Summoning Courage While Sweating


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GreatGuy38 is offline GreatGuy38 Post #1  August 4,2009, 10:44pm

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I’m seeking the advice of my fellow bloggers, on how to initiate a conversation with a woman whom I am attracted to at the gym. While seemingly simple, I always seem to fall short, and never act. I’ll be honest the gym I go to is a meeting hub of sorts. Here’s the typical scenario: I’ll make brief eye contact with a woman, and she’ll do the same. This will happen repeatedly over several days, weeks, and sometime months. I’ll smile, she’ll smile back. This occurs again, and again. She’ll come back a different day, and I’ll be trying to play it covertly, turn my head suddenly, and yep sure enough, she’s looking at me. Perhaps, it’s my purple spandex unitard, with complimentary matching wrists and head-band, or the tattoo of the “Incredible Hulk” on my massive bicep. I attempt to be observant and look for something, anything, to which I might a basis for initiating a conversation, like the book she’s reading. I’m attracted to intelligent, confident, women, not the showy heavily made-up, augmented, type, and believe me there is definitely no shortage second type. The whole situation begins to feel like I’m involved in some sort of bird courting ritual, only I’m lacking the proper plumage, and don’t know the dance. I’m the bird who’s still on the perch. See http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i-wtO7pjJKk
Any suggestions?
 
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IcecreamMoon is offline IcecreamMoon Post #2  August 4,2009, 11:10pm
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Hi Great Guy,

I thought your name suited you well, so when did you become a bird?

Well, if you are a bird, then I'll be of no help to you at all - I don't know much about birds myself. You'd best wait for the cowadly lions, drunken frogs and reptiles to get back to you with their version of "well meaning advice" on how to trap a woman, so that you can kill her and eat her flesh (Shads may have some details for you on how to do that most efficiently while having a laugh).

If you are interested in advice from a real life woman -
All I can say is stop sweating and summoning. Start talking to her like she is a normal human being, who has a brain, a heart and even a soul. All you need to do is choose to recognize the truth that is right in front of your eyes to see, just as soon as you take off the dark coloured glasses.

Good Luck! Really! You do deserve it!
 
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my5cents is offline my5cents Post #3  August 4,2009, 11:14pm
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I would say just go up to her, say "hi", and introduce yourself. I've had people talk to me while I'm working out and if she's nice then she'll respond. Perhaps from there you can see if she'd be interested in going out for a bite to eat after working out, a fruit smoothie, etc. Wishing you the best.
 
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GreatGuy38 is offline GreatGuy38 Post #4  August 4,2009, 11:41pm

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IcecreamMoon wrote :
Hi Great Guy,

I thought your name suited you well, so when did you become a bird?



If you are interested in advice from a real life woman -
All I can say is stop sweating and summoning. Start talking to her like she is a normal human being, who has a brain, a heart and even a soul. All you need to do is choose to recognize the truth that is right in front of your eyes to see, just as soon as you take off the dark coloured glasses.

Good Luck! Really! You do deserve it!
I became a bird after several sleepless nights when I would get up and watch nature shows because that they were the only decent thing to watch on the TV at that time of the morning. Please elaborate on "choosing to recognize the truth that is right in front of your eyes to see." I'm little uncertain of the advice contained in those words.
 
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IcecreamMoon is offline IcecreamMoon Post #5  August 4,2009, 11:56pm
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GreatGuy38 wrote :
I became a bird after several sleepless nights when I would get up and watch nature shows because that they were the only decent thing to watch on the TV at that time of the morning. Please elaborate on "choosing to recognize the truth that is right in front of your eyes to see." I'm little uncertain of the advice contained in those words.
What I meant to say was:
Stop expecting the worst of people! Don't expect her to reject you - you will only project that in your attitude. She will sense fear and fear is not attractive! Humbleness and honesty ARE very attractive (and I thought I recognized those qualities in you, surely I didn't just imagine them!), as is the ability to recognize your own human flaws and deal with them productively, rather than destructively.

It only follows that the woman you are admiring at the gym is only another human being, with flaws of her own. Do not expect her to be perfect - that's another perfect set up for failure.

Instead look at reality, be realistic with your expectations, but keep the hope alive. What's in front of your eyes IS reality, not what ought to be or what you imagineit to be. There is no need to look at it through rose-colored or dark-colored glasses at all. See it for what it is. Go after what you want. Have confidence in who you are inside, and know that that man inside will do the right thing, because he is REAL!

And even if it does not work out with this particular woman at the gym, you'll be able to sleep at night, instead of watching nature shows and imagining yourself to be all kinds of drunken animails and wounded birds. You are a great guy. Just act like one, that's all! And leave the birds and the animals to live in the kingdom of their own...

Good Luck!
 
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SierraMountainAir is offline SierraMountainAir Post #6  August 5,2009, 4:08am
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I had a friend, in So Cal that claimed to score hundreds of women in this life time.

I found him eventually too obnoxious, overbearing, crass and insulting after a time, but he gave me some fascinating insights.


He used to be a used car salesman, and you know well how they are despised for how they are.

But he compared his success in this to that business also.

Basically, he said, with ANY attractive woman you see, you are at "NO" already... so you have utterly NOTHING to loose by trying to meet her and pick her up.

His ego and self confidence was amazing to me. This guy was 49 years old, fat (350 pounds), divorced 3x, ruint credit, his children he could not ever see, but he scored over and over again.

Not only this but also (it disgusted me) he would ONLY go for slender blonde good looking females in their 20s to about 30 and the 50 y o ones only when desparate.

But he had one thing that teh females adored. He was so confident.

He told me once, "LOOK: It's all about numbers in the car sales business. When you are on the "floor" you are in rotation for the next "up" (An "up" is some customer who comes in unannounced off the street to look at a car at the dealer. When you get the "up" you have just ONE chance at them so make the most of it.


As a salesman, in a month let's say you get 100 "ups". Of these, you will "demo" maybe 80.
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #7  August 5,2009, 4:42am
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...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

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GreatGuy38 wrote :
Perhaps, it’s my purple spandex unitard, with complimentary matching wrists and head-band, or the tattoo of the “Incredible Hulk” on my massive bicep.
OK....we definitely need to see a photo.
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #8  August 5,2009, 4:47am
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...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

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6dle899 wrote :
I asked him, have you ever seen that scene in Glengarry Glenn Ross about closing?
I want the Glengarry Glenn Ross leads instead of doing the cold calls!
 
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IcecreamMoon is offline IcecreamMoon Post #9  August 5,2009, 4:50am
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6dle899 wrote :
SAME WAY WITH WOMEN he said.
Too true, for some... and I still have great hope that those some are in a minority. Or maybe I'm naive, or simply delusional enough to not want to face reality.

All I know for sure, based on science, is whatever earlthy body goes "up" also eventually comes "down", but accelerated by the force of gravity to "crash down" to Earth. And is there any wonder those same "crashed down" women will then go on to take the next guy for everything he's got? And then that guy will take it out on some other innocent female bystander, and so on...

Sad, really. Especially when someone like GreatGuy has to pay for this endless up & down cycle of crashing and burning each other.
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #10  August 5,2009, 4:54am
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...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

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IcecreamMoon wrote :
And is there any wonder those same "crashed down" women will then go on to take the next guy for everything he's got? And then that guy will take it out on some other innocent female bystander, and so on...
Ah yes, the circle of life. Isn't it grand?
 
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