Can you handle the truth!* | Dating | Summoning Courage While Sweating »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“Wow Legend, you have been through a lot! OP, about 2 months ago, I went gluten-free and dairy-free with the exception of an occasional greek yogurt with fruit a few times a week. My main reason why ... ” –  legend29

Join the “Living Without....” discussion

“ I did not discourage the OP from meeting him....just wanted her to also be sure to be safe and not throw caution to the wind. I hope she has a great time and posts to the board how successful her ... ” –  legend29

Join the “a match wants to meet me in a foreign country” discussion

“The perpetrator at my work has slowed their controlling ways a bit. But, I think the damage is done for some and she will never be anything but an annoyance to them. She's much quieter, though seems ... ” –  legend29

Join the “Who's the Boss?” discussion

“Oh, I forgot to give an example from my family of origin. Both my grandpa and my father had their own successful businesses. We lived together in a 4 floor building occupying different flats but we ... ” –  elliechris

Join the “When is friendship a problem” discussion

“Most anyone has been there I imagine. My advice is: don't over think it, it's all a numbers game (more for some than others), focus on your happiness/life, and work on your market value.” –  Raw_Truth

Join the “Very discouraged.” discussion

“ I figured it had something to do with that "hair gel" that Cameron Diaz was using in the movie "There's Something About Mary"...” –  Shelby

Join the “What kind of add you see on this board?” discussion

“I used to do this in my youth. A couple relevant factors likely were that I broke up with them, they would have liked to re-engage and I had poor boundaries--desperately wanting to stay friends. ... ” –  EccentricAmbiguity

Join the “Hold on, hold on, hold on!” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 5:29am.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0