sprklnbliz is offline sprklnbliz Post #1  August 6,2009, 7:11pm
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I am new back to the dating scene. I am 39 yo with 2 preteen children. I have dated very little and have not introduced my children to anyone I have dated. I know that the relationship all depends on finding the right person but would like some input: In your experiences would I be better to date a man that has never been married, divorced with no children or divorced with children? I am just curious what others have found to be successful. Input sought from men and women!!
 
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brneyedangel is offline brneyedangel Post #2  August 6,2009, 7:16pm
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sprklnbliz wrote :
I am new back to the dating scene. I am 39 yo with 2 preteen children. I have dated very little and have not introduced my children to anyone I have dated. I know that the relationship all depends on finding the right person but would like some input: In your experiences would I be better to date a man that has never been married, divorced with no children or divorced with children? I am just curious what others have found to be successful. Input sought from men and women!!
I think you'd do better to find someone who matches what qualities matter most to you, rather than worrying about their past marital status/whether or not they have children, unless one of these categories really matters to you.
 
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happyquestion is offline happyquestion Post #3  August 6,2009, 7:46pm
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I think the best chance would be dating with someone between the age of 18-88, male or female, still breathing. but that's what i think.
 
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happyquestion is offline happyquestion Post #4  August 6,2009, 7:47pm
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brneyedangel wrote :
I think you'd do better to find someone who matches what qualities matter most to you
That's the answer...
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #5  August 6,2009, 8:01pm
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brneyedangel wrote :
I think you'd do better to find someone who matches what qualities matter most to you, rather than worrying about their past marital status/whether or not they have children, unless one of these categories really matters to you.
That is reasonable advice.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #6  August 6,2009, 8:04pm
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sprklnbliz wrote :
I am new back to the dating scene. I am 39 yo with 2 preteen children. I have dated very little and have not introduced my children to anyone I have dated. I know that the relationship all depends on finding the right person but would like some input: In your experiences would I be better to date a man that has never been married, divorced with no children or divorced with children? I am just curious what others have found to be successful. Input sought from men and women!!
In your age range the most likely guys that you will meet are divorced with children. Also guys in your age range are likely to expect / accept younger children as the norm. Other than me you are not likely to meet never married guys.
 
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Mainah64 is offline Mainah64 Post #7  August 6,2009, 8:19pm
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What matters most to you in life? That's right.

From my experience and being an involved father, I only date women that are divorced with children. Many people without children have a hard time understanding all the demands and sacrifices that you must make and don't have all the patience for the many issues and minor crises you encounter. On average, being divorced can show a higher willingness to commit and be there for a longer haul. Again, on average.
 
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j0hn8andy is offline j0hn8andy Post #8  August 6,2009, 8:33pm
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[quote=Mainah64;701986]
What matters most to you in life? That's right.

From my experience and being an involved father, I only date women that are divorced with children. Many people without children have a hard time understanding all the demands and sacrifices that you must make and don't have all the patience for the many issues and minor crises you encounter. On average, being divorced can show a higher willingness to commit and be there for a longer haul. Again, on average.




Funny you should say that. I have seen several threads with numerous opinions expressed about divorced people being failures at marriage and unable to commit. Most (maybe all) of those opinions have been expressed by people who have never been married themselves, of course.

As to the OP: You would be best to look at what you want and need in a man, for yourself and for your children. That's where you should concentrate your efforts. With children the ages of yours, you will need to line up sitters, have definite plans, etc. So don't waste your time on men you wouldn't consider for marriage. You probably have neither the time nor the money to waste!
 
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sprklnbliz is offline sprklnbliz Post #9  August 7,2009, 12:09am
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"In your age range the most likely guys that you will meet are divorced with children. Also guys in your age range are likely to expect / accept younger children as the norm. Other than me you are not likely to meet never married guys."

I have been really surprised by the number of guys in my area that have never been married. Strange to me!

I have always had a tendency to date guys 5 years or so older, the response I have received is that divorced guys basically don't want to deal with children as young as mine as theirs are older (out of high school). Just not what I expected.

My main priority is my children and that will not change. I am not ready to jump into marriage so it is not like I am asking someone to take on the responsibility of my children. I am searching for a relationship for me not a father for them.

The issue of dating a guy that has never been married, I feel will present problems in that he can't comprehend all the parental responsiblities. Also the guys that I have dated that didn't have children were too eager to become involved in their lives and it was just too early.
Last edited by sprklnbliz; August 7,2009 at 12:14am.
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #10  August 7,2009, 12:18am
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...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

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sprklnbliz wrote :
I have been really surprised by the number of guys in my area that have never been married. Strange to me! I have always had a tendency to date guys 5 years or so older, the response I have received is that they basically don't want to deal with children as young as mine as theirs are older (out of high school). Just not what I expected.

My main priority is my children and that will not change. I am not ready to jump into marriage so it is not like I am asking someone to take on the responsibility of my children. I am searching for a relationship for me not a father for them.

The issue of dating a guy that has never been married I feel will present problems in that he comprehend all the parental responsiblities. Also the guys that I have dated that didn't have children were too eager to become involved in their lives and it was just too early.
Another relevant factor is if you want to have any more children. The men who have never been married may be more likely to want them. Of course, simply finding out what their desire is regarding children is better than simply inferring it from their age or previous marital history.

And also...it naturally follows that men who have never had children won't fully understand your parental responsibilities. Maybe a man who already has children would be the most likely to work out for you. Good luck.
 
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