They've ruined it for me


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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #1  August 4,2009, 7:34pm
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...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

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When I was at Penn State I knew a female grad student who really was the 'full package'. Brains, beauty, interesting, vivacious etc. She had a boyfriend, was going to be moving back to Canada etc. so nothing was going to develop between her and I romantically. Now that I'm in TX I've recently met another woman who is also 'all that'.

The problem is that after meeting a woman like this...when I look at other women they seem to pale by comparison. So...what the heck am I supposed to do now? I mean, apart from asking her out (which I will do)....how do I deal with dating the vast majority of other women who leave me uninspired in comparison?

So....if you've met a couple people who are really fantastic but who are very rare.....how do you go back to dating people who don't come nearly as close to what you're looking for?
Last edited by jayjay; August 4,2009 at 7:47pm.
 
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cp30 is offline cp30 Post #2  August 4,2009, 7:37pm

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you either suck it up and be "realistic" (and realize problems would show up down the road with Ms. Perfect Pants) or you keep being picky, yet open-minded to what the future might hold and accept people throwing stones on dating sites about "why you are still single" and "tocked"
 
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angelpoet is offline angelpoet Post #3  August 4,2009, 7:43pm
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is still out there

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and you realize that NOBODY is perfect... including you...
and hope that someone will love you for who you really are...
big fat hairy warts and all...
cos we all have em...
 
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simplemind is offline simplemind Post #4  August 4,2009, 7:44pm
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comes to her favorite season--cool weather and beautiful colors.

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Funny how we both started threads about idealized persons tonight....is it the moon?

cp30 is right on. We can idealize 'til the cows come home. Makes it softer, to not have to come to grips with "the perfect person ain't out there." Not one single one of us humans is flawless, and the attraction to someone unattainable makes them all the more easy to fantasize about.

Nobody can match up to the fantasy.

Thank Heaven for that. I'd hate to be in control quite that much. Randomness in the universe is just fine by me.

Sometimes.

yah, that's right.

I think.
 
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VB_Girl is offline VB_Girl Post #5  August 4,2009, 7:46pm
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is working hard for this vacation!

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She was only perfect because you didn't get the chance to really know her intimately (not in a sexual way). You only saw what she wanted you to see.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #6  August 4,2009, 7:49pm
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I'm crippled by the fear That I've fallen too far to love

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I suppose judging each person on their own merits would be too much to ask.
Last edited by Gr8Guyn2008; August 4,2009 at 7:51pm.
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #7  August 4,2009, 7:52pm
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...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

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OK...after reading the first few responses I had to go back and read my post looking for the word 'perfect'. My point isn't that I've met a couple women who are 'perfect'. Undoubtedly they aren't.

However, they are very intelligent, beautiful, well spoken and interesting among other things. Again, that doesn't mean they are perfect or 'ideal'....but they are as described.

Edited: I can fully acknowledge that 1 hour into a date I might find these women would drive me nuts for some reason. However, that wouldn't change all the positive qualities they do have.
Last edited by jayjay; August 4,2009 at 8:01pm.
 
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cp30 is offline cp30 Post #8  August 4,2009, 7:55pm

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VB_Girl wrote :
She was only perfect because you didn't get the chance to really know her intimately (not in a sexual way). You only saw what she wanted you to see.
This kind of reminds me of a time (bear with me) me and a girlfriend owere at a strip club (yeah, where ladies take their clothes off). I won't go into the why..er..lets just say it was for old times sake (even harder to explain now...) anyway these guys were fawning on us (happens when you are the only girls in a strip club) and it was a bachelor party (I think there was only like 3 of them).

We nearly broke up the guys wedding. He couldn't believe how awesome we were and he was getting married the next day. It was really kind of bad, he was pretty broken up over it (lots of, I didn't know girls like you existed and stuff, and your so cool, etc. etc.). Of course my friend and I were like...you are so dumb. Please don't cancel the wedding....and obviously he had a bit of a unrealistic view of who we were, and probably why we were there too (even though I think we had a conversation, I have to admit it probably made us sound even cooler).

I think we might have even said something along the lines of "please get married, we are not that awesome"

but felt really bad for his girl....
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #9  August 4,2009, 7:58pm
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...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

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cp30 wrote :
I think we might have even said something along the lines of "please get married, we are not that awesome"

but felt really bad for his girl....
Yes....one shouldn't really make life changing decisions after 15-20 shots of tequila.
 
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cp30 is offline cp30 Post #10  August 4,2009, 7:59pm

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jayjay wrote :
OK...after reading the first few responses I had to go back and read my post looking for the word 'perfect'. My point isn't that I've met a couple women who are 'perfect'. Undoubtedly they aren't.

However, they are very intelligent, beautiful, well spoken and interesting among other things. Again, that doesn't mean they are perfect or 'ideal'....but they are as described.
I knew what you meant....and was just picking on you. Since I've been getting picked on for not popping out any babies yet because of my "choices"

Was just saying, if you are going to be picky, it is okay....as long as you are ready for everyone to tell you why you are still single!
 
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