Anyone dated a divorced man with 4 kids?


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saltndlight is offline saltndlight Post #1  August 6,2009, 3:10pm
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Hi guys:
I met a divorced man and he seems a very man and so far we get along pretty good, even though just friends so far and trying to get to know each other...he didn't wanted the divorce but his wife betrayed him and moved on with another man.Since i am single with no kids i am a bit worried i might not fit in and manage well with his life and also his kids...what kind of advice you give me?what should i do?should i take this chance and risk?i appreciate your help..thanks!!!!
Last edited by saltndlight; August 7,2009 at 2:11am. Reason: He has joint custody of the kids...usually they are with him in the days he is off work!!
 
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j0hn8andy is offline j0hn8andy Post #2  August 6,2009, 3:41pm
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You didn't say, but I'm guessing he doesn't have custody? Or at most has "joint custody" where they share the kids half the time?

I also took a peek at your Profile and see that you're a music teacher. So I assume you like kids...

If you actually like kids, I wouldn't worry about it. The kids will know, as I'm sure your students do, and you'll already be ahead of the game!

My first husband had only one, but I loved her. He worked more than I, and the two of us did quite a bit together. When she was 8-10 years, she used to copy my mannerisms, cross her legs when I did, hold her body like I did, etc. You can imagine I loved her even more when I saw that!

If you feel that you could love those children as much as any that you could have of your own in the future, I see no reason not to take the chance.
 
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Ladyjuju is offline Ladyjuju Post #3  August 6,2009, 4:52pm
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saltndlight wrote :
Hi guys:
I met a divorced man and he seems a very man and so far we get along pretty good, even though just friends so far and trying to get to know each other...he didn't wanted the divorce but his wife betrayed him and moved on with another man.Since i am single with no kids i am a bit worried i might not fit in and manage well with his life and also his kids...what kind of advice you give me?what should i do?should i take this chance and risk?i appreciate your help..thanks!!!!
Unless your not ready to be a maid to 4 children, then go for it! But you will never be their mother and you need to know that on the get go! My advice would say don't tread in waters, that you have no idea how to tread water! You will end up drowning!
 
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LizziePooh is offline LizziePooh Post #4  August 6,2009, 7:16pm

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j0hn8andy wrote :
You didn't say, but I'm guessing he doesn't have custody? Or at most has "joint custody" where they share the kids half the time?

I also took a peek at your Profile and see that you're a music teacher. So I assume you like kids...

If you actually like kids, I wouldn't worry about it. The kids will know, as I'm sure your students do, and you'll already be ahead of the game!

My first husband had only one, but I loved her. He worked more than I, and the two of us did quite a bit together. When she was 8-10 years, she used to copy my mannerisms, cross her legs when I did, hold her body like I did, etc. You can imagine I loved her even more when I saw that!

If you feel that you could love those children as much as any that you could have of your own in the future, I see no reason not to take the chance.
Yes, I agree. If you think you can care about those kids like they were your own, I say go for it. Only you know if having you in their life would be benefit to them or a problem for them.

My ex had a son and the son and I were quite close and still are. Well - as much as he will let me since he is a teenager now!!
 
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Mainah64 is offline Mainah64 Post #5  August 6,2009, 9:22pm
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I tried dating myself but could never figure out who would pick up the check, lead a dance, and the whether to kiss, hug or shake hands.


Do you have any desire to have kids of your own and is he against having more? There are too many variables as to whether this could work or not such as amount of time he has them, their relationship with their mother, their upbringing and behavior, his feelings to his ex, etc, etc.... if most all these questions have positive answers it might be worth a shot. As to another poster's comments about being a maid....not sure if she is qualified to answer that question in an unbiased and non bitter method.
Last edited by Mainah64; August 6,2009 at 9:25pm. Reason: when is adveha getting spell check?
 
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yeoww is offline yeoww Post #6  August 6,2009, 9:28pm
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Ladyjuju wrote :
Unless your not ready to be a maid to 4 children, then go for it! But you will never be their mother and you need to know that on the get go! My advice would say don't tread in waters, that you have no idea how to tread water! You will end up drowning!
Have you met Harvey7? I think the two of you would make a great match
 
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saltndlight is offline saltndlight Post #7  August 7,2009, 2:13am
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Thans my friend for the encouragement...i feel he is worth it indeed...even though with the kids we don't have much time to talk but so far so good!!!
 
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CreolePrincess is offline CreolePrincess Post #8  August 7,2009, 4:24am
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You'll never know until you meet his kids. They might love you but you can't stand them or vice versa. Or you just might find that you and he have different parenting styles that will interfere and put a strain on your relationship. Either way, the only way to know if this is a relationship you want is to meet the kids and try it for a short time. If it doesn't work, then, at least you know, and you won't ever have to wonder, "what if".
 
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tjlpd is offline tjlpd Post #9  August 7,2009, 5:12am
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yeoww wrote :
Have you met Harvey7? I think the two of you would make a great match
They do seem to have matching personalities.
 
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Wiseman2 is online now Wiseman2 Post #10  August 7,2009, 7:10am
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He will expect from any subsequent partner that she is a step mother (or will play that role while dating). You can expect many family-type outings with his kids( who will always come first) and lots of drama from the ex about you and her kids .The children will love their mother and their father and resent you for being an interloper.
saltndlight wrote :
Hi guys:
I met a divorced man and he seems a very man and so far we get along pretty good, even though just friends so far and trying to get to know each other...he didn't wanted the divorce but his wife betrayed him and moved on with another man.Since i am single with no kids i am a bit worried i might not fit in and manage well with his life and also his kids...what kind of advice you give me?what should i do?should i take this chance and risk?i appreciate your help..thanks!!!!
 
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