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Ladyjuju Ladyjuju is offline
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Comedian wrote :
I think the real question is who defines "good looking." There is no objective measure of attractiveness.
Look at actors and actresses. Some of them would look bizarre if seen from another decade. Watch the original Mummy movie. The leading lady in that film is not what most would want today.
And to the conceited part, perhaps you are the only one who considers you good looking!
I think people, definitely men, are drawn to specific types. They may notice beauty in general, but they are only interested in their specific flavor.
Though I agree somewhat with what you are saying above, I do think that there is an objective measure of attractiveness. Angela Joli has been referred to one of the most beautiful woman in the world. Why is that?
Let's face it, some woman are blessed with good-looks, others are not, just the same as men are.
If I see a good looking man out there, my head turns, and men do the same to women.
I personally think it's a whole package kind of thing! Good grooming, dressed well, nice eyes, good teeth, nice smile, good physical condition, (proportinate of course!) Look at some of the make-overs they have done, (without plastic surgery). It's amazing what can turn an ugly duckling into a swan!
- August 4th, 2009, 01:19 pm
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I'm sure it helps to get a lot more responses from men, just intial requests to communicate and emails.

The problem there is what someone else said....just more muck to trudge through, which can, truly be exhausting when you see more muck than ...diamonds in the muck, or get to a point where you can no longer idenitfy or have the energy to entertain those who might diamonds in the muck/rough. Whatever.

I'd guess being good looking overall helps to make more people attracted to you. That has drawbacks. Finding the more sincere people is one of them. I think a lot of it has to do, more with how you present yourself. If you present yourself as very sexy, people will see that about you and focus on it. If you present yourself more modestly, you might have a better chance of meeting someone that is more sincere.
- August 4th, 2009, 04:07 pm
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Mr_Right Mr_Right is offline
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Well, I'd rather be attractive than not. You know, tall, dimpled, and handsome.

Hey, wait a sec...

Though someday I'll be bald.
- August 4th, 2009, 04:39 pm
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delux269 delux269 is offline
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Being attractive greatly helps, and being non attractive greatly hurts. I am average looking I would say. And I start communication with every match I receive. And I RARELY get responses to me initiating communication. I only get about 1 woman out of every 10 matches to answer my first questions. It's sad, and its unfair to non attractive men like me. But I guess its the way the world works.
- August 4th, 2009, 05:03 pm
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MitsySouffle MitsySouffle is offline
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In my experience, it has hindered finding a match. I've been told numerous times after the fact by men or their friends that they didn't approach me because they assumed I must be taken OR they didn't have a chance.

A third factor: When you look a certain way, I find that it's hard to get men to focus on the person as opposed to just the visual. It's exhausting and it's the very reason I was drawn to eHarmony. I'm careful of the pictures that I put up. That way I'm more likely to communicate with people focused on me as a person, as opposed to how I look.

This doesn't make one self-absorbed, etc. It makes one honest to state this. I envy what happy couples have, no matter how they look. I'd like to one day meet someone who is able to focus on me as a person and love me for my inner qualities; and not just for what he sees on the outside.
- August 4th, 2009, 05:28 pm
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Comedian wrote :
I think the real question is who defines "good looking." There is no objective measure of attractiveness.
Look at actors and actresses. Some of them would look bizarre if seen from another decade. Watch the original Mummy movie. The leading lady in that film is not what most would want today.
And to the conceited part, perhaps you are the only one who considers you good looking!
I think people, definitely men, are drawn to specific types. They may notice beauty in general, but they are only interested in their specific flavor.
I wholeheartedly disagree with this.
- August 4th, 2009, 05:46 pm
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Genie57 Genie57 is offline
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Sometimes it can hinder because people can sometimes be too intimidated to approach someone they think is too good looking.
- August 4th, 2009, 05:49 pm
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delux269 wrote :
Being attractive greatly helps, and being non attractive greatly hurts. I am average looking I would say. And I start communication with every match I receive. And I RARELY get responses to me initiating communication. I only get about 1 woman out of every 10 matches to answer my first questions. It's sad, and its unfair to non attractive men like me. But I guess its the way the world works.
You are an attractive young man with a great smile. The truth is that you have no idea why your matches haven't responded. In fact, the norm with eH is for there to be few responses to initial contact (in large part because many of your matches are not paying members and so cannot respond...). That's not to say that you might not get more responses if you were Brad Pitt, but not every woman likes the pretty boys, either...

If you are getting a response from 1 in 10, then it sounds like there are quite a few women with whom you can follow up!
- August 4th, 2009, 05:56 pm
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Yes cause you should want someone to know you from the heart not on looks.
- August 4th, 2009, 06:02 pm
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I think, at its very basic premise, it is easier to get matches to respond to you if you are attractive. This is how I interpret the OP. Not necessarily what happens weeks or months down the line, but just getting people to notice and respond to your profile. Yes, being attractive helps. Those who consider themselves unattractive and not getting responses would gladly accept the headaches attractive people face in finding someone who will notice them for more than their looks. I think this is more the case for women than for men. An attractive women, in general, will get many responses even with a sparse profile. Women tend to be pickier; looks often will not be enough, especially if that woman is herself attractive and in a position to be choosy.
- August 4th, 2009, 06:11 pm
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