how long you wait to ask a woman out?


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treeye is offline treeye Post #1  August 8,2009, 10:53am
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I assume if you two are emailing each other every day, then a week is a proper time to at least change phone number if not meet for coffee?

I've met guys who're actually not ready for a relationship, they're just looking for a chat buddy , then it'll take them weeks even months to ask me out.of course sometimes we'd a great connection via email but stopped emailing after we meet coz of no chemistry.

so how long will you wait to ask a woman out?
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #2  August 8,2009, 11:08am
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treeye wrote :
I assume if you two are emailing each other every day, then a week is a proper time to at least change phone number if not meet for coffee?

I've met guys who're actually not ready for a relationship, they're just looking for a chat buddy , then it'll take them weeks even months to ask me out.of course sometimes we'd a great connection via email but stopped emailing after we meet coz of no chemistry.

so how long will you wait to ask a woman out?
Within a week I'll ask to meet. If there were some type of extenuating circumstances I'd be willing to consider doing so later, but otherwise....why wait? You'll be investing more time, energy and emotion so the way I see it is you might as well get over the in person meeting hurdle right away. So far I haven't had any woman balk at meeting within about a week.
 
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boccabum is offline boccabum Post #3  August 8,2009, 11:16am
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I rarely meet women online (by choice) because I've found it easier to simply meet women in the real world. But when I did use EH and other sites, I didn't waste any time at all. After 1 or 2 emails, I'd get their phone number and after talking on the phone 1 or 2 times to see if they were someone I'd find interesting, I'd ask them out. Let me point out that almost 1/2 the time, I would be asked out by the WOMEN! Every time that happened, I was more than happy to go out with them and that the women who took initivative to ask me out were much more confident, happy with their lives, and more fun than the ones I had to chase. Maybe that was just coincidence, but for me, that is the reality. Outside of online dating, I've been asked out by a few ladies and had no problem with it. So what I'm saying is if you find a guy interesting, ask him for a meeting. Nothing wrong with it-ya know.
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #4  August 8,2009, 11:42am
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treeye wrote :
I assume if you two are emailing each other every day, then a week is a proper time to at least change phone number if not meet for coffee?

I've met guys who're actually not ready for a relationship, they're just looking for a chat buddy , then it'll take them weeks even months to ask me out.of course sometimes we'd a great connection via email but stopped emailing after we meet coz of no chemistry.

so how long will you wait to ask a woman out?
why worry about this? go to a tango party, take an art class, study french or Brazilian portugese, get a massage. enjoy life!
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #5  August 8,2009, 11:50am
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boccabum wrote :
I didn't waste any time at all. After 1 or 2 emails, I'd get their phone number and after talking on the phone 1 or 2 times to see if they were someone I'd find interesting, I'd ask them out. Let me point out that almost 1/2 the time, I would be asked out by the WOMEN! Every time that happened, I was more than happy to go out with them and that the women who took initivative to ask me out were much more confident, happy with their lives, and more fun than the ones I had to chase.

I used the same timing ... I asked right away how comfortable she was to meet quickly. I preferred not to have phone calls at all. If she was reluctant to meet right away (less than half), I would let them drag for awhile, but they would be at the back of my priority.

I haven't had nearly half the women suggesting meeting first, but I agree they were the best ones.

The faster women met, and the more initiating they did, the more interesting they proved to be.
 
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MarkInAustin is offline MarkInAustin Post #6  August 8,2009, 12:47pm
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I wait too long, and I'm not sure why. I guess I'm kind of busy, and I like to get to know them first. I don't know really...
 
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SierraMountainAir is offline SierraMountainAir Post #7  August 8,2009, 10:15pm
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D_Lion wrote :
I haven't had nearly half the women suggesting meeting first, but I agree they were the best ones.

The faster women met, and the more initiating they did, the more interesting they proved to be.

This is NOT a coincidence.
 
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DiamondDixie is offline DiamondDixie Post #8  August 8,2009, 10:57pm
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The whole idea for gals and guys here is to find someone, right? Finding someone surely involves MEETING them, correct? Asking to meet someone quickly is a good thing - meet for coffee - meet for a very quick lunch - SEE if you want to know the other person better. That's certainly what I do - and I'm honest about why as well - to see! Head 'em up and roll 'em out! Seriously, why waste time? Both should simply be honest with the outcome of the meet as well. If the chemistry isn't there it will be evident. And don't get hurt feelings if it isn't - finding a mate is the most important search you will ever participate in, so take care with your heart - probably the best reason to meet quickly. It isn't unusual to have the ability to chat with someone easily - even to like a person...then when you meet? Well, that is a disappointment when you realize only friendship is possible. But it's part of the journey. Enjoy that part too. So go ahead and call her! Or go ahead and email him! Take him/her for ice cream! Movie is certainly NOT a good idea - no talking allowed there. Good luck to you!
 
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Fleuellen is offline Fleuellen Post #9  August 8,2009, 11:11pm
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depends when you've a window in your diary. Really, you ask em out if you;d like to ask em out. Full stop. And goosh, don't go e-mailing anyone every day. You'll drive em nuts!
 
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treeye is offline treeye Post #10  August 9,2009, 4:27am
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I love this answer! thanks.

btw. I'm not a big fan of women asking men out, if a guy is hesitate to ask me out, say within two weeks. He's not ready for a relationship. period. lesson learned after wasting three months of my time for an eh match.


Nanette wrote :
why worry about this? go to a tango party, take an art class, study french or Brazilian portugese, get a massage. enjoy life!
 
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