Why women are the ones to leave...


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bigfincat is offline bigfincat Post #191  August 19,2010, 10:27am
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Mr_Right wrote :
Perhaps, what happens is the man doesn't realize what is going on, the woman gets more and more upset until she checks out, and then finally, the man then realizes "oh, there's a problem", but by that point, she's already gone.

What we have here is a failure to communicate.

From your example, you can't tell if the woman is effectively communicating her needs and desires to her man, or if she's not doing that.
Most problems in relationships are very visible. If people have an interest in seeing them they would see them.

I would never take the women in your scenario off the hook.

If you don't see the problems within your relationship then you aren't in it all that much.... which probably was a huge factor in the problems tp begin with.
 
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Sassafras54 is offline Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #192  August 19,2010, 10:42am
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bigfincat wrote :
Most problems in relationships are very visible. If people have an interest in seeing them they would see them.

I would never take the women in your scenario off the hook.

If you don't see the problems within your relationship then you aren't in it all that much.... which probably was a huge factor in the problems tp begin with.
That's an interesting POV. It's a truism (that's not always true) that it's easy to see what's "wrong" with another person ... *much* harder to see what's wrong with yourself.

I think that happens with relationships too ... a 3rd person could look at it and say "X,Y,Z ... fix those and all will be well" while one or both people in the relationship just go "huh?".
 
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bigfincat is offline bigfincat Post #193  August 19,2010, 10:49am
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Sassafras54 wrote :
That's an interesting POV. It's a truism (that's not always true) that it's easy to see what's "wrong" with another person ... *much* harder to see what's wrong with yourself.

I think that happens with relationships too ... a 3rd person could look at it and say "X,Y,Z ... fix those and all will be well" while one or both people in the relationship just go "huh?".
It is easy & lazy to be self-centered. Takes more effort (very little effort really) to see the perspective of others.
 
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mylifesabeach is offline mylifesabeach Post #194  August 30,2010, 6:36am
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bigfincat wrote :
It is easy & lazy to be self-centered. Takes more effort (very little effort really) to see the perspective of others.
This is an extremely insightful statement. So obvious when one reads it and yet I would have never seen selfishness in quite that light until I read this statement. Good old laziness pure and simple.
 
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