Why women are the ones to leave...


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IcecreamMoon is offline IcecreamMoon Post #11  August 7,2009, 6:24pm
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happyquestion wrote :
I don't think it is universal, but the scenario you described would be very common. If you read Mars/Venus books, it talks about how men & women communicate and deal with things differently.
Hey Happy,
What would we ever do without Dr John around here? I can't even imagine... Don't you agree? Or do you think our communication styles are too different for that?
 
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happyquestion is offline happyquestion Post #12  August 7,2009, 6:35pm
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IcecreamMoon wrote :
Hey Happy,
What would we ever do without Dr John around here? I can't even imagine... Don't you agree? Or do you think our communication styles are too different for that?
Surely it is obvious that without the extraordinary contribution by Dr John to mankind, we risk human extinction very soon. Think about it, we don't know how to communicate with the opposite sex, can't relate healthily, it quickly reduce the chance of us forming bond with opposite sex, reduce birth rate, the cycle goes on...

Everyone should go and read the book to help us survive to the next century!
 
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LizziePooh is offline LizziePooh Post #13  August 7,2009, 6:38pm

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IcecreamMoon wrote :
Hey Happy,
What would we ever do without Dr John around here? I can't even imagine... Don't you agree? Or do you think our communication styles are too different for that?
Hey Moon,

Just a word to the wise. On Earth, we like to state a different opinion while we knock down someone else' comment. And notice the emphasis on comment - go for the comment not the person.

I just wanted to clarify Earth's policies. I know you are a visitor and may not understand the subtle differences between Earth's and Moon's exchanges so you may be having a hard time communicating.

And Welcome to Earth. I hope you enjoy your stay and maybe soon decide to be one of us.
Last edited by LizziePooh; August 7,2009 at 6:39pm. Reason: sometimes, Moon, you come off really mean...Just sayin'
 
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chawks64 is offline chawks64 Post #14  August 7,2009, 6:47pm
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happyquestion wrote :
I don't think it is universal, but the scenario you described would be very common. If you read Mars/Venus books, it talks about how men & women communicate and deal with things differently.

You mentioned about pleas fallen on deaf ears, she thinks she made it clear what she wanted, in her style of communication. However what she showed/said (as result of her way of communication) may be completely misinterrepted according to his way of receiving messages (according to ways of communication that is familiar to him).

Unless recognised and actively worked on, I think this difference in communication style would increase the gap between the couple until such time it is too late.

So without generalising the reason for all relationship failures, I think the difference between men/women in ways of communication can contribute to a large portion of the problems if not recognised.
I have to agree. I have talked to a lot of women who are unhappy with their partner. But when you ask "What does he say when you talk to him about it?", they usually admit they haven't discussed it. They believe either he won't care or that he "ought to just know". Well, guys don't just know unless you tell them.

I'm not saying this is the universal fix for all relationships. Some guys really don't care, and other women have discussed the issues. But it does seem to be a very important first step before throwing in the towel.
 
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IcecreamMoon is offline IcecreamMoon Post #15  August 8,2009, 1:29am
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LizziePooh wrote :
Hey Moon,

Just a word to the wise. On Earth, we like to state a different opinion while we knock down someone else' comment. And notice the emphasis on comment - go for the comment not the person.

I just wanted to clarify Earth's policies. I know you are a visitor and may not understand the subtle differences between Earth's and Moon's exchanges so you may be having a hard time communicating.

And Welcome to Earth. I hope you enjoy your stay and maybe soon decide to be one of us.
1. I wasn't attacking, I was asking questions or evoking opinions, in a somewhat sarcastic manner, but very far removed from attcking the person. (Open to interpretation and misinterpretation, of course)
2. If I wanted to attack anyone on Earth, Happy would probably be the last person I'd select to attack.
3. Your Earth policies sound good, but don't feel so good. So forgive me if I stick with my lunar policies, even while visiting.
 
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Mr_Right is offline Mr_Right Post #16  August 8,2009, 2:07am
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chawks64 wrote :
I have to agree. I have talked to a lot of women who are unhappy with their partner. But when you ask "What does he say when you talk to him about it?", they usually admit they haven't discussed it. They believe either he won't care or that he "ought to just know". Well, guys don't just know unless you tell them.

I'm not saying this is the universal fix for all relationships. Some guys really don't care, and other women have discussed the issues. But it does seem to be a very important first step before throwing in the towel.
Gotta have communication in a relationship.
 
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EMTZ is offline EMTZ Post #17  August 8,2009, 2:49am
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Other possible reasons:
1. Women usually have better emotional support, so mentally they are more likely to handle a breakup better than men. For men, their partner is usually the primary source of their emotional support.
2. Many women start a relationship with a man that already shows the signs of someone that is not right for them in the very beginning, hoping he will change. It is not easy to change, even if someone wants to. So these women keep telling the partner about the things that bother them that will continue to happen because those non-right things for her were already part of him. With exception to cheating, I don't know how many times I hear women complaining about their partner for doing/not doing certain things, and when I ask if he was already like that in the beginning, in most cases the answer was yes.
 
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chawks64 is offline chawks64 Post #18  August 8,2009, 4:12am
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EMTZ wrote :
With exception to cheating, I don't know how many times I hear women complaining about their partner for doing/not doing certain things, and when I ask if he was already like that in the beginning, in most cases the answer was yes.
Good point! In a class I took a couple of years ago, we had to do a how-to speech. I went with my area of expertise and did "How To Marry The Wrong Man". I did a lot of actual research and one thing I found was that the majority of divorced couples knew there was a serious problem before they were married but went ahead with the wedding anyway. Most said they figured they could work it out after they were married. Bad, bad, bad idea.
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #19  August 8,2009, 4:36am
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...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

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chawks64 wrote :
Good point! In a class I took a couple of years ago, we had to do a how-to speech. I went with my area of expertise and did "How To Marry The Wrong Man". I did a lot of actual research and one thing I found was that the majority of divorced couples knew there was a serious problem before they were married but went ahead with the wedding anyway. Most said they figured they could work it out after they were married. Bad, bad, bad idea.
This reminds me that I once heard, supposedly, that what women said they most liked about their husband when they first got married was also what they most disliked about him when they got divorced.
 
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IcecreamMoon is offline IcecreamMoon Post #20  August 8,2009, 4:45am
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jayjay wrote :
This reminds me that I once heard, supposedly, that what women said they most liked about their husband when they first got married was also what they most disliked about him when they got divorced.
This is making me think... maybe we got all this matching business wrong then? Maybe we should be matched on what we dislike, rather than what we like? That way the dislike either stays in the dislikes or, best case scenario, turns into like. Hmmmm...
 
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