Being Good Looking, does it help or hinder finding a match?


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neardc is offline neardc Post #81  August 13,2009, 8:00pm
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CreolePrincess wrote :
I think it would certainly help if a person's looks were pleasing to the eye and he/she didn't have to wear a bag over his/her head to hide the ugliness. Even if there are stereotypes associated with being extremely beautiful or handsome, I think that because an attractive person would get so many more matches than an average person or an unattractive person that the odds of find a good match after shifting through the rift raff would be much better. The high the number of matches, the better odds to find one that's a keeper.
Why would a more attractive person get more matches? The matching itself doesn't take into consideration physical appearance -- that comes after you are matched and see profile pics. I can see that they might get approached more frequently, but the initial pool of matches should be more-or-less the same...
 
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Benevolence32 is offline Benevolence32 Post #82  August 13,2009, 8:27pm
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Being attractive shouldn't hinder you, your personality, attitude or social skills might though.
 
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Photoparensynthesist is offline Photoparensynthesist Post #83  August 14,2009, 11:21am
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I would personally think it may have no bearing at all on finding a 'perfect' match assuming that character accompanies the good looking ones. For myself all the stunners look the same: dressed to impress (because they've nothing else to feel secure about?) and simply contending for a position in the "i'm beautiful" category. Ho-hum. The ones that pique my interest are the strikers that dress modest w/o intending to attract. They show me more confidence in WHO they are and not what they are, dynamic versus static character, someone who achieves things important versus fleeting. Let's hope I'm the same...
 
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timesmile is offline timesmile Post #84  August 17,2009, 10:50pm
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good looking help in finding match. good looking is not just beauty. good looking comprises of good character
 
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GypsyWillow is offline GypsyWillow Post #85  August 18,2009, 12:10am
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I can speak on this topic from an interesting perspective. Years back (I am now 44) I was diagnosed with an illness. At that time I was long and lean with long blode hair and blue eyes. My mother would tell me that in the grocery store that all kinds of guys would be looking at me and I didn't even notice. I wish I would have been more aware. When I went out for drinks I would have some drinks bought for me, but I would not allow for many to be bought because I didn't wan't any gentleman to think that I owed him anything or was leading him on and have a problem at the end of the evening etc. I was not approached for my phone number that much or asked out on dates and according to friends and family I was very good looking and had a very nice tight body as well as intelligent and kind, etc.

Now as I have been on medication for years for my illness dealing with the negative effects. They have slowed my metabolism making me gain weight and making it difficult to lose weight. Also the once abundant energy I had is now gone and I can not exercise like I once usued to adding insult to injury. These are not excuses but just the facts.

Now at 44 trying to enter the dating scene a bit over weight, more then I would like to be is some what uncomfortable. I am self concious and a little ashamed knowing where I once was.

The irony is that I have been approached more now on a serious basis then I was back when.

To put a psycholocial twist on this, I was not happy with my body back when it was good, I felt out of proportion and could always find a flaw with myself and look at me now, talk about flaws, I feel like one big flaw. I wish I would have enjoyed what I had when I had it. But that is just water over the dam now.

Take from this what you will, the bottom line to me is I am today who I was back when. I am still intelligent, witty, communicable, etc., and beauty is and always has been skin deep. I am still pretty there is just a little bit more of me to love.
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legend29 is offline legend29 Post #86  August 18,2009, 1:35am
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WoolyOrl is offline WoolyOrl Post #87  August 18,2009, 11:30am
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Ladyjuju wrote :
Though I agree somewhat with what you are saying above, I do think that there is an objective measure of attractiveness. Angela Joli has been referred to one of the most beautiful woman in the world. Why is that?
Let's face it, some woman are blessed with good-looks, others are not, just the same as men are.
If I see a good looking man out there, my head turns, and men do the same to women.
I personally think it's a whole package kind of thing! Good grooming, dressed well, nice eyes, good teeth, nice smile, good physical condition, (proportinate of course!) Look at some of the make-overs they have done, (without plastic surgery). It's amazing what can turn an ugly duckling into a swan!
Here's my take:

I've dated gorgeous women. I've dated good looking women. I've dated women that are okay looking. Here's the criteria guys follow:

1. Gorgeous women: Damn, she's hot - let's overlook (for the most part) most of her profile, and even forgive most of what she says in GC, for the chance to date this person. Show her off to my friends... trophy girlfriend. If she's gorgeous, then she has to be wonderful right? The result - 9 times out of 10 she's got a chip on her shoulder, not that great of a personality, and/or a serious hidden issue. One woman I dated that comes to mind here is that she was addicted to pain killers, and I didn't realize it until the 5th date. WARNING - this category is almost ALWAYS an HM situation (High Maintenance).

2. Good looking women: She's really cute. I like this girl. Someone I possibly could take home to meet Momma. She's got a good personality, and we will dig deeper in the profile (well, we'll read it) to find something that triggers our pre-set needs.

3. Okay looking women. These are the women that you wouldn't take a second glance at in the supermarket. The very forgettable ones. Now here's the kicker - they usually are the most fun to be with, the most concientious, and the most adaptable and forgiving of a guy "being a guy".

Generally, we go for those that we perceive to be in our same "league". What I consider to be a #2 Good Looking woman may be someone else's "Okay", or yet another person's "Gorgeous".

Category #1 - great for a couple of dates where you are simply looking to score, nothing more, perhaps to have a little 1-month fun. Eventually the looks fade or the personality makes you want to shove an ice pick into your ear (or hers).

Category #2 - The best of both worlds

Category #3 - The lack of physical attraction will eventually kill this chemistry. She ends up being your friend - but a fantastic friend, and hopefully it's a reciprocal friendship.


Personally, I go for #2 to initially go out with and then pray to my own personal God that she has the personality of #3. If you get someone that was an ugly duckling for the first 30 years of their life and then becomes a late bloomer, you've hit the jackpot (because they have the social skills that you have to develop in order to get along, whereas the #1 class girl doesn't have to have any skills - she can coast on her looks).
 
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Benevolence32 is offline Benevolence32 Post #88  August 18,2009, 12:55pm
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I like how some attractive women say they get approached 10 times a day, others say they never get approached. What's the difference? Their body language?
 
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Fleuellen is offline Fleuellen Post #89  August 18,2009, 1:29pm
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i find it a hinderance all the time
 
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ell is offline ell Post #90  August 18,2009, 2:19pm
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Hinder. I took my photo down so that men would actually READ my profile before initiating communication.
 
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