If you had a dating crystal ball....


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eHA_Admin_Lori is offline eHA_Admin_Lori — Advice Official Moderator Post #1  August 3,2009, 12:47pm
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....and could tell ahead of time whether or not a date would go well, would you use it in order to avoid heartbreak, or would you still go through the process of the date for the experience of it?

A more concise way to ask this question might be:

What is more important in dating: the journey, or the destination? Or, are they both equally important?
 
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brneyedangel is offline brneyedangel Post #2  August 3,2009, 12:57pm
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would very much appreciate it if the rain would stop, now! Thanks!

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eH_Advice_Admin_Lori wrote :
....and could tell ahead of time whether or not a date would go well, would you use it in order to avoid heartbreak, or would you still go through the process of the date for the experience of it?

A more concise way to ask this question might be:

What is more important in dating: the journey, or the destination? Or, are they both equally important?
I think that both the journey and the destination are equally important.

While dating can be a frustrating process at times, I'd have to say no crystal ball for me, thanks. A part of getting to where you truly want to be is learning from the process. I wouldn't want to spoil the chance of getting to the wrong place with the wrong person by not learning some of the lessons I've learned along the way. To me, this is how you find out that your final destination is, in fact, the correct one. And your destination is what you most desire and where you head out from together. Just because you've reached your destination doesn't mean the journey is done, either, because there's still a lot of living and learning to do together....
 
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When_I_See_You_Smile is offline When_I_See_You_Smile Post #3  August 3,2009, 1:06pm
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They're equally important. The journey helps you figure out what you want, and how you deal with things.

I have never regretted a single date I've been on, or a relationship I've been in; I've learned something from all of them.

As far as the destination goes, the only one I'm looking for is a LTR that leads to marriage. As far as I know, taking that journey, is the only way to get there.
 
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When_I_See_You_Smile is offline When_I_See_You_Smile Post #4  August 3,2009, 1:09pm
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brneyedangel wrote :
I think that both the journey and the destination are equally important.

While dating can be a frustrating process at times, I'd have to say no crystal ball for me, thanks. A part of getting to where you truly want to be is learning from the process. I wouldn't want to spoil the chance of getting to the wrong place with the wrong person by not learning some of the lessons I've learned along the way. To me, this is how you find out that your final destination is, in fact, the correct one. And your destination is what you most desire and where you head out from together. Just because you've reached your destination doesn't mean the journey is done, either, because there's still a lot of living and learning to do together....
Excellent point!
 
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MCMLXXII is offline MCMLXXII Post #5  August 3,2009, 3:44pm
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If I could look into my dating crystal ball and know, in advance, that a date would not go well, I would still go. I may get some free sushi out of it!

Seriously, the destination is important and how I got there is equally important. I have a friend who's kinda newly married and she and her husband didn't have a fairy-tale courtship...which makes you wonder how the marriage will pan-out.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #6  August 3,2009, 4:03pm
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I'm crippled by the fear That I've fallen too far to love

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MCMLXXII wrote :
If I could look into my dating crystal ball and know, in advance, that a date would not go well, I would still go. I may get some free sushi out of it!

Seriously, the destination is important and how I got there is equally important. I have a friend who's kinda newly married and she and her husband didn't have a fairy-tale courtship...which makes you wonder how the marriage will pan-out.
Not sure how you can be "kinda" newly married

Maybe the fact that the courtship was not a fairy tale will mean that they have already figured out how to deal with the rocky part of life.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #7  August 3,2009, 4:08pm
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I truly wish that I had a dating crystal ball. Not so that I could avoid a bad date but so that I would have some insight into making each and every one better.

I do have to agree with the others both the journey and destination are equally important. I really do not wish that I had not been on any of my dates. I have enjoyed every one even if they were with someone that was not to be long term. I just wish I could say that I learned something from each one but I am just not a very good student.
 
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pukeko is offline pukeko Post #8  August 3,2009, 4:19pm
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if i have a crystal, i would like to see the destination of the entire dating experience. that's the point of the dating - to get through to the end, the happily ever after. if i have a crystal which can allow me to see the destination, i will be free of all the headaches and heartaches from the dating experinces, especially in this day in age.

in traditional culture, people don't date. if a guy loves a girl, he would go to his parents and ask them for permission to wed her. in return, he promises them that he will love her with all his heart.


in reality though, like everything else, i believe that what matter most is definitely the journey, not the destination. it is the journey of life, the experiences of life that makes me a better person every day.
 
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MCMLXXII is offline MCMLXXII Post #9  August 3,2009, 4:20pm
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Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
Not sure how you can be "kinda" newly married

Maybe the fact that the courtship was not a fairy tale will mean that they have already figured out how to deal with the rocky part of life.
"Kinda" newly married means they recently celebrated their one year anniversary.

These are my friends and I know them and I know they haven't figured out all the kinks...which was evident in the courtship. Thanks Gr8.
 
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chawks64 is offline chawks64 Post #10  August 3,2009, 4:24pm
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I've learned quite ENOUGH over the past few carp-filled decades, thank you very much!

Destination, please!
 
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