"You don't look like your picture..."


Reply
  • Page 1 of 3
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
BSLS is offline BSLS Post #1  August 4,2009, 4:14pm
BSLS's Avatar

.

Pacesetter

Joined: Jul 2008

Posts: 345

See profile

I update my profile pic regularly. My daughter takes the pictures for me, which makes it easy. I always make sure my profile pic is current and that it is a true representation of how I presently look.

The day after I posted my latest picture, someone expressed interest in me. We emailed for a couple days, and then decided to meet on the weekend. During that time, I emailed him a couple of additional pictures, all current.

I wore the same outfit and had my hair the same way as the profile photo, which was barely a week old.

When he met me, he was disappointed, and replied that I "misled him" because I didn't look like the pictures!

The fact is, a picture is a STILL image, which captures ONE facial expression at ONE given moment in time. However, human beings are not statues or still images. We are in motion in one way or another at any given time-even if it's just blinking-and we have variety in our facial expressions.

If you choose to build a person up in your own mind based on one or even a few pictures, don't blame the other person if real life doesn't match up to your lonely fantasies.
 
  Reply With Quote
D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #2  August 4,2009, 4:20pm
D_Lion's Avatar

- Ladies want to wring my neck - you have been warned!

Sage

Joined: Aug 2008

Posts: 31,659

See profile

Yep. Met plenty of women; most “didn’t look like their picture.”
[FONT=Arial]
 
  Reply With Quote
cp30 is offline cp30 Post #3  August 4,2009, 4:40pm

has only threatened to give up

Power Poster

Joined: Dec 2007

Up in the NW corner somewhere, but not quite Canada :)

Posts: 7,750

See profile

agree BLSS. The fantasy part...soooo true. I know cause I've done it to myself, I don't blame the real live flesh person for having 3 dimensions.
 
  Reply With Quote
SoOverIt is offline SoOverIt Post #4  August 4,2009, 4:43pm
SoOverIt's Avatar

Quick Study

Joined: Jan 2009

Posts: 157

See profile

Yet more "quality" matches from e Harmony....

Did you then turn around and say "well I thought you were a decent person from your profile but it turns out you're an absolute idiot. I guess you really misrepresented yourself too."....?

This is one instance where it pays to be unphotogenic. Because if he likes your photo then he'll be pleasantly surprised by the real life version. Don't think twice about it though because clearly anyone that superficial is single for a reason. I suppose he's a real hottie too.....
 
  Reply With Quote
stevex is offline stevex Post #5  August 4,2009, 4:45pm
stevex's Avatar

Life is a blessing, it's a delicatessen.

Veteran

Joined: May 2009

Austin, TX

Posts: 1,297

See profile

My ex didn't look much like her pictures on Match, she was much more attractive than the pictures portrayed. I think anyone who sets expectations based on pictures are doing things wrong. It is a factor but we all know photos can be misleading.

You are better off without the guy, though.
 
  Reply With Quote
waypoint_finder is offline waypoint_finder Post #6  August 4,2009, 4:47pm

Unregistered

Joined: Aug 2009

Texas

Posts: 212

See profile

I would just turn around and walk away quickly as if I were looking for someone else
 
  Reply With Quote
Mr_Right is offline Mr_Right Post #7  August 4,2009, 4:50pm
Mr_Right's Avatar

says this is the best wedding picture!

Virtuoso

Joined: Jun 2008

USA

Posts: 4,402

See profile

BSLS wrote :
I update my profile pic regularly. My daughter takes the pictures for me, which makes it easy. I always make sure my profile pic is current and that it is a true representation of how I presently look.

The day after I posted my latest picture, someone expressed interest in me. We emailed for a couple days, and then decided to meet on the weekend. During that time, I emailed him a couple of additional pictures, all current.

I wore the same outfit and had my hair the same way as the profile photo, which was barely a week old.

When he met me, he was disappointed, and replied that I "misled him" because I didn't look like the pictures!

The fact is, a picture is a STILL image, which captures ONE facial expression at ONE given moment in time. However, human beings are not statues or still images. We are in motion in one way or another at any given time-even if it's just blinking-and we have variety in our facial expressions.

If you choose to build a person up in your own mind based on one or even a few pictures, don't blame the other person if real life doesn't match up to your lonely fantasies.
Out of curiosity, are most of your pictures head shots?
 
  Reply With Quote
Emme is offline Emme Post #8  August 4,2009, 5:07pm

.

Veteran

Joined: Dec 2007

Boston

Posts: 1,274

See profile

I despise having my picture taken, and having lost a lot of weight am very wary of the camera. My picture is a face pic that is a couple years old and I'm lighter now than then, but I hate getting pics taken. Mostly I get that my picture doesn't do me justice, but every now and again some guy who doesn't read my whole profile doesn't realize that I am upfront about the fact that I'm not thin and likely never will be and they get bent out of shape because I'm heavier than they think my picture portrays. I'm generally a size 14, (used to be a 28) so it's not like I'm the biggest woman around, usually not even the biggest in the room. Just gotta go with the flow on this stuff.
 
  Reply With Quote
Michael1974 is offline Michael1974 Post #9  August 4,2009, 5:19pm
Michael1974's Avatar

Quick Study

Joined: Jun 2009

New Jersey

Posts: 177

See profile

BSLS wrote :
When he met me, he was disappointed, and replied that I "misled him" because I didn't look like the pictures!
That was an outrageous statement for him to have made. Pictures, much like the text in a personal ad, are to be used as a guide. Meeting in real life is totally different. I know people have trepidation over the jpeg subject ("will he/she be as attractive as the photos show" or "will he/she think I do not look as good as I do in my photos"). I have actually met women who looked better in person than in the photos. This happens. It really does. I'm trusting so if I meet a woman online and her photo is six years old and she claims she still looks the same, that's good enough for me. I don't make a big deal out of it. As for myself, I keep my favorite photos up, but I also make sure to add recent ones just to be fair and honest. I also make videos (documentary-type clips) and upload them to youtube and post them to myspace and facebook so people can see me in action. Vids aren't a bad idea come to think of it ... one can see a person's mannerisms and hear a person's voice. I am sure that will be the next phase in online dating - a video section ("Hi, my name is ... and I am seeking ... and my interests are ...").
 
  Reply With Quote
stevecanada is offline stevecanada Post #10  August 5,2009, 7:55pm
stevecanada's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Aug 2009

Posts: 3

See profile

First time poster here, but I have to chime in.

First, that was obviously a pretty rude thing to say. Even if he felt that way, he should not have said it. And it sounds like you were not deceitful at all. So don't let it get to you.

I just thought I would share my experience from EH in relation to this. I've been on two dates through EH. Both times made it to open communication, email, blah blah and met up. The first time, the girl only had a single headshot in her pictures (now a major red flag for me!). We met, and she was at least 50 pounds heavier than I would have expected. Now, of course, I was not expecting her to look exactly like her picture, but if I had to guess, it was from 4 or 5 years ago. I'm not at all a shallow person, and have dated and definitely been attracted to girls with a few extra pounds on them. The date was fine, but once I met her in person, I was not the least bit attracted to her. Did not call her again.. partially based on the fact that I felt slightly "duped" (i use that lightly as it's use at your own risk of course). I was overall pretty discouraged and thought about giving up on EH, but haven't as of yet.

The second girl was actually better looking than her pictures showed. Unfortunately, even though everything seemed great via email and OC, we did not hit it off. Ah well.

Bottom line, I think you really need to evaluate whether the pictures you show on EH or whatever dating site reflect how you actually look right now. I put on about 30 pounds when I was in college (too much booze and unhealthy eating!), and as much as I would like to use a picture from 3 years ago when I was in quite good shape and better looking, I do not think it would be a good idea. Otherwise, you are just setting yourself up for disappointment. Personally, I would much rather have someone just close the match before communication because they aren't attracted to me than actually meet with someone and have them stop it because I lured them in with pictures of me that are very far from what I look like now.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply
  • Page 1 of 3
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3


« First Date, Hopes Too High... | Dating | what's the difference between "Settling" and "Being Open!" »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
What do you do if a newly posted picture looks nothing like the others? Mybella Using eHarmony 17 May 3,2011 2:49pm
Showing your picture Gowermi Using eHarmony 59 May 3,2011 2:44pm
caption this picture txbubba AAA Completely Stupid Conversations 28 July 23,2009 8:50pm
she hasn't posted a picture. 1250abs Ask a Dating Expert 23 July 22,2009 5:16pm
The impact of a profile!!! Are you infatuated with the picture? PassionateAboutGod Dating 6 July 2,2009 7:24am

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“Wow Legend, you have been through a lot! OP, about 2 months ago, I went gluten-free and dairy-free with the exception of an occasional greek yogurt with fruit a few times a week. My main reason why ... ” –  legend29

Join the “Living Without....” discussion

“ I did not discourage the OP from meeting him....just wanted her to also be sure to be safe and not throw caution to the wind. I hope she has a great time and posts to the board how successful her ... ” –  legend29

Join the “a match wants to meet me in a foreign country” discussion

“The perpetrator at my work has slowed their controlling ways a bit. But, I think the damage is done for some and she will never be anything but an annoyance to them. She's much quieter, though seems ... ” –  legend29

Join the “Who's the Boss?” discussion

“Oh, I forgot to give an example from my family of origin. Both my grandpa and my father had their own successful businesses. We lived together in a 4 floor building occupying different flats but we ... ” –  elliechris

Join the “When is friendship a problem” discussion

“Most anyone has been there I imagine. My advice is: don't over think it, it's all a numbers game (more for some than others), focus on your happiness/life, and work on your market value.” –  Raw_Truth

Join the “Very discouraged.” discussion

“ I figured it had something to do with that "hair gel" that Cameron Diaz was using in the movie "There's Something About Mary"...” –  Shelby

Join the “What kind of add you see on this board?” discussion

“I used to do this in my youth. A couple relevant factors likely were that I broke up with them, they would have liked to re-engage and I had poor boundaries--desperately wanting to stay friends. ... ” –  EccentricAmbiguity

Join the “Hold on, hold on, hold on!” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 4:47am.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0