Being Good Looking, does it help or hinder finding a match?


Reply
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Ladyjuju is offline Ladyjuju Post #21  August 4,2009, 12:19pm
Ladyjuju's Avatar

......Coffee, Chocolate, Men..some things are just better Rich!

Unregistered

Joined: Aug 2009

The Great White North

Posts: 258

See profile

Comedian wrote :
I think the real question is who defines "good looking." There is no objective measure of attractiveness.
Look at actors and actresses. Some of them would look bizarre if seen from another decade. Watch the original Mummy movie. The leading lady in that film is not what most would want today.
And to the conceited part, perhaps you are the only one who considers you good looking!
I think people, definitely men, are drawn to specific types. They may notice beauty in general, but they are only interested in their specific flavor.
Though I agree somewhat with what you are saying above, I do think that there is an objective measure of attractiveness. Angela Joli has been referred to one of the most beautiful woman in the world. Why is that?
Let's face it, some woman are blessed with good-looks, others are not, just the same as men are.
If I see a good looking man out there, my head turns, and men do the same to women.
I personally think it's a whole package kind of thing! Good grooming, dressed well, nice eyes, good teeth, nice smile, good physical condition, (proportinate of course!) Look at some of the make-overs they have done, (without plastic surgery). It's amazing what can turn an ugly duckling into a swan!
 
  Reply With Quote
cp30 is offline cp30 Post #22  August 4,2009, 3:07pm

has only threatened to give up

Power Poster

Joined: Dec 2007

Up in the NW corner somewhere, but not quite Canada :)

Posts: 7,750

See profile

I'm sure it helps to get a lot more responses from men, just intial requests to communicate and emails.

The problem there is what someone else said....just more muck to trudge through, which can, truly be exhausting when you see more muck than ...diamonds in the muck, or get to a point where you can no longer idenitfy or have the energy to entertain those who might diamonds in the muck/rough. Whatever.

I'd guess being good looking overall helps to make more people attracted to you. That has drawbacks. Finding the more sincere people is one of them. I think a lot of it has to do, more with how you present yourself. If you present yourself as very sexy, people will see that about you and focus on it. If you present yourself more modestly, you might have a better chance of meeting someone that is more sincere.
 
  Reply With Quote
Mr_Right is offline Mr_Right Post #23  August 4,2009, 3:39pm
Mr_Right's Avatar

says this is the best wedding picture!

Virtuoso

Joined: Jun 2008

USA

Posts: 4,386

See profile

Well, I'd rather be attractive than not. You know, tall, dimpled, and handsome.

Hey, wait a sec...

Though someday I'll be bald.
 
  Reply With Quote
delux269 is offline delux269 Post #24  August 4,2009, 4:03pm
delux269's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Aug 2009

Posts: 43

See profile

Being attractive greatly helps, and being non attractive greatly hurts. I am average looking I would say. And I start communication with every match I receive. And I RARELY get responses to me initiating communication. I only get about 1 woman out of every 10 matches to answer my first questions. It's sad, and its unfair to non attractive men like me. But I guess its the way the world works.
 
  Reply With Quote
MitsySouffle is offline MitsySouffle Post #25  August 4,2009, 4:28pm
MitsySouffle's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Jul 2009

Posts: 3

See profile

In my experience, it has hindered finding a match. I've been told numerous times after the fact by men or their friends that they didn't approach me because they assumed I must be taken OR they didn't have a chance.

A third factor: When you look a certain way, I find that it's hard to get men to focus on the person as opposed to just the visual. It's exhausting and it's the very reason I was drawn to eHarmony. I'm careful of the pictures that I put up. That way I'm more likely to communicate with people focused on me as a person, as opposed to how I look.

This doesn't make one self-absorbed, etc. It makes one honest to state this. I envy what happy couples have, no matter how they look. I'd like to one day meet someone who is able to focus on me as a person and love me for my inner qualities; and not just for what he sees on the outside.
 
  Reply With Quote
Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #26  August 4,2009, 4:46pm
Gr8Guyn2008's Avatar

I'm crippled by the fear That I've fallen too far to love

Sage

Joined: Jan 2008

Orlando, FL

Posts: 18,865

See profile

Comedian wrote :
I think the real question is who defines "good looking." There is no objective measure of attractiveness.
Look at actors and actresses. Some of them would look bizarre if seen from another decade. Watch the original Mummy movie. The leading lady in that film is not what most would want today.
And to the conceited part, perhaps you are the only one who considers you good looking!
I think people, definitely men, are drawn to specific types. They may notice beauty in general, but they are only interested in their specific flavor.
I wholeheartedly disagree with this.
 
  Reply With Quote
Genie57 is offline Genie57 Post #27  August 4,2009, 4:49pm
Genie57's Avatar

Quick Study

Joined: Jul 2009

Chicago

Posts: 183

See profile

Sometimes it can hinder because people can sometimes be too intimidated to approach someone they think is too good looking.
 
  Reply With Quote
neardc is offline neardc Post #28  August 4,2009, 4:56pm
neardc's Avatar

Kumbaya, people!

Power Poster

Joined: Jun 2008

Near DC (duh!)

Posts: 7,740

See profile

delux269 wrote :
Being attractive greatly helps, and being non attractive greatly hurts. I am average looking I would say. And I start communication with every match I receive. And I RARELY get responses to me initiating communication. I only get about 1 woman out of every 10 matches to answer my first questions. It's sad, and its unfair to non attractive men like me. But I guess its the way the world works.
You are an attractive young man with a great smile. The truth is that you have no idea why your matches haven't responded. In fact, the norm with eH is for there to be few responses to initial contact (in large part because many of your matches are not paying members and so cannot respond...). That's not to say that you might not get more responses if you were Brad Pitt, but not every woman likes the pretty boys, either...

If you are getting a response from 1 in 10, then it sounds like there are quite a few women with whom you can follow up!
 
  Reply With Quote
shown is offline shown Post #29  August 4,2009, 5:02pm
shown's Avatar

Love being me!!!!!!!

Newbie

Joined: Jul 2009

Posts: 5

See profile

Yes cause you should want someone to know you from the heart not on looks.
 
  Reply With Quote
tbesq is offline tbesq Post #30  August 4,2009, 5:11pm
tbesq's Avatar

Virtuoso

Joined: Jun 2008

Posts: 3,536

See profile

I think, at its very basic premise, it is easier to get matches to respond to you if you are attractive. This is how I interpret the OP. Not necessarily what happens weeks or months down the line, but just getting people to notice and respond to your profile. Yes, being attractive helps. Those who consider themselves unattractive and not getting responses would gladly accept the headaches attractive people face in finding someone who will notice them for more than their looks. I think this is more the case for women than for men. An attractive women, in general, will get many responses even with a sparse profile. Women tend to be pickier; looks often will not be enough, especially if that woman is herself attractive and in a position to be choosy.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply


« Good Jobs for Meeting a MOTOS (member of the opposite sex)? | Dating | To all the single moms »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
Why Successful Women Can't Find a Great Man eharmonyadvice Ask a Dating Expert 630 August 16,2011 10:01pm
Free Communication Weekend and the Theory of Match Counts ScottK Using eHarmony 19 November 11,2010 12:10pm
Good boss? eH_Advice_Admin_Lori Career 11 July 13,2010 9:33am

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“It's important to understand the way a site works. Rigidly assuming / insisting that eH works likes all the others you're used to isn't utilizing the site functions to your best advantage. No.... ... ” –  Wiseman2

Join the “First contact on eHarmony, smile, questions, email?” discussion

“ If you have yet to meet, you don't know him or whether you two will form a connection. Connections formed over e-mail tend to be fantasies. You will see this echoed over and over by experienced ... ” –  shapeShifter79

Join the “How do i recoonect with him again?” discussion

“ Then it's a bit premature to worry about being friend-zoned. The first step is to go out on dates! What specific steps did you try? How many women did you ask out in person? Did you buy a ... ” –  shapeShifter79

Join the “For women to answer: How to avoid the friend zone” discussion

“ This is an old thread. She asked this in 2010. By now they are likely very exclusive or very over. ” –  shapeShifter79

Join the “is there a reason to ask if we're exclusive?” discussion

“ I'm sure he wouldn't get that. And I can't be sure that was the actual message. But it sems kind of likely to me.” –  boomer_gal

Join the “Why am I not successful?” discussion

“Hi eccemuliere and welcome to eHA.On an internet forum like eHA, you're going to get a wide variety of responses; some you'll like and some you won't. It's best to focus on the ones that speak to ... ” –  Sassafras54

Join the “Being blown off, or something else?” discussion

“ Although I have ignored my gut at times, in hindsight it's always been right, in terms of recognizing bad choices. QUOTE] But once we realize our past mistakes, we can use our reason to clue us ... ” –  eccemuliere

Join the “Is Your Gut Leading - or Misleading You?” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 5:18am.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0