Should guys give their number or ask for her number?


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stevex is offline stevex Post #1  August 5,2009, 7:29am
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I am not sure if this has been discussed or not. But I was thinking about this in another thread. The various times I have met people who I have had some immediate chemistry; however, I never attempted to go past the confines of the context in which we met. With that said, I am trying to overcome what little bit of shyness I have about trying to go past the initial meeting in an effort to date more as well as potentially meet the right person who I may not actually meet online.

I suppose it is all in the semantics. I imagine that it would be much easier to give her my card and let her know that I would love to continue our conversation and would like her to call me sometime. The chances of her rejecting me up front at that point I would think is a lot less as if she wasn't interested she would just throw away my card and never call.

The other option would be me saying something along the lines of how I would love to get together with her or continue the conversation over dinner or whatever good line there was based on the context of the conversation. But right there she as the chance to reject me.

So guys, what do you do, and ladies what is your preference?
 
 
jayjay is offline jayjay Post #2  August 5,2009, 7:38am
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...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

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Absolutely you need to get her number. Hands down. The chances are she won't call you...even if she has an interest in you. Keep the ball in your court and get her number or at least email.
 
 
Nanette is offline Nanette Post #3  August 5,2009, 7:39am
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if a guy hands me his card or tries to give me his number i smile and say "no thanks!" if he doesnt grab a pen and paper and get my number then we dont communicate further
 
 
Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #4  August 5,2009, 7:41am
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Once Open Communication has gotten to the point where a date has been planned then I will provide my cell phone number so that if there is some problem she can contact me. I expect it to be reciprocal so that if I have a problem in getting to the date that I can call her. If she does not provide her phone number a red flag now goes up and there won't be a second date. Been burned on this before so it created a new rule.
 
 
DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #5  August 5,2009, 7:51am
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Ask, most definitely ask for her number and then actually call her. There is nothing I hate more than a guy who gives me his number and wants me to call him. Chances are it won't happen. Even if I'm interested and plan on calling, the truth is that some other man who is not so shy just called me and asked me out and so.... the guy who waits for her to call loses.
 
 
Sweetyflea is offline Sweetyflea Post #6  August 5,2009, 9:01am
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uh....that's odd??

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stevex wrote :
I am not sure if this has been discussed or not. But I was thinking about this in another thread. The various times I have met people who I have had some immediate chemistry; however, I never attempted to go past the confines of the context in which we met. With that said, I am trying to overcome what little bit of shyness I have about trying to go past the initial meeting in an effort to date more as well as potentially meet the right person who I may not actually meet online.

I suppose it is all in the semantics. I imagine that it would be much easier to give her my card and let her know that I would love to continue our conversation and would like her to call me sometime. The chances of her rejecting me up front at that point I would think is a lot less as if she wasn't interested she would just throw away my card and never call.

The other option would be me saying something along the lines of how I would love to get together with her or continue the conversation over dinner or whatever good line there was based on the context of the conversation. But right there she as the chance to reject me.

So guys, what do you do, and ladies what is your preference?
I think (Traditionally) if a guy is interested in a girl, he should ask for her number not just give his number to her, it shows his interest in a woman he is dating. Or if she's interested in a guy she would ask for his number and he would give his number. Basically, if a guy is interested in a woman, he should ask for the girls number first, and if she decides to give out her number and in return give her number to him. It shows that these two people have a spark in meeting with each other, therefore they are interested in each other and would want to continue further. This can go either way, if he asks for her number and she accepts there's a chance for exchange of numbers, but if he asks for her number and she declines...move on (sign of rejection). This can be a vice versa situation if a girl asks for a guy's number. Now, if some one is shy and the other person happens to not be shy, the other person who's not shy and is interested in the person who is shy should ask this question.....would you want my number? It's kind of a ice breaker and only if the two people are interested in each other.

I would usually like a guy to ask me for my number, to me it shows he's interested and if I'm interested in him, I would give him my my nnumber. But if the guy is shy and I can sense we have a things in common I would ask if he would like to have my number and if he accepts that cool and if he doesn't oh well that ok.
 
 
waypoint_finder is offline waypoint_finder Post #7  August 5,2009, 9:03am

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Always ask her for her phone number and note how she responds (does she hesitate? does she immediately write it down? does she offer some excuse not to give it to you? etc)
 
 
Ms666 is offline Ms666 Post #8  August 5,2009, 9:31am
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jayjay wrote :
Absolutely you need to get her number. Hands down. The chances are she won't call you...even if she has an interest in you. Keep the ball in your court and get her number or at least email.
You've got that right!
I HATE making that 1st phone call! I'd rather give him my number and let him call me. I will take the risk of obtaining a new stalker
 
 
brneyedangel is offline brneyedangel Post #9  August 5,2009, 11:25am
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I understand that you are trying to overcome your shyness, and I applaud you for that. However, a part of dating is, unfortunately, that risk of rejection. It's not a rejection of you as a person, though. It's a rejection of the matching of the two of you together. I can't think of a time when I said no to a man because I was rejecting the man that he was; instead, the reason I said no was just because I didn't feel that we'd be a good match.

That said, I'd recommend that you get her number and then actually call her. I don't know, giving a card to a woman you're interested in just seems so formal and impersonal, and if you've approached her at this point then you really should be the one to follow through. I guess if that happened to me, I might be put off by it, as I only give out my card to colleagues in other districts and the parents of my students so they can reach me at work via phone/fax/email. If a man is interested in me, then I would really hope he'd take the time to get my number and use it; give me a card and expect me to follow up on your interest, and I'm not likely to call you.
 
 
Wiseman2 is online now Wiseman2 Post #10  August 5,2009, 11:50am
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Cover all your bases..... Most definitely give her your number and email......And...Ask for hers.... she'll either give it to you, or not, call you or not, but no guess work with this approach

stevex wrote :
I am not sure if this has been discussed or not. But I was thinking about this in another thread. The various times I have met people who I have had some immediate chemistry; however, I never attempted to go past the confines of the context in which we met. With that said, I am trying to overcome what little bit of shyness I have about trying to go past the initial meeting in an effort to date more as well as potentially meet the right person who I may not actually meet online.
I suppose it is all in the semantics. I imagine that it would be much easier to give her my card and let her know that I would love to continue our conversation and would like her to call me sometime. The chances of her rejecting me up front at that point I would think is a lot less as if she wasn't interested she would just throw away my card and never call.
The other option would be me saying something along the lines of how I would love to get together with her or continue the conversation over dinner or whatever good line there was based on the context of the conversation. But right there she as the chance to reject me.
So guys, what do you do, and ladies what is your preference?
 
 
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