What's your typical first-date scenario?


View Poll Results: Your preferred first date plan is:
Short & Sweet: Coffee or a cocktail 13 41.94%
Traditional: Dinner date 17 54.84%
Other (please explain below) 1 3.23%
Voters: 31. You may not vote on this poll

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eHA_Admin_Lori is offline eHA_Admin_Lori — Advice Official Moderator Post #1  August 4,2009, 1:27pm
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I'm curious about what most of you suggest or prefer for a first date.

Please vote in the poll and then elaborate in a comment if you like.

As for me, I have learned that meeting for shorter dates with a pre-determined end time works best, that way I have the flexibility to bolt if things aren't going well, and linger if they are So I'll usually suggest a Starbucks (since there's always one near by and people tend to feel comfortable there) or if it's an evening thing, a local bar/lounge type place.
 
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Ms666 is offline Ms666 Post #2  August 4,2009, 1:37pm
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As a single mom I prefer lunch dates for a first date, eliminating the need to find a babysitter. And of course the option to bolt is a plus too!
 
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yeoww is offline yeoww Post #3  August 4,2009, 2:20pm
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I believe in always having a backup (escape) option easily at hand, so I vote for the "short and sweet" option. Even a meal can be painful, believe me. If the date is promising, it's easier to extend time together than to cut an outing short.

Once in my 20s I went on a 48-hour double/blind date and don't recommend it ;-/ I learn as I go!
 
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tweet37 is offline tweet37 Post #4  August 4,2009, 2:25pm
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I like either a pizza at my local wood fired pizza joint or a burger and shake at Nifty Fifty's or Cheeburger Cheeburger. Both places give the option of sticking around for awhile and finishing off the pizza or huge malt if she likes me or just eating a couple slices and get out of Dodge.
Last edited by tweet37; August 4,2009 at 2:27pm. Reason: I voted 'Other'.
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #5  August 4,2009, 2:29pm
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I like to go to Monaco for a month by private jet … oh, you mean what I actually do?
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Mr_Right is offline Mr_Right Post #6  August 4,2009, 2:37pm
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Coffee dates are a awful way to meet someone.

I mean, think about it. You go through all this trouble to send multiple emails to each other, talk to each other on the phone, text, and finally, after you both decide you meet each others criteria and want to meet up, you decide to go to a coffee shop? What can the guy do for you, buy you a 4 dollar coffee? Is that all? And how long do you get to spend with each other, 20 minutes?

Coffee dates aren't different (they're what a lot of people do), they're not stimulating (like, oh, say, a amusement park), they're not exciting, most of the time you can't go to any other place after the coffee date... there's lots of reasons why coffee dates are Bad with a capital B.

Here are some ideas for good dates:

shopping, frisbee in the park, comedy clubs, salsa lessons, art galleries, sporting events, bicycling, wine tasting, concerts, amusement parks, picnics, cooking classes, fireworks, festivals, aquariums/zoos... see, these are not hard dates to plan, plus they're way more fun than a coffee date.

Man, it's such a disservice to yourself to go on a coffee date.
 
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gothustartus is offline gothustartus Post #7  August 4,2009, 2:39pm
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It really depends on the date and what she enjoys and for a first date where she feels safe and comfortable.

And before anyone asks "Why bring safe into it, that's paranoid man" i have a friend who was dosed with Rohypnol, there's no such thing as too safe.
 
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Rand_011 is offline Rand_011 Post #8  August 4,2009, 2:54pm
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I have done coffee dates for the most part ... On the other hand ... If the person seems to be a good to great prospect then I will suggest a bite to eat ... Most of my dates in the past coffee or otherwise have been at least two hours ...
 
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eHA_Admin_Lori is offline eHA_Admin_Lori — Advice Official Moderator Post #9  August 4,2009, 3:01pm
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Mr_Right wrote :
Coffee dates are a awful way to meet someone.

I mean, think about it. You go through all this trouble to send multiple emails to each other, talk to each other on the phone, text, and finally, after you both decide you meet each others criteria and want to meet up, you decide to go to a coffee shop? What can the guy do for you, buy you a 4 dollar coffee? Is that all? And how long do you get to spend with each other, 20 minutes?

Coffee dates aren't different (they're what a lot of people do), they're not stimulating (like, oh, say, a amusement park), they're not exciting, most of the time you can't go to any other place after the coffee date... there's lots of reasons why coffee dates are Bad with a capital B.

Here are some ideas for good dates:

shopping, frisbee in the park, comedy clubs, salsa lessons, art galleries, sporting events, bicycling, wine tasting, concerts, amusement parks, picnics, cooking classes, fireworks, festivals, aquariums/zoos... see, these are not hard dates to plan, plus they're way more fun than a coffee date.

Man, it's such a disservice to yourself to go on a coffee date.
My coffee dates have usually run around 2 hours.

I went out on an amusement park first date once....and only once. It was many things, but amusing was NOT one of them!

I'm glad you had better luck with that kind of thing, though, Mr_Right! I guess I was just unlucky.
 
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lacedwithhope is offline lacedwithhope Post #10  August 4,2009, 3:50pm
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I think I have a bit of a hang-up about the coffee meet thing: to me, it suggests that you want the option of keeping things short (I know, I know) and regardless of who you think may be paying, you're tight on money. Plus, having coffee in the evening is difficult if you have trouble sleeping anyway, LOL.

I prefer (and have pretty much followed) the appetizer/drink approach -- dinner can follow only if we are both up for it. I've never found that transition awkward, either.

I also try to email and talk by phone for at least a week or two first, so that I have a fair amount of confidence in the guys I do decide to meet. I have this crazy notion that if I limit my real life meetings to guys who I'm really intrigued by -- and want to get to know a bit -- I'll have more success. I don't believe it's 'just a numbers game.'

I suppose meeting in a Starbucks initially and then going for a walk or whatever would be OK, but generally I'm ... uh, underimpressed when a guy suggests meeting for coffee on the first encounter. Just my 2 cents.
 
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